Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
1992
D: Chris Columbus
**********
It seems that humanity works on a hive mind, and I’m slightly disturbed to say that I may be a part of that. Up to this point, the only reason people generally referenced this movie is because of the post hoc political context of Donald Trump’s cameo. But this year, I sensed a trend of people actually watching the movie, so I joined in. And likewise, I feel compelled to write a review of it, especially with some people asserting that it’s actually better than the first movie (they’re wrong). It’s been a while since I’ve watched this movie, and on an odd side note I was taken aback by how average-looking the guys in the pool room look now.
This was considered comically fat to 8-year-old me.
For years, I’ve submitted to seeing Home Alone as a guilty pleasure, but now I’m open about its being a genuinely great movie and a true Christmas classic. As a child, I would check my watch until I got to the slapstick third act, but as an adult I appreciate the heart of the movie. It also has sufficient religious themes: refuge and reconciliation in a church, for one thing. Kevin’s prayers for his family’s return, and some have even asserted that Kevin is a Christ figure of sorts, crucified by Jews (Harry) and the Romans (Marv).
Home Alone 2 lacks this advantage. Kevin’s innocence is absent, as this has already happened to him once before; he simply accepts the reality that he got onto the wrong plane. He also has little qualms about using his father’s credit card for a needlessly expensive hotel. In contrast, he only uses Buzz’s savings in the first movie for basics and is ashamed of being driven by panic into shoplifting. He is rationally afraid of Harry (Joe Pesci) and Marv (Daniel Stern), but he has no fear to overcome as character development. In the first movie, he honestly believed that had magically wished his family out of existence, only to long for them after the initial hedonistic buzz had worn off. Also his mother’s (Catherine O’Hara) quest is far less of a committed arc than in the first movie and their reunion is less emotional and more flippant.
In one of its many plagiarisms of the first movie, Home Alone 2 features an unlikely friend in the form of a lonely homeless woman (Brenda Fricker) who was presumably outcast from society for her tragic resemblance to Piers Morgan, which explains her resignation to the sole company of the Feathered Rat. This trait causes Kevin to forget his entire arc with Old Man Marley (Roberts Blossom) and run away in fear. There are a lot of forgotten lessons from the first movie, here, otherwise we wouldn't have a plot. He eventually bonds with her, and gives her the exact same speech about not being afraid to reach out to others for fear of rejection. Once again, this old person rescues Kevin from the Wet Sticky Bandits in the final face-off. Fricker’s performance is compelling, but she lacks the context of having the entire neighborhood’s being afraid of her. Marley was ashamed of being pegged by all the local children as the local serial killer.
Since the themes and context are diluted in this sequel and its plot beats shamelessly repeated, the only hope for its self-justification lies in its surface-level appeal. It’s true that the new movie is an opportunity for new gags and jokes, and some could argue that it does outdo the first movie in its more brutal slapstick. Then again, it can’t be used as a substitute for the first because it clearly acknowledges the events of the first. Still, Home Alone 2 is amusing and entertaining. Columbus’ direction imparts a well-executed whimsy, and there are some good lines.
The most clever part of Home Alone 2 is the first act setup: it’s a remarkably good subversion. Buzz (Devin Ratray, whose performance is underrated) needlessly antagonizes Kevin, who shoves him. Since Buzz implied to get away with everything, Kevin was driven to vigilantism, the true voice of the unheard. This time they up the ante by having the event be far more outlandish and public. The McCallisters have not completely learned nothing, since they give a token acknowledgment to Buzz’s part this time, but they easily fall for his lame fake apology and single out Kevin for punishment. Kevin refuses to apologize and very understandably expresses his frustration with the family’s plan to fly to warm area for Christmas. His home makes an attempt to reconcile with him, but doubles down on all the false premises. He is punished once again by being made to sleep on the third floor (at this point I am being very annoyed by the McCallisters, but at least they face karma in the form of being forced to spend the first part of their vacation in a seedy Miami motel during a rainstorm). Meanwhile his dad (John Heard) accidentally resets his alarm clock (still not learning those things had battery packs for a reason) while retrieving his camera battery (his addiction to the device is foreshadowed by an ominous closeup of it in his hands while watching TV in the first scene). When they oversleep again, they rush down to the shuttles and we get a good reveal of Kevin answering the roll call in the van. The disaster ends up having a far simpler explanation: in the rush at the airport, he tries to put batteries into his Talkboy and loses a track of his father. Chasing after another man in similar clothes (Rick Shafer), he boards the wrong plane. He bumps into the flight attendant and makes a mess of all the tickets, so they don’t have time to check his. Meanwhile some very irresponsible airline employees lie to his mother about ensuring his presence on the other plane, only to shut the door behind them. When he attempts conversation with a stranger in the next seat (Andre Lachaumette), only for the latter to start babbling in French. Disgusted by the presence of a Frenchman, Kevin dons some headphones to drown him out with music, thus missing the takeoff announcement that mentions his destination.
