I’ve been meaning to write this post, although I’m a bit disappointed in my coming up with only seven entries so far. I don’t even dislike all of the songs on this list. Some of these covers are decent, yet often annoyingly asserted to be better than their source material despite their clearly being not. Others are generic, yet often annoyingly asserted to be better than their source material despite their clearly being not. One of them is arguably an improvement over an already terrible song. I suppose this qualifies them all as “overrated” and enough to make a list with. I’m also a bit nonplussed by my coming up with a far greater number improved covers for another post, since conventional wisdom dictates that discernment emphasizes the negative.
Another struggle involved here is the conflict between “overrated” and “least favorite,” since not all the overrated covers are bad and not all my least favorite covers are popular. The latter are my two dishonorable mentions:
“Warriors of the World” by Brides of Lucifer. While shopping for MP3’s for my road trip tunes, I had to settle for this in lieu of the Manowar original. While I appreciate this female cover in concept, its vocals are awkwardly robotic, lacking any syncopation. There’s absolutely no energy to this despite its atmosphere. This seems to be a common problem on Amazon, selling acceptable to underwhelming (often genderbent) obscure covers instead of the original. And people wonder why piracy exists.
 |
| POV: You are listening to Brides of Lucifer's cover of "Warriors of the World." |
“Baby Where Did Our Love Go” by Soft Cell. I would be indifferent to this bland, perfunctory Supremes cover if it did not function a Sword of Damocles threatening to cut short my enjoyment of their classic “Tainted Love” cover at any second. This misguides medley is intriguing since it involves two songs that are practically inversions of each other: A cover of an obscure MoTown song so good that the band has made it their own, and a cover of a famous MoTown song so generic you wonder why they even bothered.
Now down to business:
7. JENNIFER SAUNDERS – “HOLDING OUT FOR A HERO”
To be fair, this is actually a solid and worthy cover, and I may concede that Saunders is technically a better singer. However, it lacks the raw, hardcore energy of the original. I also go out and say this: “Holding Out for a Hero” is my favorite song. Its epic sound combined with its themes of larger-than-life heroism complete with how it relates maleness and femaleness makes it one of the few modern songs out that that truly tapped into something primal. This cover, use utilized well in the Shrek 2 which, unlike the Mario Bros. Movie, had the sense to save it for a climactic battle scene.
6. RUFUS WAINWRIGHT – “HALLELUJAH”
A presentable cover, although the Shrek series seems to have a thing for inferior covers that everybody mistakes for improvements. Covers that lack the raw edge provided in part by the original singer’s distinctive rasp. Ironically, one could far more validly assert that the movie's score is an improved cover since it’s basically an orchestral cover of “Hallelujah” and...also the theme to Deep Blue Sea, apparently. Of course, this is not quite a killjoy the fact that you can’t really enjoy either version without swarms of lyriccels emerging from a dimensional rift like Annihilus screeching pedantically about how the song is actually about not being able to make a woman cum.
5. DISTURBED – “THE SOUND OF SILENCE”
- Original by Simon & Garfunkel
This is a member of a common genus: The Perfunctory Hard Rock Cover. Most are competent and forgettable, but a couple get strangely overrated. Of course, I’m going to make an even bolder statement by saying that I find Disturbed overrated in general. It’s often touted as cut above the rest (presumably due to some good guitar work), but its overall style is a remarkably mediocre and generic manifestation of the genre of rock in vogue at the time. In short, a 2000’s version of Van Halen. Still, whenever a conversation arises over improved covers, you can rest assured that this song will be juxtaposed with Johnny Cash’s deservedly popular “Hurt” cover (sorry to dash the hopes of some of my fellow villains, but a man has to draw the line somewhere) instead of pairing it with its true kin…
4. ALIENT ANT FARM – “SMOOTH CRIMINAL”
This PHRC is good example of how baffling Millennial nostalgia can be. Even if this was a genuinely cacophonic butchery, I might understand it as very bad taste, but it’s just competent. It even lacks some of the accented notes that give the original an extra punch. What’s more is that the video is Jackson’s magnum opus of choreography, outdoing “Thriller” with worthier music, and the new version doesn’t even try to match it. Still, Jackson put in a good word for it.
My friend theorized it was a symptom of everybody’s believing the stories at time (we now retcon enjoyment for more controversial reasons). Then again it could be reflective of the Millennial incuriosity over anything that happened before they reached the age of reason. It’s not like they like edgy new stuff, it’s that they often defiantly prefer disinterestedly hackish adaptations of cool stuff.
3. THE COUNTING CROWS – “BIG YELLOW TAXI”
Okay, now for the songs I genuinely hate. This is the one on this list that may be an improvement over the original. At least the new version displays some musical talent. Still, it’s an annoying, sappy bugbear, that I’ve been a captive audience for countless times while I foraged for sustenance. As is the case with a certain song so tiresome and inescapable that even its own band has grown sick of it, the retail market, for some unfathomable reason, freakin’ loves this song. I don’t know. Maybe they find it amusing that “parking” sounds like “fucking.” Maybe this is commercialism’s way of wearing the skin of its enemy (there's enjoyable music available for that).
Thank goodness for Kroger Delivery.
I guess it goes to show that people of good taste are too stoic. Every time I hear trash like this in a store, I assume there was a time when they attempted to play Led Zeppelin or something and some Karen complained. I could say that we should step up to the plate, but principled conservatives have informed me that we should not sink to the level of our enemies.
2. BLUE SWEDE – “HOOKED ON A FEELING”
I was relieved by release of Guardians of the Galaxy not just because the movie itself was entertaining, but also that it signified a possible reprieve from a full year unsolicited exposure this nasal assault on the tympanic membranes. Also, note how much more energy is in the original when it gets to "when I hold you..."
1. MANFRED MANN – “BLINDED BY THE LIGHT”
- Original by Bruce Springsteen
I’ve come to discover that Springsteen is a pretty decent musician despite his most memetic work’s being mediocre at best (see also: A-Ha), and I’ve spent too much time ignorantly blaming him for a song I’ve despised for the better portion of my life as the original is tolerable. Springsteen himself expressed disappointment and even made the famous observation about the inadvertently crude mispronunciation of “deuce.” Ironically, my familiarity with Manfred Mann consists of this and a genuinely enjoyable cover.
No comments:
Post a Comment