Bond Books Ranked

While the Bond books lack many of the memorable visual gimmicks of the movies, they tend to be quick reads, while the latter are slow watches. I’ve pointed out before that I’m not the biggest fan of many of the “classic” Bond movies: the characterization tends to be weak, the action is dated, and the often pacing is unjustifiably sluggish. I’d like to say they make me know what it feels like to not like genre fiction, but not really because I’m bored despite the cool stuff, not because of it. Ian Fleming’ sharp, dry wit helps as well. One thing I will point out is that the books’ version of M is my favorite: a crusty old man with a jaded military experience that makes him amusingly flippant. Also of note is how fire the cover art for most of these books are, with Richard Chopping as the dominant artist.

I have not read some of the short stories, and I admit there are a couple on this list I don’t have the best memories of.

 

 

12. The Spy Who Loved Me

1962

Fleming intended this story to be a more explicit cautionary tale about how you’re supposed to view Bond, but instead it comes off like a bad self-shipping fanfic with an unlikable female protagonist named Vivienne Michel. Fleming makes up a story in the introduction about how he was given the draft from a female fan, who had apparently been lucky enough to get her notice-me-senpai an official release simply because it was the early 60's and bad fanfics had not been fully established as cringe yet. Classic case of a creator’s getting frustrated with people’s misreading of his work and throwing all subtlety to the wind only to fail at that (people actually think the book was an expression of perversion based on Viv's assertion that everyone likes being semi-raped). Fleming seemed disappointed enough to ask that the film adaptation only use the title, and the result ended being one of the best films of the series, setting the trend of good luck involving Bond titles that are inspired by tangential Fleming lore (the movie even changes the title character). I suppose its deconstructive nature somewhat justifies it. That Bond is not supposed to be a sympathetic role model improves the reading of these books, especially the next entry…

WINNER: MOVIE

 

11. Moonraker

1955

The movie is one of the lesser entries: an inaccurate attempt to ride the coattails of Star Wars that only succeeds in imposing upon one the subjectivity of the type of joyless Puritan who does not like Star Wars. The book is a little more down to earth. The villain, Hugo Drax, is a German refugee from World War II posing as a philanthropist who is willing to provide Britain with the rocket technology needed for ballistic missiles, but is secretly planning to nuke London with warheads donated by the Soviets. Bond’s first major confrontation with this communazi arises from an amusing chapter punchline in which M vaguely grumbles about how Drax cheats at cards after an exposition dump about the character. Bond, having been taught this subtle art by a card shark, finds out that Drax’s strategy is just dealing over a reflective surface in plain view (when Drax demands how he was found out, Bond simply deadpans, "My eyes"). The plot is engaging, the wit is good, and this book would be one of the better ones if not for Bond’s questionable answer to a Trolley Problem at the end. He initially intends to sacrifice himself in order to sabotage the missiles armed to launch, but Gala Brand convinces him to redirect them to the sea, killing only a few innocent people instead of millions. The book also contains an interesting in memoriam for a contemporary disaster.

WINNER: BOOK

10. Diamonds Are Forever

1956

One of the more fun classic Bond movies whose camp does work (it helps that it’s a Connery Bond), but the book is relatively bland. No gay hitmen, none of the cool SPECTRE stuff. Just a wannabe-cowboy millionaire villain.

WINNER: MOVIE

 

9. The Man with the Golden Gun

1965

The book starts off with an intriguing follow-up to You Only Live Twice: Bond attempts to assassinate M after having been brainwashed by SMERSH because just bumbled into Russia to sort out his amnesia. After being de-brainwashed by MI6, he is sent out to assassinate SMERSH collaborator Fransisco Scaramanga. One could say the book misses the opportunity to capitalize on the paranoia of Bond’s being brainwashed twice, but then again the tragedy is that Bond just goes with it. It’s a tough call since the movie contains a lot of what I hate about the Roger Moore era, plus the infamous JW Pepper, but also has Christopher Lee, Nick-Nack, a lot of cool gimmicks. 

