10th Anniversaries, Pt 3

 

Grindhouse

2007

D: Quentin Tarantino, Robert Rodriguez, et al.

**********

Pros: Great Grindhouse Style, Well-Executed Violence

Cons: Two Individually Flawed Movies

       Quentin Tarantinio and Robert Rodriguez have always been avid fans of trashy 70’s B-Movies, and Grindhouse represents their ultimate love letter to them.  It’s a double feature with a full-length movie by each director with vintage animated bumpers and various fake trailers contributed by some guest filmmakers Edgar Wright, Eli Roth, and Rob Zombie.  The double feature consistently uses low-budget practical effects, heavy gore, and intentionally worn picture quality. 

      Both features earn their R-Rating through copious amounts of violence, but the sex scenes are edited out through fake “missing reel” segments.  This is bad if you’re a horndog with no sense of humor.  It also could be interpreted as a commentary on the double standard between depiction of sex vs. violence in movies.  

The features in order are:

1. FAKE TRAILER- MACHETE

D: Robert Rodriguez

Starring Danny Trejo as an action hero.  Rodriguez wrote the movie in 1993, and the fake trailer later motivated him to make the full feature in 2010.  The trailer stars Cheech Marin and Jeff Fahey.

2. FEATURE – PLANET TERROR

Planet Terror

D: Robert Rodriguez

**********

Pros: Well-Done violence, Grindhouse Style, Humor

Cons: Depressing Child Death, One Unlikeable Heroine

       With this zombie spoof, Robert Rodriguez pulls out all the stops.  The violence is over-the-top, with gory body explosions and the biggest blood squibs I’ve seen until Django Unchained.  Unlike most of these midnight movies, it keeps the action going.  Special effects are mostly practical, except for well-done CGI on Cherry Darling’s (Rose McGowan) M-16 leg.  I was wondering how they pulled that off, considering the directors’ bias for practical effects.  Sometimes that kind of misdirection is the best kind of effect.  Humor is more campy than witty, and the style is more exaggerated than it is in Death Proof, with an even scratchier picture and a stereotypical film burnout (for all I know it could be what that actually looks like, I’ve never seen one).  The missing reel humorously cuts straight to a third-act battle scene, skipping many important plot points.  Planet Terror has a memorable score made by Rodriguez and Graeme Revelle, and stars Stacey Ferguson, Quentin Tarantino, and Tom Savini.

     The movie stars Rose McGowan as Cherry Darling, a go-go dancer whose leg is ripped off by a zombie and replaced with an M-16.  She and the heroic Earl Wray (Freddy Rodriguez) fight off a zombie plague triggered by the release of a chemical caused by Dr. Abbington (Naveen Andrews) and an elite military group led by Lt. Muldoon (Bruce Willis).  The chemical spreads across the area, forcing the heroes to escape form a bar owned by JT Hague (Jeff Fahey) and his sheriff brother (Michael Biehn).  The movie is action-packed, funny, and stylish.

      The one thing that ruins the movie’s quality, reducing it to a mere guilty pleasure, is the character arc involving Dr. Dakota Block (Marley Shelton).  Married to Dr. William Block (Josh Brolin), she’s been cheating on him with other women.  We’re supposed to automatically dislike the cuckholded husband, and Dakota’s father Texas Ranger Earl McGraw (Michael Parks) always disapproved of their marriage, knowing he was a bad man.  However, Dr. Block doesn’t really do anything wrong until the moment he attacks Dakota halfway through the film.  As if Dakota wasn’t unsympathetic enough, she later irresponsibly hands her young child (Rebel Rodriguez) a gun to shoot at any attacker while she leaves him alone.  Unfortunately, the boy almost immediately shoots himself, and that’s where the movie loses me.  I guess I draw this line at children, and I hate it when people can’t tell the difference between dark humor and depressing garbage.  If there was any character I wanted to see get hers, it was Dakota, but she frustratingly survives the movie.

3. FAKE TRAILER – WEREWOLF WOMEN OF THE SS

D: Rob Zombie

A parody of Nazisplotation movies starring Udo Kier, Sheri Zombie, Andrew “Test” Martin, Oleg Prudius, and (hilariously) Nicolas Cage as Fu Manchu.

