Ridley Scott Movies Ranked

A director most well-known for his impressive and atmospheric cinematography (which seems to be copied ad nauseam nowadays, even he has been reduced to mostly digital mockeries of his own style).  There are actually only a few greats on here; half of these movies are rather middling.  I’ve heard Alien: Covenant is decent but missable.  I don’t really feel like dragging my big, fat dragon butt to the theater to see it anyway. 

17. Robin Hood

2010

**********

Boring garbage.  I find it hard to accept any version of Robin Hood in which he’s not an anthropomorphic fox, but this movie completely misses the fun, swashbuckling point of the legend.  The only good parts were this scene and a beautiful end credits sequence.  Originally there was a much more interesting premise that was scrapped, and it was clear they had no real idea what else to do. 

 

16. Prometheus

2012

**********

This movie may have great effects and cinematograpy, but it combined insufferable pretentiousness with B-movie stupidity.  David (Michael Fassbender) is the only character whose motivations and actions make sense.  He’s like the only person in the movie.  The other characters are like really dumb animals.  At least it wasn't boring like Robin Hood.

15. Kingdom of Heaven

2005

**********

Inaccurate and muddled in its motivations.  I’ve heard the Director’s Cut is much better, but I don’t have enough interest to check it out.

14. Thelma and Louise

1991

**********

It has a good cast and some amusing moments, but unfortunately the “feminist” story is about to women who make a mistake and moronically dig their hole deeper by runing away from the authorities.  It also dragged a bit.

  

 

13. Hannibal

2001

**********

Not as bad as everybody says, but not exactly a classic.

 

12. Body of Lies

2008

**********

One of those bland movies that mistakes aimless cynicism for profundity.

 

11. American Gangster

2007

**********

Pretty decent movie, but not much to write home about.

  

 

10. Black Rain

1989

**********

It’s enjoyable enough for Ridley Scott’s amazing cinematography.  It looks like a real-world version of Blade Runner.  Despite the visuals, it’s pretty much a rigidly formulaic and predictable cowboy cop movie that kinda drags on.

 

9. Legend

1985

**********

It may not have the best story or writing, but I think this is the best-looking fantasy movie I’ve seen.  The villain is well played by Tim Curry, even though he’s a bit of a dumbass, and it has some good, whimsical side characters, like the dwarves and Honeythorn Gump.  The protagonists are a bit bland, and the move drags quite a bit.

8. All the Invisible Children: Jonathan

2005

**********

Scott’s contribution to this anthology about child exploitation is intriguingly symbolic and abstract.

 

7. The Counselor

2013

**********

An interesting collaboration between the director and Cormac McCarthyl  Although it does get a bit smutty at times, it’s a pretty underrated movie.

 

6. The Martian

2015

**********

A good, funny movie with an optimistic portrayal of space exploration.  Matt Damon is lovably smarmy, and the comic relief really helps make the movie fun.  I’m not sure I can remove Scott from this list, though.  The film is visually generic and has little directorial vision.  It mostly seemed like a competent execution of a good script with a solid cast (think Brett Ratner and Red Dragon).

 

5. The Duellists

1977

**********

Good story, good humor and amazing cinematography.  This movie deserves credit for being Ridley Scott’s directorial debut.  Too bad it’s relatively forgotten.  Some directorial debuts are deservedly forgotten (The Coens’ Blood Simple), but this one needs some attention.

 

4. Black Hawk Down

2001

**********

Saving Private Ryan set a new standard for war movies, and this film does a great job following up without a contrived plot.  There are a couple moments that bug the shit out of me, though.  There’s one amazingly dramatic moment from the event revolving around the first confirmed American KIA.  Accounts refer to all this chaotic background chatter that made communications hard, but when that one guy says, “He’s dead”…DEAD SILENCE.  Despite being lucky enough to have this given to them on a silver platter, they still figured out away to mess it up.  I also heard one account describing a Little Bird pilot flying his helicopter with one hand and shooting at people with an MP5 with another; I didn’t know how that didn’t make the cut.

3. Gladiator

2000

**********

This modern-day Ben-Hur is Scott at his best.  It has great acting, great characters, visceral action, beautiful cinematography and one of the best movie scores I’ve ever heard.  Probably inspired a few swords and sandals action movies, but none of them came close to being as good.  One of the few Best Picture winners in recent years that actually deserved it.  There seems to be a baffling backlash against this movie recently.  I guess some people just don't like awesomeness.