The most original part of Home Alone 2 is an arc involving the movie's designated villain, the Hotel Concierge (Tim Curry). He does nothing technically wrong, and he only wishes to investigate a suspicious situation in which someone is fraudulently paying for a hotel room with a stolen credit card. The problem is that he sees Kevin as an enemy as opposed to an innocent bystander/potential victim, as he is convinced that an adult is present in the room. We could have had another don’t-judge-a-book-by-its-cover subversion, but in his final scene he makes it clear how unconcerned he is with Kevin’s safety, which gets him karmic humiliation at the hands of Kevin’s parents, who have far more to answer for.
Not sure why I use this image as a shorthand for bad writing, though.
Some stylistic magic is apparent in Duncan’s Toy Chest, a beautiful toy store ran by a kindly old man (Eddie Bracken), which demonstrates why Columbus was chosen to direct the first two Harry Potter movies. The movie’s moral conflict is established by the Sticky Bandits’ plan to rob the cash profits, which Kevin finds out are traditionally reserved for donation to the local Children’s Hospital. It’s a a basic altruistic motivation, less boldly assertive in morals than Kevin’s right to defend his home from anarchy. Did I mention the movie is also less boldly spiritual in its themes?
Kevin barely misses crossing paths with his mother when returning to his other uncle’s townhouse, which is euphemistically described as being renovated (we could have gotten in an interesting twist in which he and his mother team up against the villains, but we can’t have anything new in this movie). This dump is where he plans to retaliate against the Sticky Bandits with “Operation Ho Ho Ho,” which is prepped to what I’m pretty sure is the same rendition of “Carol of the Bells” and is enacted through a well-executed needle drop. The ensuing slapstick is well executed. Columbus’ direction helps make the movie entertaining. Even Rob Shneider is used effectively as the hotel’s long-suffering bellhop Cedric.
While most of the comedy is fresh enough to render the movie entertaining, one scene stands out as a typical bad comedy sequel’s forced attempt to one-up a good joke from the previous movie. In Home Alone, “Angels with Filthy Souls” ranks highly among movies-within-movies I wish was real. While its dialogue is good in a campy way, the lines in “Angels with Even Filthier Souls” are just an obnoxiously forced parody of 20’s slang. Ralph Foody returns as Johnny in the sequence, and Clare Hoak appears as the Dame. Kevin plays the same trick on the Concierge that he plays on the pizza boy using this film.
There are other moments where the comedy is too silly. The stilted use of the inflatable clown in the shower, and the cartoon sound effects heard when Marv compulsively steals from random people, for example.
Home Alone 2 is a typical example of a species of bad sequel: one that repeats what worked in the original only with less substance and more over-the-top effects. Consequentially, the movie is dependent upon its surface-level amusements to distinguish itself, but at least these are well-executed enough to make it an entertaining movie. As in other shameless rehashes of the first film, John Williams’s score hardly adds anything to the greatness. The movie also stars Kieran Culkin as Fuller McCallister, Gerry Bamman as Uncle Frank, and most if not all of the cast for the McCallister family returns. Donald Trump has a memetic cameo as the “hotel owner,” but it clearly plays out As Himself because the clear joke is that Kevin doesn’t recognize him. Despite this, it seems that the Piers Morgan look-alike is what drove people to talk more about the movie itself this year. It’s somewhat disturbing that it is Piers Morgan that drives our hive mind, after all.
QUOTES
BUZZ: Ladies and gentlemen of the Jury...I'd like to apologize to my family, for whatever displeasure I might have cause you...
KEVIN: [whispering] What?
BUZZ: My prank was immature, and ill-timed.
UNCLE FRANK: Immature or not, it was pretty gol'durned hilarious!
BUZZ: And I'd also like to apologize to my brother. Kevin, I'm sorry.
KEVIN'S MOM: Oh, Buzz. That was very nice.
[Family claps]
KEVIN'S MOM: Kevin, do you have something to say?
[Buzz smirks at Kevin and whispers] Beat that, you little trout-sniffer.
KEVIN: [bolting up] I'm not sorry. I did what I did because Buzz humiliated me. And since he gets away with everything, I let him have it. And since you're also stupid to believe his lies, I don't care if your idiotic Florida trip gets wrecked or not. Who wants to spend Christmas in a tropical climate, anyway?
[They check the plane tickets in the shuttle van]
KEVIN’S MOM: 11,12, 13…Where’s Kevin?!
KEVIN: [revealing himself from the front seat] 14. It’s a good thing I have my own ticket, just in case you guys try to ditch me.
[picking up Kevin’s bag at the baggage claim and passing it down]
AUNT LESLIE: Give this to Kevin.
TRACY: Give this to Kevin.
LINNIE: Kevin.
BUZZ: Give this to Kevin.
ROD: Give this to Kevin.
SONDRA: Give this to Kevin.
MEGAN: Give this to Kevin.
JEFF: Give this to Kevin.
BROOKE: Give this to Kevin.
FULLER: Here you go, Kevin. [notices Kevin is missing and hands bag back to Brooke]
BROOKE: Kevin’s not here.