4. FAKE TRAILER - THANKSGIVING

D: Eli Roth

Feeling that Thanksgiving was an underrepresented holiday in the slasher genre, Eli Roth made this (the slasher is dressed up like a pilgrim).  It almost got Grindhouse an NC-17.  It stars Jordan Ladd, Michael Biehn, Jay Hernandez, and Roth himself.  Mary Elizabeth Winstead stars as a cheerleader played by her character in Death Proof.

5. FAKE TRAILER – DON’T   

D: Edgar Wright

An affectionate parody of American trailers for Hammer Horror films.  The cast (which includes  Jason Isaacs, Simon Pegg, and Nick Frost) are never shown speaking, and a narration is provided by Will Arnett.

6. FEATURE – DEATH PROOF

D: Quentin Tarantino

**********

Pros: Grindhouse Atmosphere, Well-Executed Violence, Witty Dialogue, Good Cast, Clever Premise

Cons: Resolution Partially Ruined by Unlikeable Protagonists

A clever twist on the slasher genre in which the killer uses a death-proofed car to kill women, a premise which speaks of Tarantino’s love for old-style car effects.  It uses a wittier, more restrained style than Planet Terror, and it stays more faithful to old grindhouse features.  It takes a while to build up, but when the payoff occurs, it’s quite satisfying.  The car chase at the end is great, but the morally reprehensible act of setting up their friend for rape renders the heroines less sympathetic, and the movie’s resolution suffers for it.

7. FAKE TRAILER – HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN (CANADIAN RELEASE)

D: Jason Eisener

Later made into a full-length movie starring Rutger Hauer as as the hobo.

    

       The two feature films take different approaches.  Planet Terror is more exaggerated and action-packed, while Death Proof is more akin to a wittier version of a real grindhouse movie.  The double feature benefits from the variety in my opinion.  They both clearly take place in the same universe, with Planet Terror’s coming after Death Proof in continuity, but before it in the movie’s runtime.   Both movies are enjoyable, but each suffer from one fatal, frustrating flaw.  However, since Grindhouse is an experience in itself, the features’ individual quality can be forgiven, thus allowing me to call the Double Feature masterpiece.

 

DVD REVIEW

Grindhouse Double Feature

Pros: The Entire Double Feature on One Disc

Cons: Lacks Extra Footage from Uncut Versions

I was really upset when I found out that Grindhouse was not initially going to be released as the Double Feature we saw it as in the theatres.  No vintage bumpers, no fake trailers, just the movies.  I was also afraid that the humorous “missing reels” would be removed, robbing the films of their humor.  Fortunately, they finally came around and released the version they should have released in the first place.  The first disc is the entire double feature, trailers and all on one side of one disc (apparently not a given for long movies).  The movie comes with English and French tracks a commentary for Planet Terror.  Death Proof’s lack of commentary is not surprising considering the creator backlash it got.  The second disc is chock full of goodies like behind the scenes features and an extra fake trailer.   

     

QUOTES

[Crying after losing her leg]

CHERRY DARLING: Look at me!  I was going to be a stand-up comedian!  Who’s gonna laugh now?

EARL WRAY: Some of the best jokes are about cripples.  Come on.

CHERRY DARLING: Name's Cherry Darling...

EARL WRAY: Sounds like a stripper name.

CHERRY DARLING: No, it sounds like a go-go dancer name. There's a difference.

DR. FELIX: Viral infections. They came pouring in. Some are rapidly developing coliform leisions... highly contagious. What do you think?

DR. BLOCK: Self-preservation comes to mind.

[From Werewolf Women of the SS trailer]

NARRATOR: Featuring Udo Kier, Sheri Moon Zombie, Tom Towles, Sybil Danning, Bill Moseley, and Nicolas Cage…as…Fu Manchu.

NICHOLAS CAGE AS FU MANCHU: This is my Mecca! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[From the Thanksgiving trailer]

DEPUTY: [tasting blood from decapitated body]  It’s blood.

SHERIFF: Son of a bitch!