2. Alien

1979

**********

Amazing visuals and suspense.  It works as a horror movie because the actions of most of the characters make sense.  Still effective even if you know the twist.

1. Blade Runner

1982

**********

With its dark atmosphere, great score, complex storytelling and amazing visuals, this is one of the best sci-fi movies ever made and my second favorite movie.  The ultimate cyberpunk film.  Unfortunately the original theatrical version had laughably cheesy pseudo-noir narration from Harrison Ford, but this has been fixed by the Director’s Cut and subsequent editions.

Average: 6.5

BONUS ROUND!
Movies Ranked by Visual Style

17. Thelma and Louise
16. American Gangster
15. Body of Lies
14. The Martian
13. The Counselor
12. All the Invisible Children: Jonathan 
11. Hannibal
10. Kingdom of Heaven
9. Robin Hood
8. Black Hawk Down
7. Prometheus
6. The Duellists
5. Gladiator
4. Black Rain
3. Alien
2. Legend
1. Blade Runner
 

Episode Reviews - SatAM

SEASON 1

The strongest season.  Established the show effectively.  One thing that annoys me is that many of the episode titles are random puns based on “Sonic” and aren’t very helpful in identifying the episode.

Pilot 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

“Heads or Tails” “Sonic Boom” (the one with Cat) “Sonic and Sally” (the one in which Robotnik creates a robotic copy of Sally) “Ultra Sonic” “Sonic and the Secret Scrolls” “Super Sonic” (the one with Lazar) “Sonic Racer” “Hooked on Sonics” (the one in which Antoine almost ruins everything for everybody) “Harmonic Sonic” (the one with the satellite) “Sonic’s Nightmare” “Warp Sonic” (the one with Griff) “Sub-Sonic” (the most environmentalist one) “Sonic Past Cool” (the one with the dinosaur-things)

SEASON 2

Had more of a continuity leading up to the finale, but it ended way too abruptly.  Also, it had sillier animation, and Robotnik’s voice unfortunately lost the creepy echo.

1 2 3 4-5 6a 6b 7 8 9a 9b 10 11 12 13

“Game Guy” “Sonic Conversion” “No Brainer” “Blast to the Past” “Fed Up with Antoine” (the one in which Antoine joins a gang) “Ghost Busted” “Dulcy” “The Void” “The Odd Couple” (the one in which Sonic has to share a room with Antoine) “Ro-Becca” “Cry of the Wolf” “Drood Henge” “Spy Hog” “The Doomsday Project”

10th Anniversaries, Pt. 4

 

Sonic the Hedgehog

1993-4

**********

Pros: Decent Animation, Good Voice Acting, Dark Atmosphere, Emotional Subject Matter

Cons: Has Its Share of Plot Holes, Some Annoying Moments, Mildly Derivative, Antoine

Episode Reviews

       Sonic the Hedgehog has had more than his fair share of cartoon adaptations.  Despite the multiple attempts that range from mediocre-to-passable, there was one that ended up being truly worthwhile.  This show, often called SatAM (Saturday AM) to distinguish itself from  a more light-hearted Sonic cartoon that aired during the week, set itself apart with its serious tone.  For the most part, cartoons didn’t take themselves particularly seriously, and many of the more serious ones lacked characterization. 

      I only had vague memories of watching this show from early childhood.  I might have seen it once or twice at some kid’s house, but it had a bit of an effect on me even though I spent my youth watching Power Rangers (mea culpa).  I always remembered that there was this one dark show about Sonic.  Even when my family got cable, I knew the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog wasn’t it, mostly because SatAM’s theme song imprinted into my brain and remained there like a mysterious siren song.  It wasn’t until I was 20, a college student with internet access, did I finally discover this show in earnest.  A cartoon I mostly watched as an adult with minimal nostalgic influence impressed me.  In fact, I went through a bit of an embarrassing SatAM/Archie Sonic fanboy phase for a while.  Fortunately, I think I’ll be more objective in my assessment now.

