2003 Mercury Sable LS Premium
Silver
Nickname: Winifred
90,000mi
MPG: 17 everyday, 22 on trips (Regular gas)
Pros: Styling, Reliability Besides Transmission
Cons: Transmission, A/C Flaw (worked around), Some Ergonomic Complaints, Disappointing Gas Mileage
This marks the 10th anniversary of my first blog post, in which I showed off my 2001 Buick LeSabre. Unfortunately, I’ve had rather bad luck with machines. While I’ve heard some bad things about Windows 10, I’ve never heard of anyone’s having two W10 computers brick themselves after 9 months apiece (and even when they were working they always ran like they had at least 10 years’ worth of junk data on them). Also, my Ruger KP90, reputed to be one of the most reliable pistols one could possibly own, is a piece of junk that has never worked right.So it almost follows that my LeSabre, despite the model’s famous refusal to die, caught fire after eight years to good service.
Unfortunately, my replacement was not a particularly wise purchase, even if I’m out of the woods on most of its problems.
My primary pieces of advice for anyone looking into these cars.
1. If the car does not already have a fresh transmission (preferably a re-engineered one like a Jasper), know you'll need to have an extra $4,000 handy to replace it. They generally die at around 65,000 miles.
2. Before you buy the Duratec, make sure you try out the Vulcan to see if it's powerful enough for you, unless you want a mid-size sedan with the gas mileage of an SUV.
3. If you're having trouble with the A/C not blowing cold, try using the Floor/AC combination button.
STYLING
I seem to be contrarian when it comes to car styling, and honestly that’s what attracted me to the car. There are so many cars that everybody says are boring/ugly that I find beautiful, and the 4th Gen Sable is one of them. Like the 3rd Gen, it’s better looking than the Taurus in a way that made it seem like that’s what the latter should have looked like, especially considering how superfluous a brand Mercury was by then. The 2000 model adapted the platform to appear more traditional, and it was surprisingly effective. The changes mostly consisted of a traditional grill and a fuller rear end with some nicely designed taillights. It pulls off the aesthetic well while being very sleek. One detail I love is the distinctive, perfectly-shaped C-Pillar and how it blends in with the body. I also like the svelte, concave surface of the side panels. One common problem attempted malaise-era nostalgia is the assumption that such cars looked good because they were boxy, but the Greatest Generation knew better. They looked good because they were long, low, wide, and they had a healthy amount of adornment.
Despite how effective the design was, they didn’t fully commit with the embellishment. The 4th Gen Sables lack sufficient chrome trim and they came with bland wheels. As a result, they slightly awkward-looking the same way as a wreckovated Catholic Church. It took some searching and some money, but I finally managed to bring out the car’s natural beauty. First I had to replace the wheels with black steel rims that would accept some nice hubcaps, and then I got some Coker whitewalls (the only whitewalls I could find in that size), which were a bit rare/expensive due to decreased demand from the T-Bird remake they were made for. The tires are a bit larger than the factory ones, so they give the car a spryer stance. It’s a huge improvement and it makes a world of difference. I also got some aftermarket chrome trim for the windows and spray-painted the grill (it took me a while to get enough internet research to feel safe about that because for some stupid reason everyone wanted to black their grills out). I considered some chrome wheel trim, but it looked good enough without it, and they seemed to be a hassle to install. This might have been thanks to the silver paint job, which I at first was worried would not contrast enough with the chrome. I have a car that looks better than 95% of what’s on the road but I do sometimes miss that LeSabre booty.
INTERIOR
The interior is a nice traditional one, similar in personality to that of the LeSabre, but it accentuates the cold light gray with some dark gray and some fake wood trim. It has plain black plastic door handles, but that’s fine; brightwork is for the exterior. Unlike the Buick, it has a console and a center-mounted shifter. I like the driver-oriented cockpit feel as much as the next person, but it is nice to be able to slide across the bench seat to exit the passenger’s door in case I’m parked on the side of the road. Bench seats and column shifters are now all but extinct, but the only practical advantage to the console shifter I’ve heard is a vague assertion that it’s “safer.” The only reason I can think of for that is that you’d be less tempted to place a child in the front middle seat as a human sacrifice to the car crash gods. Also bench seating is roomier.
