Movies That Wouldn't Be So Bad If They Were Stand-Alone Works

Sometimes our judgment of movies is influenced by our views on their source material.  An adaptation should generally be faithful enough to the spirit of the source material, if the latter is worthy.  Sometimes we can’t always judge movies in a vacuum.  Here are some movies that would be better (or at least not so bad), if they weren't based on something. 

      HONORABLE MENTIONS:  Though I have read and enjoyed The Hunchback of Notre Dame, I still love The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996), which is definitely above-average by Disney standards.  I'm not going to score many points with Alan Moore's fans, but I think V for Vendetta (2006) is a fine movie in its own right, and actually in many ways an improvement over the comic.  I would say that Silent Hill (2006) is the only genuinely good video game movie I’ve seen, but I honestly don’t know enough about the games to make that call.

14. Live Free or Die Hard

2007

D: Len Wiseman

A lot of the appeal of the Die Hard movies was the premise of an everyman going up against the odds in spite of his own fear and some injury, be it mutilated feet or a bad hangover).  In this movie John McClane is less fearful, more callous, and his handicap is apparently baldness.  He even shoots an unarmed man!  The movie still has good comic relief and excellent stylized action.  It's a fun movie and, for what it's worth, Wiseman's most enjoyable work.

 

13. The Secret of NIMH 2: Timmy to the Rescue

1998

D: Dick Sebast

People may balk at this, but I don’t think this movie would get half the hatred if it wasn’t a disappointing sequel to the beloved animated classic.  Otherwise, it would probably end up being a middling-to-mediocre direct-to-video cartoon that would be largely forgotten outside a modest following of furries.

 

12. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

2008

D: Steven Spielberg

It would have been a fun, gonzo Indiana Jones-inspired movie, and the sanitization would not have been an issue.  Especially since it disappoints on the promise of Indy’s killing commies.

11. Alien Resurrection

1997

D: Jean-Pierre Jeunet

It’s an off-beat, tongue-in-cheek sci-fi movie with some interesting ideas.  The genre-bending decision may seem understandable if you consider how well that worked with Aliens.  Unfortunately, it didn’t fit the franchise.  As a stand-alone, it could have been like the movie Fifth Element should have been.

 

10. Terminator 3

2003

D: Jonathan Mostow

Same thing as Crystal Skull.  Would have worked better as a parody of Terminator 2 or a T2-inspired work of passable hackery with good action and comic relief.  Not to mention its depressing fatalism could have also been avoided.

 

9. RoboCop 2

1990

D: Irvin Kershner

I like the cyberpunk atmosphere, stop-motion, and ultraviolence.  However, Kershner was unable to strike that subtle tongue-in-cheek tone that Verhoeven could, and the movie was a total farce that did not do justice to the original.

8. Alien³

1992

D: David Fincher

Heck, it would have been a great movie if not for the depressing deaths of Hicks (if you don’t buy this absurdly contrived retcon) and Newt.  At least, unlike T3, it respected us too much to pretend it could be fun after giving the previous movie a depressing retcon.

 

7. The Star Wars Prequels

1999, 2002, 2005

D: George Lucas

George Lucas’ intentional homage to the days of silent film serials would have worked as such if he made them separate from the original trilogy.  Whether he liked or not, Episodes IV-VI had developed into more conventionally well-made movies.  If it his original vision was different, he should have started over with a clean slate.  If the prequels had not tainted the franchise, more people (including myself) would enjoy them as the enjoyable schlock that they are.

6. Star Trek Into Darkness

2013

D: J.J. Abrams

I seem to be in the minority in thinking that this was the only remotely watchable Star Trek reboot.  The plot would work perfectly well without connections to the franchise; in fact, it would even work better.  The only real flaw with the movie was its forced homages to Wrath of Khan in the third act.  Also the whitewashing of Khan wouldn’t have been an issue.  It would have been seen as a solid, fun space movie, and it kinda is. 

5. Pain and Gain

2013

D: Michael Bay

This would be a hilarious dark crime-comedy if not for one thing.  It was based on a true story, which makes it kinda tasteless.  In an interesting twist on the sadly common Oscar bait tactic of demonizing real people for “dramatic effect,” it makes the victims out like assholes so we can find the Sun Gym Gang’s crimes amusing.  Meanwhile, the gang members, which the exception of Lugo, are depicted as lovable bumblers who were dragged along by him. 

 

4. “Transformers”

2007

D: Michael Bay

Vulgar and utterly contemptuous of its source material.  Even if it wasn't an adaptation it would be a passable popcorn movie at best.  Click the link if you want more details.

3. Super Mario Bros.

1993

D: Rocky Morton, Annabel Jankel

A fun, campy, visually interesting movie with two likable protagonists and a sense of humor.  At least that’s what it would be if it wasn’t based on Mario.  It takes a special kind of obliviousness to make a Mario live-action cyberpunk movie with humans playing all the non-human characters.

2. The Dark Knight Rises

2012

D: Christopher Nolan

This would have been a perfectly fine movie if not for the pretense that it had anything to do with Batman.  In fact, the biggest movie’s biggest flaw (Bruce Wayne’s insultingly quick recovery from having his freaking back broken) seemed like an attempt to shoehorn an iconic moment from the comics into an incompatible plot.  Moreover, while I don’t mind the alleged well-deserved dig at OWS, I believe politics should be kept out of the franchise.   

1. Batman Returns

1992

D: Tim Burton

I already went on about this movie at length, calling it one of my favorite bad movies.  However, without the absurdly out-of-character depiction of the Penguin and some lethal acts of violence from Batman, this would movie would literally be on the par with Batman (1989) and The Dark Knight (2008) as a great Batman movie.  If it would wasn’t a Batman movie, it would be on the par with Batman and Edward Scissorhands (1990) highly among Burton’s masterpieces.