JEFF: Kevin’s not here.
MEGAN: Kevin’s not here.
SONDRA: Kevin’s not here.
LINNIE: Kevin’s not here.
TRACY: Kevin’s not here.
AUNT LESLIE: Kevin’s not here.
KEVIN’S MOM: Kevin’s not here.
KEVIN’S DAD: What?!
KEVIN’S MOM: [laughs momentarily, then realizes] Kevin!!!
KEVIN: I'm traveling with my dad. He's at a meeting. I hate meetings. Plus I'm not allowed to go in. I can only sit in the lobby. That's boring. So he dropped me off here. He gave me his credit card and told me to give this to whoever was welcoming people in so I won't get into mischief. And ma'am, sometimes I do get into mischief.
KEVIN: I’m sorry, you wanted a tip.[he had earlier given Cedric a “tip” in the form of a single piece of gum]
CEDRIC: That won’t be necessary, sir I still have some [shows him the piece of chewed gum] tip left over.
KEVIN: [holding up a bundle of cash] No tip? Okay. [closes door]
CEDRIC: Uh, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait…
GANGSTER JOHNNY: Alright, I believe ya…but my Tommy Gun don’t!
[The Hotel staff fall on top of each other in an unsuccessful attempt to catch Kevin, leaving Cedric lying on the ground with a heavy-lidded expression of defeat]
CONCIERGE: Get up, Cedric. [drags him off by the arm]
MR. DUNCAN: You see that tree there?
Well, to show our appreciation for your generosity, I'm gonna let you select an object from that tree that you can take home with you.
KEVIN: For free?
MR. DUNCAN: Oh, yes. Oh, and may I make a suggestion? Take the turtle doves.
KEVIN: Can I have two?
MR. DUNCAN: Well, two turtle doves. I'll tell you what you do: you keep one, and you give the other one to a very special person. You see, turtle doves are a symbol of friendship and love. And as long as each of you has your turtle dove, you'll be friends forever.
KEVIN: Did you have any kids?
PIGEON LADY: No. Oh, l wanted them. But the man I loved fell out of love with me. That broke my heart. And whenever the chance to be loved came along again, I ran away from it. I stopped trusting people.
KEVIN: No offense, but that seems like sort of a dumb thing to do.
PIGEON LADY: I was afraid of getting my heart broken again. You see, sometimes you can trust a person, and then, when things are down, they forget about you.
KEVIN: Maybe they're just too busy. Maybe they don't forget about you, but they forget to remember you. l don't think people mean to forget. l think it just happens. My grandfather says if my head wasn't screwed on, I'd leave it on the school bus.
PIGEON LADY: I'm just afraid if I do trust someone, I'll get my heart broken again.
KEVIN: I understand that. l used to have this really nice pair of rollerblades. l was afraid if l wore them, l'd wreck them. So l kept them in a box. Do you know what happened?
PIGEON LADY: No.
KEVIN: I outgrew them. I never wore them once outside. l just wore them in my room a couple times.
PIGEON LADY: A person's heart and a person's feelings are very different than skates.
KEVIN: Well, they're kind of the same thing. lf you aren't going to use your heart, then what's the difference if it gets broken? If you just keep it to yourself, maybe it'll be like my rollerblades. When you do decide to try it, it won't be any good. You should take a chance. Got nothing to lose.
PIGEON LADY: A bit of truth in there somewhere.
KEVIN: I think so. Your heart might be broken, but it isn’t gone. If it was gone, you wouldn’t be this nice.
PIGEON LADY: Thank you. Do you know that it's been... a couple of years since l've talked to anybody?
KEVIN: That’s okay. You’re really good at it. You're not boring. You don't mumble or spit when you talk. You should do it more often. l think you just have to wear an outfit that doesn't have pigeon poop on it.
PIGEON LADY: [laughs] l have been working very hard at keeping people away, haven't l?
KEVIN: l always think l'll have a lot of fun if l'm alone, but when l'm alone, it isn't that much fun at all. I don't care how much people bug me sometimes, l'd rather be with somebody than by myself.
KEVIN: This is it. No going back. Another Christmas in the trenches... [throws brick at the toy store window]
MARV: NOOOOOOOOOOO!
[Brick shatters the glass, which triggers the alarm]
[seeing the metal pipe that just knocked him and Marv down come loose and fall toward them]
MARV: [weakly] No…
KEVIN: Merry Christmas.
PIGEON LADY: Kevin! Merry Christmas!
KEVIN: I got something for ya.
PIGEON LADY: What’s this?
KEVIN: It’s a turtle dove. I have one, you have one. As long as we each have a turtle dove, we’ll be friends forever.
PIGEON: Oh, Kevin…thank you.
KEVIN: I won’t forget you, trust me.
[they hug]
CEDRIC: Mr. McCallister’s Room service bill, sir. Merry Christmas, sir.
[he holds out his hand for a tip, and Buzz gives him a piece of chewed gum]
CEDRIC: Nice family. Really.