10th Anniversaries, Pt 2

 

Death Proof

2007

D: Quentin Tarantino

**********

Pros: Grindhouse Atmosphere, Well-Executed Violence, Witty Dialogue, Good Cast, Clever Premise

Cons: Resolution Partially Ruined by Unlikeable Protagonists

      Death Proof, one half of the Grindhouse double feature, seems to be the black sheep of Quentin Tarantino’s oeuvre.  It’s consistently listed as the worst of his films, and even Tarantino himself shares this opinion.  Most of the criticism focuses on the long, talky portions of the movie.  Personally, I think this is justified for a few reasons.  Death Proof, like its counterpart Planet Terror, is an homage to 70’s exploitation flicks, which often took their time with meandering conversation to fill out a feature length with limited effects budgets.  In addition to this, Tarantino’s tongue-in-cheek dialogue helps the movie remain watchable while the slow moments succeed in making the payoffs more effective when you get to them.  In fact, I tend to find this buildup preferable to some of the shorter, but more pointlessly long-winded, restaurant scenes I’ve seen in Tarantino films (lookin’ at you, Inglourious Basterds).

       Slasher movies tend to be a bit rigid in their premises.  Tarantino, however, gives us a very creative twist on the genre here.  A long-time fan of practical stunts and effects, he was fascinated by stuntmen’s practice of “death-proofing” cars so that they could survive stunts.  Therefore, he created a Stuntman Mike (Kurt Russell), a killer who murders women by ramming their cars in his own death-proofed muscle car.  A clever idea and an effectively meta love letter to the old ways of effects filmmaking. 

       The story begins with radio DJ Jungle Julia (Sydney Tamiia Poitier) celebrating her birthday with her friends Arlene (Vanessa Ferlito), Pam (Rose McGowan), Shanna (Jordan Ladd), and Lanna (Monica Staggs) at a bar tended by Warren (Quentin Tarantino).  Jungle Julia reveals that she has used her radio show to set up an asinine prank to shame Arlene into giving a lap dance to any stranger that reduces Robert Frost’s “Stopping by Woods on a Snow Evening” to a bad double entendre in her presence.  Stuntman Mike, who’s been stalking the girls, claims the lap dance.  Arlene is initially apprehensive, but Mike disarms her with his charming personality (and a John Wayne impression).  The moment the inevitability of said lap dance is effectively established, the movie humorously cuts to a blank screen informing the viewer of a missing reel (a common thing in cheap grindhouse theaters).  It then cuts back to the characters leaving the bar post-lap dance.  This moment is no doubt annoying if you’re a horndog with no sense of humor, but it’s not like your missing much with Unrated Cut’s lap dance.  It’s pretty PG-13, and the only memorable thing about it is that it’s set to a really good song.

       While Julia, Arlene, Pam, Shanna, and Lanna depart in one car, Pam hitches a ride with Mike.  After revealing that his 1971 Nova is only death-proofed for the driver’s side, he batters the unfastened Pam to death with the car’s cabin by driving swerving and braking suddenly.  He then dumps her body and pursues the other girls in their car.  Overtaking them, he turns around and rams them in a combined 200 mph head-on collision, turning his headlights on the exact moment before impact).  The crash is one of the few I’ve seen in a movie that depicts just how grisly a car accident can be.  Each woman’s ultraviolent death is preceded by her initial reaction to Mike’s headlights’ turning on at the last second.  Later, Mike is sent to the hospital, where we see cameos of three Planet Terror characters.  After teasing Dr. Dakota Block (Marley Shelton), Ranger Earl McGraw (Michael Parks) tells Ranger Edgar McGraw (Justin Parks) that Mike will not be charged because he was sober whereas the women were not.  He still has a hunch Mike murdered them, speculating that he does so as a sexual fetish.

