2019
D: J.J. Abrams
**********
Pros: Some Good Visuals, One D
ecent Payoff
Cons: Unearned Payoffs, Plot Structure, Sheev’s Back, Disappointing Action
I obviously didn’t expect much out of this movie, but J.J.'s reliability on at least delivering on the action encouraged me to check it out simply for the spectacle. Granted, I was so jaded at this point that I did not fall for the teases about 3PO and Dark Rey. Not only was it disappointing, it’s easily the worst movie in Star Wars canon. While The Last Jedi offends many fanboys for its mistreatment of the lore, this one offends basic filmmaking. Just thinking about TROS annoys me. It makes Rian’s contribution almost look like a cinematic masterpiece.
I have some thoughts to contribute, but first there’s a laundry list of common complaints I agree with. The pacing never lets you have a genuine character moment. The once-novel mystery box gimmick is now an excuse for lack of substance, and here it’s an absurd conga line of one MacGuffin after another. This lack of effective buildup makes the final action scene less epic than intended. Multiple unearned payoffs. Making out like they were going to kill off 3PO (Anthony Daniels), which goes nowhere, and his partial memory loss is treated like a lame joke. Finn (John Boyega) has nothing to do, and even gets a teased love interest with another former stormtrooper (Naomi Ackie), who just ends up getting taken by Lando (Billy Dee Williams). Poor guy can’t get a break. Sheev (Ian McDiarmid) is back, thus destroying everything everyone in the OT fought and died for (at least Dark Empire allowed Luke and Co. the opportunity to clean up). Zorii Bliss (Keri Russell) is a pointless character. The single-point failure the Star Destroyers in the last battle. Rey’s naming herself Skywalker despite her most meaningful interactions’ being with the Solos. The movie forfeits any potentially believable motivation for an Empire by writing a whole new Empire made up of a planet of secret brain-washed psychos. The list goes on.
Finn is an interesting case study. He was hyped up with a promising arc that turned out to be a lie, and by this movie he's primary role is shouting "Rey!" (note this hilarious moment in the trailer in which he's silently doing this while epic music plays). They reduced him to the level of a supporting character in Org's Odyssey.
I was also disappointed by Hux’s (Domhnall Gleeson) arc. The movie eventually reveals that he is a Resistance mole. This is great because it would explain the character’s apparent incompetence, and his expression during the destruction of the Hosnian System could be read as suppressed horror (an ambiguity similar to Obi-Wan’s face when he lies to Luke in ANH). Instead, he’s revealed to only be doing this for petty reasons, and is unceremoniously killed off soon after. It’s a waste of an actor.
The only payoff in the movie that worked is often read as a discrepancy: Luke’s (Mark Hamill) catching the lightsaber. It actually makes perfect sense in the context of his arc in TLJ, in which he han overcome his own cynicism. He intentionally refers to his own past action of throwing the lightsaber away while prevent Rey from doing the same. Then again, considering how inept Abrams seems to be, it's perfectly believable that this was an intentional jab at Rian's continuity. The one thing the the damn movie that works and it might just be an accident.
There are many attempts at awkward fanservice, including ideological ones in the form of a same-sex kiss that was courageously edited out for the Chinese market. At the end, Chewie (Joonas Suotamo) is gifted with the Medal he should have gotten in ANH. Apparently Abrams doesn’t realize that the complaint is that he should have gotten it in the first place; it was not something that could be fixed as an afterthought like that. It’s also cold comfort considering practically everyone Chewie ever cared about is now dead. The only one left besides the droids is Lando, and there are subtle body language cues in Peter Mayhew’s OT performance that indicate the Chewie may not have liked Lando very much.
The resolution makes no sense as Sheev wants Rey (Daisy Ridley) to kill him so he could possess her, but she kills him anyway. She’s now a Messianic being who possesses all of the powers of all the Jedi. This reinforces her Sue status despite the weak afterthought of actually having her make mistakes for the first time ever in the trilogy. It’s kinda clever that a good guy is descended from Sheev as well as being the ironic means of his defeat, but the execution is off to say the least. It's also disappointing that she constructs a new lightsaber after the movie's resolution, a milestone which should indicate her readiness for the final battle.
The action in the movie is disappointing, choppily edited and anticlimactic. The space battle lacks focus and specificity, as well as a coherent goal. The design element is worse than ever. The TIE Silencer, one of the few things good and holy about TLJ, is replaced with a donked-out TIE Interceptor because to hell with having new things. Kylo Ren’s helmet, sold as an apology for its destruction in the previous movie, is barely worn. The most shameless design aspect is the Xyston-class Star Destroyer, which is literally the original Star Destroyers (and I mean the Imperial I-class Star Destroyers, which were mostly phased out by ESB). My theory is that they literally just recycled the 3D models from Rogue One. With the absurd detail that went into that final battle's CGI, it seems like an odd corner cut. One of the few designs I like here is the Oubliette-class.
Overall, there are some nice shots in the movie, and the first scene on Exegol is brilliantly atmospheric in both sound design and visuals. The trailers were beautifully scored. I feel a bit ashamed that my favorite color is used so extensively. Watching parts of this movie is like getting slammed against the wall with my belly, and just as painful. There’s also plenty of generic teal/orange there, too. The editing of Carrie Fisher’s footage as Leia is effectively enough done for a postmortem. The cast doesn’t get much time to have any real performances, and Hayden Christensen is wasted as a momentary sound bite. The cast includes Harrison Ford, Oscar Isaac, Richard E. Grant, Lupita Nyong’o, Kelly Marie Tran, Dominic Monaghan, Jimmy Vee, Warwick David, John Williams, Michael Giacchino, Karl Urban, Kevin Smith, Liam Neeson, and practically every remaining Jedi actor in that stupid final soundbite. Abrams himself voices the adorable D-O, who acts like he was abused by his previous owner.
This may not seem like a thorough, proper review, but, then again, this wasn’t a thorough, proper movie. While The Last Jedi didn’t give Abrams much to work with, there was still no excuse for how atrocious TROS was. Its so bad even the Woke are split over it.
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