The instrument panel is well-designed and is nicely integrated into the dashboard. Easily legible gauges in a nice green light that was Ford’s signature at the time, much nicer than the white that car companies prefer now for some reason. I prefer a single color for the instrumentation lighting, but the orange needles and yellowish odometer backlight give it a surprisingly warm look. I miss the times when interior lighting was minimal and practical, and this car is an example of that.
Ergonomics are overall pretty good. The steering wheel lacks audio controls, but the volume/power dial is very well placed so that’s not a problem. I managed to find a good place to mount a Sandisk Clipjam which is connected to the tape deck via an adapter whose wire I’ve glued flush to the dash. Interestingly enough, the car eschewed the Three Dials for ergonomically inferior buttons because it’s the upscale trim.
The biggest ergonomic complaint I had was the moronically low placement of the rear-view mirror. I’m 6’3,” and it was an intolerable blindspot. Fortunately I had it removied and replaced with a higher mounted mirror that’s well-placed. Another example of questionable design is that the high beams are activated by permanently pushing the turn signal stalk forward, necessitating a conscious decision to reach farther for the turn signal. In an impressive feat of precision American engineering, the left driver’s side A/C vent is in just the right place for your left hand to block its ability to cool your face. Storage is slight, but I’ve managed to find a place for all my stuff while having the interior look good.
In addition to a GPS mount I glued to the dashboard and an engine diagnostic display I’ve bought, I also added the option of mounting a green 7-segment digital speedometer that I can securely mount to the dashboard if I want the 80’s retro look. It doesn’t even block any warning lights.
PERFORMANCE
Knowing better than to buy the Vulcan, I went with the Duratec DOHC. The engine is powerful enough, but the new transmission is a bit rough. It’s tolerable though. Gas mileage is a bit disappointing for a car its size. I’m generally lucky to break 20mpg daily driving in this thing, but fortunately I don’t drive very far to work.
The performance is adequate but noticeably inferior to the Buick’s. Despite the lack of any apparent confounding factors, the slightly heavier LeSabre got noticeably better gas mileage and smoother acceleration with a better ride. I average 17 mpg in daily driving, and got 22 mpg on a road trip.
RELIABILITY
This is what ultimately made this a bad purchase at the time. I tried to do my research, but apparently the Sable’s sales figures were not statically significant enough to provoke a rating on CarComplaints. Had I thought to cross-reference it with the Taurus, I would have saved myself some trouble. It turns out this thing (particularly the ’03 model) has a criminally bad transmission: one that generally gives out at about 65,000 miles, which was about the mileage this had when I bought it. Even Nissan CVTs will probably give you six figures before they give up the ghost. Funny thing was there was no indication when it happened. No noise, no shudderr; the car just stopped accelerating when I pushed on the gas.
The repair was not cheap either. I was told that if I wanted a real fix I would have to get a Jasper transmission, which ended up costing me $4,000 but comes with a 3-year, 100,000 mile warranty. Otherwise I would just have another factory transmission put in that could break at any time. It almost put me in the red. I figure Winifred would be an appropriate nickname for a car that had to be brought back to life.
So yeah, don’t buy one of these cars unless it already has a Jasper or you have an extra $4,000.
Another problem is that it took a while to get the AC figured out. The cold air was practically nonexistent until I figured out how a small hack: you need to run the combination AC/Floor for it to blow cold. The car was very unpleasant to drive during the summer in the middle of the day, but now it's good.
Strangely enough, it was three Cons that saved me with this car. Shortly after I bought this car, I had reserved a room for FWA 2019, except the con got cancelled due to COVID. The transmission blew out about the date; if that had happened during the road trip that would have really sucked. Then I figured out the initial hack for the AC on the way from FFA 22, which ended up being the basis of the final hack that I stumbled upon during a weekend I had decided not to attend a con because Jim Cummings cancelled.
Despite those two problems, the car has been remarkably problem-free, and I've never had to have it brought in for nearly as many stupid reasons I did with the Buick.
CONCLUSION
Despite this car’s initially being a headache, it should serve me well now that I’ve sorted out its serious problems. Had I known then what I know now, I would not have made this choice, but after a lot of work I’ve got a good car that’s uniquely beautiful. I even have a ‘sona based on it.
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