      The movie then begins its second self-contained half (which is odd within a double feature) by introducing Abernathy Ross (Rosario Dawson), Kim Mathis (Tracie Thoms), Zoë Bell (Herself), and Lee Montgomery (Mary Elizabeth Winstead).  The second half also starts out chatty, but has subverts the expectations set by the first by having the conversations be more relevant.  In their first driving scene Kim chides Abernathy for not putting out enough to her boyfriend.  Aside from the creepy idea that she’s obligated to have sex with him, there’s apparently this odd rule I’m not familiar with.  After Abernathy tries to tell them he cheated on her on her birthday, the group tells her that she should forgive that just because he made a mix tape for her afterward.  Apparently even more so because this tape was in an obsolete medium.  Maybe Tarantino’s taking his retro-fetish a little too far.  The conversation may foreshadow something Abernathy does that’s even worse in terms of coerced sex on friends. 

      The group goes to test drive a 1970 Dodge Challenger owned by the shady Jasper (Jonathan Loughran) because it’s just like the one from Vanishing Point.  Zoë and Kim plan to do a “ship’s mast” on the car (it’s not as dirty as it sounds) while Abernathy and Lee wait with Jasper.  Seems reasonable, but this plan catches a hitch because Abernathy is a horrible person.  Despite not being a gearhead like her other two friends, she complains about be left out and talks them into taking her and leaving Lee alone with Jasper (who, by the way is the hospital rapist from Kill Bill).  With the consent of Kim and Zoë, she convinces the loutish hick that Lee is a porn star who will be happy to have sex with her.  And all this coming from someone who had the nerve to judge Kim for carrying a gun for self-defense (This provokes a great pro-gun rant from the latter.  Tarantino has a relatively heterodox view on the issue, and it’s a refreshing thing two see in a movie).  Rosario Dawson’s acting does make the scene kinda funny, offensive as it is.  Abernathy and Co. have basically set their “friend” up for a rape just so they can take a joy ride in a car, and this is what kinda ruins the movie for me.  By making the movie’s heroines people I can’t root for, Tarantino wrecked the premise of the movie’s second half, and cheapens the resolution to a victory of the lesser evil.  And the worst the women in the first half did was that lap dance dare, as well as general vapidity.   

     Still, the car chase that ensues when Mike attacks them in a 1969 Dodge Charger is very satisfying.  It’s suspenseful when he menaces them while Zoë is clinging to dear life on the hood of the Challenger from her stunt, and it’s pretty glorious to watch when the women turn the tables on Mike.  After Mike has had his fill of toying them he bids them farewell at a stop, and Kim shoots at him with a gun.  I could say the pro-gun message is a little poorly-executed since this only happens once a Mike is no longer a threat, but it’s amusing to watch Mike turn into a crying wreck when being wounded in his arm.  Unlike most slasher movies, which depict their antagonists as unstoppable forces, this movie wonderfully subverts the genre by revealing these predators to be what they are in real life: pathetic cowards.  After the women chase down Mike, they crash his car pull him out and hilariously start punching him until he drops, celebrating as the movie cuts to credits.  The delivery of this end would have been perfect had it not been for a brief shot after the blackout in which Abernathy, cementing her status as a hypocrite in regards to deadly force even further, kills Mike in cold blood by axe-kicking his face in.  I think the movie flew a little too close to the sun in that moment.

        The movie’s style is very good for what it is.  The scratchy picture is effective, without being as exaggerated as it is in Planet Terror.  Also, the “missing reels” are done with more restraint, in contrast with the more stereotypical execution of the other movie.  I’m not even sure that’s what a film burnout looks like, but I could be wrong.  The chases and stunts are very good, and one is set to pretty good music.  They all use practical effects and coherent editing.  Tarantino worked as cinematographer to great effect in this movie and he made good on his frustrations regarding most modern car chases.  There are also funny little touches, like Mike’s inexplicable fourth-wall breaking at one point, and his ducky hood ornament.  Another amusing moment is when the title screen shows an animated title card for “Thunderbolt,” only to have it instantly covered by a crudely plastered on “Death Proof” label. 

