ALBUM REVIEWS
BOOKS
MUSIC IN MEDIA ARTICLES
.
Saturday, November 9, 2024
Cars
I'm not a Car Enthusiast (tm) in that I particular care about how fun a car is to drive. I'm more of a traditional styling guy. Then again as long as a car works, styling is no more subjective that "fun."
MY CARS
VARIOUS ARTICLES
GENERATION RANKINGS
*But Not Really
Alice Cooper – Trash
1989
Rating: A+
Taking some inspiration from a friend’s blog, I’ve decided to start doing an album review or two. Since Alice Cooper is one of my favorite musicians, I’ve decided to start with one of his high points.
There are many names in the music industry that are not household, yet have crucial significance. One of these names is Desmond Child, held by one writer and producer of some of the most iconic hits of the 80’s. In fact, if there’s a good chance that if an osmotic song from a certain band is actually worthwhile, he had a hand in writing it. It's one of those little nuances that experts are apparently too autistic to clarify to the masses in their criticisms of artists who seem to have done their share of good works.
But this is Alice Cooper we’re talking about: a revolutionary who had already established himself as one of the greats, plus he had already settled into this 80's high point with Raise Your Fist and Yell. And one thing that can define a visionary is an eye for talent to collaborate with. Just as one revolutionary hit upon the idea of having a cabinet, our own founding father of metal was not above working with talent. With this powerful combination, we have Child’s knack for effective composition combined with Cooper’s edge in Trash, an album truly great enough to avoid deserving the predictable snark concerning any allegedly apropos nomenclature (although that is definitely true for the title track).
 |
| Alice Cooper realizing that he has another election to carry on his back. |
written by Alice Cooper, Desmond Child, John McCurry
Something tells me that Alice might be kindred spirits with a certain other victim of toxic sexual relationships. Along with “Bed of Nails,” this is Cooper’s most popular song, and not without reason. A surprisingly great subgenre that thrived in 80’s hard rock is the break-up song, and this is its crown jewel thanks to its raw, uncompromising sound. A common attribute among this class of song is how gut-wrenching a toxic relationship is and how painful its memory was. The prevealing theme in these is that men are the true romantics and women are disappointingly cold, but that’s an unfair assessment based on a limited and biased point of view. That female break-up songs tend to be empowering and celebratory could only be shrugged off as a coincidence.
The video portion is nothing much to write home about. Shots of Alice Cooper's singing in an effectively moody B-Movie scene interspersed with shots of some woman and then his band playing against an absurdly bland background of Democrat Blue with the obligatory orange thing for contrast. About a minute and a half in, we do get some legitimate metal visuals in the form of torture chamber full of hanging chains.
It would be hilarious if the aforementioned Hazbin song video somehow got a 900% views boost, triggering 9/11 for haters when Alice Cooper congratulates Viv & Co, only for her to backpedal on the reciprocation when the incident puts some of his wrongthink in the spotlight.
RATING: A+
Alice Cooper, Desmond Child
Songs about sex should be smooth and sultry or energetic and edgy, with an acknowlegment that there might be something perverse about it if overdone. “Spark in the Dark” is a very successful version of the latter. This is one of the more underrated tracks on the album and one of the four that made the cut on the ClipJam collection that I use for roadtrips. The composition is melodic enough while also having enough of a rhythm to shake your body too, and the harmonization of vocal tracks during the crescendo is beautifually executed. A hidden gem.
RATING: A+
Wriiten by Alice Cooper, Desmond Child, Joan Jett
The first forgettable track on the album, a problem most likely explained by the negative musical value contributed by Joan Jett. A bland tune which holds only slight ironic, esoteric appeal to me thanks to humorous synapse misfire in which I picture cats standing proud to it.
The video is too good for the song, with classic haunted house visuals and some charmingly goofy and dated color negative flashes.
RATING: C
Alice Cooper, Desmond Child
Another great break-up song of the 80’s, but this one has the added appeal of karma. The cathartic energy of calling out backstabbing pieces of trash whose bullshit have finally caught with them cannot be denied. The song is particularly relatable because, thanks to the ambiguity/obscurity of the lyrics, it can be easily applied outside of romance in reference to the type of person who used to be refreshingly sane, relatable friend until they sold out to the woke mind virus for furry clout while shunning you or at least screwing you and other commoners out of paid-for commissions because you weren’t some voice actor in a DotA that Cooper himself might approve of, but I digress.
RATING: A+
Alice Cooper, Bruce Roberts, Andy Goldmark
This tedious and misguided foray into country/western, the only one in the album not partially written by Child, is probably one of my least favorite Alice Cooper songs. The lyrics are okay, but I generally don't care if the song itself is unenjoyable. The video is predictable in its content with the exception of some nicely-lit high-grain blank-and-white shots.
RATING: D
Alice Cooper, Desmond Child, Kane Roberts, Diane Warren
A true classic. Hardcore, edgy, and sexy. Alice Cooper at his most twisted and sinister. I really don’t have much to contribute to the conversation on this one. The video is decent, mixing some high contrast black-and-red silhouettes along with helpful visual aids to clear up any potential confusion that might arise over the song's subject matter.
RATING: A+
7. THIS MANIAC’S IN LOVE WITH YOU
Alice Cooper, Desmond,Child, Bob Held, Tom Teeley
RATING: B
Alice Cooper, Desmond Child, Mark Frazier, Jamie Savier
Presumably to preserve the iconography of the album, the appropriately titled “Trash” carries on the proud tradition of title tracks’ being so utterly forgettable and bland I'm surprised I don't constantly hear it on classic rock stations.
RATING: D
Alice Cooper, Desmond Child, Jon Bon Jovi, Richie Sambora
A solid angsty break-up song that thankfully completes the minimum quota legally required of rock albums during the 80’s. Bon Jovi's influence produces a song almost on the par with "You Give Love a Bad Name."
RATING: A-
Alice Cooper, Desmond Child, John McCurry
Not much to say about this one except that it’s a passably peppy song that there's not much to say much about it.
RATING: B
Often a work can be greater than the average of its parts. Trash may split between great songs and decent-to-mediocre ones, but it's responsible for some true classics that stand as Cooper's most iconic. It doesn't have the greatest videos, and not too many of them: only four and half of those were for its lesser songs.
There may be some who feel the need to dismiss Trash as trendy 80’s slumming from Alice Cooper, but if anything it took his music to the next level in away that demonstrates that 80’s metal, for all its supposed banality, has the hardest, edgiest genre of rock music by default to the point where everything since has been softer. The best examples of it end up being the original metal artists like Cooper and Judas Priest updating and creating above average works for the genre. Cooper was pragmatic enough to join forces with a proven collaborator, but immediately followed up wonderfully with Hey Stoopid, even though Desmond Child did contribute that album what happens to be my favorite Alice Cooper song.
OVERALL RATING: A+
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)