Oscars 2018

Well it’s time for the Oscars again.  We claim to not care about this show, but as long as we care about movies we’ll care what movie gets recognized no matter how little credibility the Academy has.  I should probably see Phantom Thread, Darkest Hour, I, Tonya, Mudbound and Three Billboards sometime


BEST PICTURE
Call Me by Your Name, Darkest Hour, Dunkirk, Get Out, Lady Bird, Phantom Thread, The Post, The Shape of Water, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Out of these movies I’ve only seen Dunkirk and Get Out, neither of them were the best movie from the year.  I’ve heard terrible things about The Shape of Water, and Get Out is similarly undeserving, being a thriller of SJWs.  I’m betting that this will be the Woke Olympics, and my money is on Lady Bird.  Gay rights isn’t the flavor of the season, and Shape of Water and Get Out might not overcome the genre bias.  Blade Runner 2049 was snubbed.



BEST DIRECTOR
Christopher Nolan (Dunkirk), Jordan Peele (Get Out), Greta Gerwig (Lady Bird), Paul Thomas Anderson (Phantom Thread), Guillermo del Toro (The Shape of Water)

Christopher Nolan is the most deserving here, if only for his whole career.  Greta Gerwig is probably the least deserving, but will probably win because Feminism.  Also Denis Villeneuve was snubbed for Blade Runner 2049



BEST ACTOR
Timothée Chalamet (Call Me By Your Name), Daniel Day-Lewis (Phantom Thread), Daniel Kaluuya (Get Out), Gary Oldman, (Darkest Hour), Denzel Washington (Roman J. Israel, Esq.)

Gary Oldman needs an Oscar already, DDL and Denzel Washington already have theirs.



BEST SONG
"Mighty River" (Mudbound), "Mystery of Love" (Call Me by Your Name),"Remember Me” (Coco), "Stand Up For Something" (Marshall), "This is Me" (Greatest Showman)

Most of these are good, but none of them nearly as good as “Open Up Your Eyes” from MLP: The Movie.  Not surprising, though; the Academy’s bias against villain songs dwarfs its bias against sci-fi movies in Best Picture.



BEST SCORE
Hans Zimmer (Dunkirk), Johnny Greenwood (The Phantom Thread), Alexandre Desplat (The Shape of Water), John Williams (The Last Jedi), Carter Burwell (Three Billboards)

All of these are deserving except for The Last Jedi.  I don’t know why we’re now nominating the scores for the Sequel Trilogy even though they're clearly not on the par with the rest of the franchise.  The prequels were far more deserving of nominations in this category.  Blade Runner 2049’s score deserved the nom more.



BEST ANIMATED FILM
The Boss Baby, The Breadwinner, Coco, Ferdinand, Loving Vincent

I haven’t seen any of these, but I’ve heard Coco is very good, and I’m a bit biased toward Loving Vincent because IT’S A FREAKING ANIMATED OIL PAINTING.  The biggest complaint I hear is that LEGO Batman got snubbed, which I don’t agree with.  It was a kid-friendly version of a lazy Seth McFarlane spoof.  My Little Pony: The Movie was a season finale of the show stretched out to feature length and it deserved an Oscar more than that did. 



BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
The Big Sick, Get Out, Lady Bird, The Shape of Water, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

That one cringeworthy line about cultural appropriation alone should have disqualified Get Out, and from what I’ve heard, The Shape of Water is also undeserving.



BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
Blade Runner 2049, Darkest Hour, Dunkirk, Mudbound, The Shape of Water

It will be a travesty if Roger Deakins does not win a long-overdue Oscar for Blade Runner.  It’s even above average by hisown standards. 



BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN
Beauty and the Beast, Blade Runner 2049, Darkest Hour, Dunkirk, The Shape of Water
SOUND EDITING/MIXING
Baby Driver, Blade Runner 2049, Dunkirk, The Shape of Water, Star Wars: The Last Jedi
VISUAL EFFECTS
Blade Runner 2049, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Kong: Skull Island, Star Wars: The Last Jedi, War for the Planet of the Apes

Seriously, just give all these to Blade Runner.  It’s the only reason I’m even acknowledging the Oscars this year.



FILM EDITING
Baby Driver, Dunkirk, I, Tonya, The Shape of Water, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

I would have liked Dunkirk about 1,000,000x better if actually let its damn scenes play out before cutting back and forth between then.  Baby Driver deserves it more.



MAKEUP AND HAIRSTYLING
Darkest Hour, Victoria and Abdul, Wonder

Yeah, I think turning Gary Oldman into Winston Churchill is the clear winner here.