        The movie has its own little connections to the other Grindhouse films.  Even though it’s shown after Planet Terror, it clearly takes place before it.  At one point in Planet Terror we hear a brief In Memoriam on the radio for Jungle Julia.  The movie has cameos by Eli Roth, Marcy Harriell, Omar Doom, and Michael Baccal.  Also Lee Montgomery from the second half is the actress who plays the cheerleader in Eli Roth’s fake trailer for Thanksgiving.   This seems to show some inconsistent meta, though: a real-life movie in which a character is an actress in a movie that I just saw a trailer presented to me on the same plane of reality as the movie?  Still, I’d argue that Death Proof is the better half of Grindhouse.  While PlanetTerror is a gory romp that caricatures the grindhouse style, Death Proof is a wittier movie that is more faithful to the midnight movies it cherishes while doing a better job transcending them.  I’m sometimes not sure what’s better, a middling movie, or a mostly great movie with a nagging and normally fatal flaw.  I believe Death Proof is definitely the latter. 

QUOTES

PAM: Is it safe?

STUNTMAN MIKE: It’s better than safe.  It’s death-proof.

PAM: How do you make a car death-proof?

STUNTMAN MIKE: Well, that's what stuntmen do.  You've seen a movie where a car gets into some smash-up there ain't no way in hell anybody's walking away from?

PAM: Yeah.

STUNTMAN MIKE: Well, how do you think they accomplish that?

PAM: CGI.

STUNTMAN MIKE: Well, unfortunately, Pam, nowadays more often than not, you 're right. Tsk. But back in the all-or-nothin' days. Vanishing Point days, the Dirty Mary Crazy Larry days, the White Line Fever days... real cars smashing into real cars. Real dumb people driving 'em. So, give the stunt team the car you want to smash up, they take her and reinforce that fucker everywhere and, voila! You got yourself a death-proof automobile.

PAM: So how exactly does one become a stuntman?

STUNTMAN MIKE: Well, in Hollywood, anyone fool enough to throw themselves down a flight of stairs can usually find someone to pay them for it. But really, I got into the business the way most people get into the stunt business.

PAM: How's that?

STUNTMAN MIKE: My brother got me in it.

PAM: Who’s your brother?

STUNTMAN MIKE: Stuntman Bob.

STUNTMAN MIKE: Do I frighten you?

[Arlene nods]

STUNTMAN MIKE: Is it my scar?

ARLENE: It’s your car.

STUNTMAN MIKE: Yeah, I know.  I'm sorry.  It's my mom's car.

STUNTMAN MIKE: Well Pam, which way you goin' left or right?

PAM: Right.

STUNTMAN MIKE: Aw, that’s too bad.

PAM: Why?

STUNTMAN MIKE:  Well, because there was a fifty-fifty shot on whether you'd be going left.  You see, we're both going left.  You could have just as easily been going left too and if that was the case, it would have been awhile before you started getting scared.  But since you're going the other way, I'm afraid you're gonna have to start getting scared... immediately.

STUNTMAN MIKE:  Hey, Pam, remember when I said this car was death proof? Well, that wasn't a lie. This car is 100% death proof. Only to get the benefit of it, honey, you REALLY need to be sitting in my seat.

LEE: You carry a gun?

KIM: Uh-huh.

LEE: Do you have a license to carry it?

KIM: Yeah, when I became a Secret Service agent, they gave me a license.

LEE: Did you know Kim carried a gun?

ABERNATHY: Yes. Now, do I approve? No. Do I know? Yes?

KIM: Look, I don't know what futuristic utopia you live in, but the world I live in, a bitch need a gun.

ABERNATHY: You can't get around the fact that people who carry guns, tend to get shot more than people who don't.

KIM: And you can't get around the fact that if I go down to the laundry room in my building at midnight enough times, I might get my ass raped.

LEE: Don't do your laundry at midnight.

KIM: Fuck that! I wanna do my laundry whenever the fuck I wanna do my laundry.

ABERNATHY: There are other things you can carry other than a gun. Pepper spray.

KIM: Uh, motherfucker tryna rape me? I don't wanna give him skin rash! I wanna shut that n***** down!

ABERNATHY: How about a knife at least?

KIM: Yeah, you know what happens to motherfuckers carry knives? They get shot! Look, if I ever become a famous actress, I wont carry a gun. I'll hire me a do-dirt n*****, and he'll carry the gun. And when shit goes down, I'll sit back and laugh, but until that day, it's Wild West motherfucker!