      The show has been criticized for its alleged faithlessness to the show’s subject matter, but there really wasn’t much story to the games when Sonic 2 came out.  The stylized environments and badniks were toned down in favor of a more typical cyberpunk setting, but it was still about a fast blue hedgehog named Sonic (Jaleel White) who fought an evil scientist named Dr. Robotnik (Jim Cummings), who turned animals into robots.  Tails is also in the show, but he’s depicted as a child who mostly stays in the safety of the good guys’ headquarters.  If anything, the show adds more with its solid cast of characters.  Sonic is a member of the Knothole Freedom Fighters, who are led by Princess Sally Acorn (Kath Soucie), who is also Sonic’s love interest.  I like how Sonic is depicted a character with a dark past which he hides behind a positive façade, and his romance with Sally is well executed.  One of my favorite parts of the show is watching them bicker like a married couple.  Other members include a half-roboticized Bunnie Rabbot (Christine Cavanaugh), a cowardly French stereotype Antoine Depardieu (Rob Paulsen), and tech expert Rotor (Mark Ballou).  Sally also possesses a sentient computer named NICOLE (Soucie), a keepsake from her estranged father (Tim Curry)  In the second season Dulcy the Dragon (Cree Summer) was inexplicably added, and Ballou was replaced with Cam Brainard.  Other cells of Freedom Fighters are led by Griff (James Marsden), Lupe (Shari Bellafonte), and Ari (Dorian Harewood).   

        The real star of the show was Dr. Julian Robotnik.  Most of the cartoons of my youth portrayed the villains as ineffectual, but Robotnik was a different story.  While most villains have trouble taking over the world, he has already taken over by earning the trust of King Acorn (Tim Curry) and enacting a coup years before the events of the show.  He ravages the world with pollution and subjects every inhabitant to roboticization, a horrifying process that transforms people into robots who can only do his bidding (the poor souls are completely aware of it the whole time).  He is aided by his nephew Snively (Charlie Adler), whom he abuses mercilessly.  The only being he treats with any compassion is his pet robotic chicken Cluck.  Meanwhile, the protagonists, despite being children had to learn to grow up fast while conducting guerrilla warfare from a hideout in the mostly untouched forest that resembles an abandoned Googie apartment complex.

The Ancients had very strange ways.

Our heroes have to struggle with only Pyrrhic victories to show for it most of the time.  Sometimes survival is what passes for a win.  Often they have to make heartbreaking concessions, especially when it comes to reuniting with their loved ones.  Sally and Sonic were both estranged from parental figure during the coup, with Sonic’s having to witness his Uncle Chuck’s (William Windom) roboticization.  On top of that, they also have to be parents to young Tails while they themselves are just teens.  There are a few moments when characters (including Sonic himself, much to Sega of Japan’s chagrin) break down and cry.  With these daringly dark themes, it’s no surprise that this cartoon has gained a respectable cult following.

       It was really refreshing to see some serious story-telling especially from a cartoon.  I definitely do not agree with most people that the classic toon style is inappropriate for it.  Characters drawn this way are expressive, and the artwork is animation-friendly enough without looking lazy.  It’s too effective a style to be relegated to gag cartoons.  Still, there are some flaws in the character designs.  Like many anthropomorphic cartoons it has a mild form of Furry Dimorphism, in that one sex (usually the fairer one) is clearly drawn to be more attractive that the other.  Most of the time the female characters will have svelte humanoid bodies while the males will have less detailed, and in some cases it’s really bad.  While the show is satisfied in drawing Sonic with rubber hose anatomy, Sally has a curvaceous form.  Unfortunately this form isn’t compatible to some aspects of the art style.  While she’s not drawn offensively (she’s no more nude than Sonic or tails), her body shape makes her nudity look more distracting.  Absurdly, this artwork issue is taken as an excuse by many to hate the character.  Also it doesn’t work with her proportions, and she looks like she has hydrocephalus.  Despite this issue, the artwork is mostly good.  The backgrounds are great, and the animation is decent despite DiC’s reputation. 

      The voice acting is also very good.  It has some the best animation voice actors of the time.  Sonic is voiced by Jaleel White of Urkel infamy, and it’s a mixed bag.  White’s voice is a bit grating, but it fits the character, and he emotes well when he needs to.  He does do a few annoying impressions occasionally.  The rest of the cast is great, but its true star is Jim Cummings.  It’s my favorite performance from possibly my favorite voice actor.  He voices Robotnik with smooth malevolence.  Unfortunately, the creepy vocoder effect was dropped in the second season.  Other cast members include Michael Bell and Frank Welker.