WINNER: MOVIE

 

8. Thunderball

1961

I don’t remember much about this book outside its general plot, but I generally found the movie to be dull and slow in spite of some cool visuals. 

WINNER: BOOK

 

7. Live and Let Die

1954

The book lacks some of the cooler aspects of the movie like Geoffrey Holder’s Baron Samedi and this scene. Tee-Hee is also a more generic character in the book. On the other hand it lacks the movie’s typical Roger Moore era flaws, particularly JW and the tortuously long 20-minute boat chase.

WINNER: BOOK 

 

6. Casino Royale

1953

An intriguing premiere that’s outdone by a great movie that features more plot, characterization, action, and some (strangely coincidental) detective work.

WINNER: MOVIE

 

5. Goldfinger

1959

Contains a surprisingly good amount of what made the movie cool while establishing the trend of Bond’s foiling villains’ plans of being bad at card-cheating and somehow getting away with it. Perhaps I should reconsider my criticism of the obvious Ted Tuner/Ruper Murdoch references in Tomorrow Never Dies since Fleming went and literally named one of his most iconic villains after an architect he didn’t like. The again, I may have a soft spot for Brutalism, but Trellick Tower is an overrated building even among Brutalism fans whose mangy appearance invites the obvious alliteration). The elements are there, only to be enhanced by the film. The DB III had some practical gadgets and was improved upon by the DB5. The book’s circular saw is replaced by a laser. One strange thing about the book is that, for no apparent reason other the meta consideration that they are associated with this story’s villain, Bond has an inexplicable hatred for Koreans. Overall the book is witty and lacks the typical flaws of an earlier Bond movie.

WINNER: BOOK 

4. On Her Majesty’s Secret Service

1963

A solid continuation of the Blofeld trilogy. The movie isn’t so bad, despite George Lazenby’s struggle to succeed Connery. My one complaint is that MI6 finds out about Blofeld’s plan, which involves exploiting the naivete of liberal white women, because our villain had the bright idea of having a side quest in which he uses his real name to find out if he was nobility in some egomaniacal reason.

WINNER: BOOK

 

3. You Only Live Twice

1964

The movie may have its cool, iconic visuals, but it also has the typical flaws of an old Bond movie (I must agree with my friend's assertion that Austin Powers is an example of a spoof that is far better than the original movie). The culture contrast between Bond and Tanaka is developed better in the book as well, not that the movie completely forgot about Japanese culture. The book is a satisfying finale to the Blofeld Trilogy in which our villain gets a satisfying death (unlike in both movie continuities!). The story ends with Bond’s losing his memory and washing ashore to some local village, where he lives a simple life until his nagging memories drive him to search for the truth. Unfortunately, he decides that his best bet to find them is Russia…

WINNER: BOOK

 

2. From Russia, with Love

1957

While I found the movie a bit slow, this complaint does not apply to the book. The characters are far better developed to the point of actually being characters. Fleming originally planned to kill off Bond at the end here, but his ambiguous demise is repudiated by…

WINNER: BOOK

 

1. Dr No

1958

MI6 decides to ease Bond back into service after his difficult recovery from an almost-death in From Russia, with Love, while an MI6 agent fails to make his routine proof-of-life communique after getting assassinated in Jamaica. Assuming that the man just eloped with his secretary, MI6 figures it would a pretty chill mission so they send Bond. Bond thinks that doesn’t sound like his target and he turns out to be right. The plot plays out the same until Bond’s capture, in which he is sent through a torture chamber until he escapes and buries Dr. No under a giant pile of literal bat shit. This may seem somewhat less poetic than Dr. No’s death in the movie, in which his cybernetic hands lack the articulation to pull him to safety, but it’s surprisingly satisfying after what No put Bond through. Despite the lack of SPECTRE, it’s one of the few books that has more over-the-top style than the movie: the “Dragon” is more of more interesting design, and the Dr. No’s character design is definitely more out there. 

WINNER: BOOK

   

Dr. No's design in James Bond, Jr. is arguably more
accurate to the book than that of the movie.