 [The women pass some cows while chasing Stuntman Mike]

KIM: Moo, motherfucker, moo!

PAM: So what’s your name, Icy?

STUNTMAN MIKE: Stuntman Mike.

PAM: Stuntman Mike’s your name.

STUNTMAN MIKE: You ask anybody.

PAM: Hey, Warren, who is this guy?

WARREN: Stuntman Mike

PAM: And who the hell is Stuntman Mike.

WARREN: He’s a stuntman.

JUNGLE JULIA: I think you got Mike laid tonight.  Looking good, Cannonball Run!

PAM: He’s just giving me a ride

JUNGLE JULIA: Oh, no doubt.

ARLENE: Have a nice ride!

PAM:  Oh double-fucks.  I’m not gonna fuck him!

STUNTMAN MIKE: I can hear you!

PAM: He’s old enough to be my da…

STUNTMAN MIKE:  I can still hear you!

STUNTMAN MIKE: Be careful, my arm’s broken!

KIM: Oh, this one?

STUNTMAN MIKE: [high-pitched scream]

EARL McGRAW: I'm gonna' tell you like The LORD told John: If he ever does it again, I can be goddamn sure he don't ever do it again in Texas.

[movie cuts to Lebanon, TN title card]

JASPER: Why’s she dressed like that?

ABERNATHY: Well, you see, we're making a Hollywood movie in town, and it's a cheerleading movie and she's one of the cheerleaders.

JASPER: What’s a cheerleading movie?

ABERNATHY: A movie about chearleaders.

JASPER: Is it a porno movie?

ABERNATHY: …YES.

WARREN: Chartreuse! The only liquor so good they named a color after it!

Oscars 2017

It’s that time of year again.  We can’t stop talking about the Oscars even when we know it’s a remarkably irrelevant awards ceremony.  It just gives us an excuse to critique their choices while giving our takes on which movies deserved which awards.  I certainly have no intention of watching it this year because of the increased chance of sitting through some insufferably sanctimonious political rants.  Maybe they’ll give Meryl Streep another one just so she can give another mindlessly conceited screed about how millionaire celebrities are the real victims in society.

This year kinda makes wish this ceremony had an award for Best Scene because we all know which one should win that.

BEST PICTURE

Arrival, Fences, Hacksaw Ridge, Hell or High Water, Hidden Figures, La La Land, Lion, Manchester by the Sea, Moonlight

I’ve only seens three of these movies (Arrival, Hacksaw Ridge, Hell or High Water), so I don’t know what would be right here.  My favorite movie of 2016 so far was either 13 Hours or 10 Cloverfield Lane. If there’s anything that would make sitting through the Oscars this year tempting, it’s the off-chance that they might award Arrival.  Part of me wants to be there when The Academy finally awards Best Picture to a sci-fi film, even if it’s a pretty meaningless gesture at this point.  Hacksaw Ridge was pretty good, but it wasn’t Gibson’s best work.  I seem to be the only person who thinks Hell or High Water was a blandly competent No Country wannabe. 

BEST DIRECTOR

Denis Villenue (Arrival), Mel Gibson (Hacksaw Ridge), Damien Chazelle (La La Land), Kenneth Lonergan (Manchester by the Sea), Barry Jenkins (Moonlight)

I’ve only seen two of these movies.  Denis Villenue is a deserving choice, though I’d hate to see his making a terrible speech.  I intend to see more movies from him.  I liked Hacksaw Ridge, but it didn’t seem to have the edge that Gibson’s previous films did (besides he already won this award).  As much as I’d hate to admit it, I thought 13 Hours was a rare example of Michael Bay’s style used effectively. 

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

Mahershala Ali (Moonlight), Jeff Bridges (Hell or High Water), Lucas Hedges (Manchester by the Sea), Dev Patel (Lion), Michael Shannon (Nocturnal Animals)  

I was particularly disappointed that they did not nominate John Goodman for 10 Cloverfield Lane.  It seems that the Academy tends to overlook experienced, overdue actors in favor of new blood, even though the latter has plenty of time to win.  While I haven’t seen most of the movies in this category, I know they could have sacrificed Jeff Bridges’ role to make room.   As much as I like Bridges, his role in Hell or High Water was the same Southerner type he’s been playing a lot lately.  In fact, he already won his Oscar for that same type of performance in Crazy Heart.  Sorry, John Goodman, fat people don’t get Oscars.