     But few shows are perfect.  Most of the children’s cartoons designed with more serious storylines are not airtight in terms of logic.  Off the top of my head, the only such cartoons that really hold up to adult scrutiny are Avatar: The Last Airbender and Batman: The Animated Series.  I’d say that SatAM is as solid as Harry Potter; it’s enjoyable, but it has its holes.  Episodes are hit-or-miss (the half-length standalone gag episodes are definitely misses), which warrants episode reviews in the future.  The biggest one is the Knothole Plothole.  It shouldn’t be too hard for Robotnik to find Knothole by simply extending his scorched earth policy toward the Forest, or through intelligence work.  In fact, he has roboticized many of Knothole’s freedom fighters, and since he can upload their memories into a computer (or simply ask them), he’d have no trouble gaining information from them.  Sometimes even the good guys do nonsensical things to maintain the status quo. 

      Another problem is that the show is perhaps a bit derivative.  Freedom Fighters, a cyberpunk setting, the works.  Princess Sally herself is vaguely familiar, as is her relationship with a smarmy protagonist.  However, if there is one work this show is the most like, it’s probably the 80’s scifi show Captain Power, which also involved freedom fighters in a post-apocalyptic cyberpunk environment. 

Apparently not the only time J. Michael Straczynski was ripped off.

Then again, considering how my favorite show is suspiciously similar to a forgotten 70’s sitcom, maybe that isn’t too bad.          

      Finally, there’s Antoine.  In a show that usually does a great job with complex protagonists, we have cowardly French stereotype.  Not that he doesn’t have his moments, but his panicked demeanor and idiocy almost spell doom for the Freedom Fighters multiple times.  That he’s still allowed to accompany the heroes on mission makes one Sally’s leadership skills.  In one of its few improvements over the show, the Archie comics actually develops him into a brave, complex character.  Shallow as it is, we do get some amusing moments from his buffoonery and Sonic’s reaction toward it.  The show and Rob Paulsen deserved a better character.  

        I'm not sure if I liked future plans for the show, though.  Secondary villain Ixis Naugus (Michael Bell) was going to be the primary villain after Robotnik's defeat at the end of Season 2, with Robotnik playing a subservient role to him.  Unfortunately, the show was cancelled after only two seasons due to poor ratings.  The finale is incredibly rushed, crammed into one single-part episode that ends with an ill-advised cliffhanger.  The president of ABC hated it for some reason, and it was sabotaged by being placed opposite to the wildly popular Power Rangers.  It was also bafflingly comdemned as “violent” by moral guardians at the time (dark themes aside, it “violent” was a stretch).  So SatAM has its flaws.  It wasn’t nearly as good as its contemporary Batman: The Animated Series, and Saturday Morning Cartoons have gotten better written since then, but it definitely was a trailblazer for the time.  It demonstrated that cartoons can be serious and emotional, let alone anthro cartoons.  It also stands as proof that Hollywood can make a decent game adaptation.  It’s also the best DiC cartoon I can think of.

 

DVD REVIEW

Sonic the Hedgehog: The Complete Series

2007

Above Average

Pros: Great Value, Special Features, Good Cover Art

Cons: Bad Cover Art, Questionable Packaging

     It was a good day for DVD’s ten years ago today (My Gosh, I’m getting old).  This was released on the same day as Children of Men, and I rushed to the store to buy both.  After dragging its feet with random episodes, the complete series was finally released in one fell swoop.  Four discs of an entire 2-season TV series for $20 was a great deal.  The DVD has a few good features, such as storyboards, scripts, concept art, and some  interviews with Jaleel White and writer Ben Hurst.

    As a nod to the fans, Shout! Factory asked them to contribute fanart for the covers.  The main slipcover is a grotesque picture done by Ken Penders that makes the characters look like they’re covered in donut glaze.  No matter, I prefer to dispense with the slip cover and simply stack the individual DVD cases, which have much better art, with the other DVDs.  The inside covers are peppered with absurdly shrunken fanart of varying levels of quality.  Questionably, they tried took two half-width DVD cases and tried to cram two discs into each of them.  It’s nearly impossible to shut them securely.