I also think Hugo Weaving (Hacksaw Ridge) is overdue, as well.

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

Hell or High Water (Taylor Sheridan), La La Land (Damien Chazelle), The Lobster (Yorgos Lanthimos and Efthimis Filippou), Manchester by the Sea (Kenneth Lonergan), 20^th Century Women (Mike Mills)

Again, haven’t seen most of them.  I’m not sure The Lobster should be on this year’s list since it’s a 2015 movie.

BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT

Extremis, 4.1 Miles, Joe’s Violin, Watani: My Homeland, The White Helmets

Extremis and 4.1 Miles are both very poignant movies, while Joe’s Violin is heartwarming.  I haven’t gotten a chance to see Watani or White Helmets.  I’m pretty sure one of the ones about Syria are going to win, justifiably so.  It’s a real tragedy that’s going on there, and it’s shameful we’re refusing refugees from an area we destabilized while Europe does most of that work.  Not that The Left is totally off the hook here. 

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM

Kubo and the Two Strings, Moana, My Life as a Zucchini, The Red Turtle, Zootopia

I haven’t seen My Life as a Zucchini or Red Turtle, but Kubo is the best of the ones I’ve seen.  I wouldn’t be surprised if Zootopia wins just for being more “important” than the others.  I will point out that I do not agree with the existence of this category.  An award should be made for Best Direction of an Animated Movie (a different job from directing a live-action movie), while the animated films should compete for Best Picture if they are worthy.

BEST ANIMATED SHORT FILM

Blind Vaysha, Borrowed Time, Pear Cider and Cigarettes, Pearl, Piper

I haven’t seen Pear Cider, and Borrowed Time was the best of the ones I’ve seen.

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE

Jackie (Mica Levi), La La Land (Justin Hurwitz), Lion (Dustin O’Halloran and Hauschka), Moonlight (Nicholas Britell), Passengers (Thomas Newman)

La La Land had a nice, understated, and heartfelt score, but the one I’m rooting for out of the nominees is Passengers.  I think Bear McCready’s score for 10 Cloverfield Lane was deserving.  I would have preferred if Michael Giacchino get an overdue Oscar for his excellent Star Trek theme or his score for Doctor Strange.

BEST ORIGINAL SONG

“Audition” (La La Land), “City of Stars” (La La Land), “Can’t Stop the Feeling!” (Trolls), “The Empty Chair” (Jim: The James Foley Story), “How Far I’ll Go” (Moana)

“Audition” is the one I’m rooting for out of the nominees, but there were some blatant snubs from the Moana soundtrack.  They ignored much better songs from that movie and went with the generic “I Want”Song.  “Can’t Stop the Feeling!” is the most WTF nomination in this category since “Everything Is Awesome.”  If they wanted to go pop, why didn’t they nominate “Try Everything” from Zootopia?

You might even say they were TROLLING us.

BEST SOUND EDITING

Arrival, Deepwater Horizon, Hacksaw Ridge, La La Land, Sully

I wish The Nice Guys was nominated for this award.

BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN

Arrival, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, Hail, Caesar!, La La Land, Passengers

Pretty good variety here.  I’m rooting for Hail, Caesar!

BEST COSTUME DESIGN

Allied, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, Florence Foster Jenkins, Jackie, La La Land

It’s funny how genre films provide us with so many creative, iconic designs, and the Academy is like “ZOMG 40’s CLOTHES!!!!!!”

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS

Deepwater Horizon, Doctor Strange, The Jungle Book, Kubo and the Two Strings, Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

 Deepwater Horizon’s effects worked in a gritty way, and Doctor Strange showed us some old-school acid trip visuals in CGI for the first time.  The Jungle Book’s looked imperfect and overhyped.  I loved Kubo’s animation, but I’m not sure it belonged in a live-action category.  It’s a given at this point that Star Wars movies have good special effects.