Monday, October 21, 2019

Least Favorite Werewolf Movies




I have a rule against ranking/reviewing movies I haven't seen all the way through, otherwise I'd top the list with Rob Zombie's El Superbeasto, a movie so terrible I couldn't make it 20 minutes through.




2006
D: Len Wiseman
**********
A slight improvement over the original, but that’s not saying much.


2009
D: Patrick Tatopoulos
**********
A dull and unnecessary prequel that raises more questions than it answers.


7. Wolfen
1981
D: Michael Wadleigh
**********
Well-directed, but it was one of the most anticlimactic movies I have ever seen.  We thought we were going to see werewolves, but instead we got wolves who were social justice warriors.


2003
D: Len Wiseman
**********
A waste of a good premise and visuals.  The characters, with the possible exception of Lucian, were not compelling and the design for the “werewolves” was terrible.


2012
D: Mans Marlind, Bjorn Stein
**********
Our favorite genocidal vampiress is back in a movie that almost makes the first Underworld look good.


4. Cursed
2005
D: Wes Craven
**********
A rather appropriately named movie.  A waste of the Craven/Williamson team as well as a great cast.  Rick Baker’s effects were sadly downplayed in favor of some bad CGI.  There are some uncut moments, but it would take more than some ultraviolence to solve this movie’s problems, which seemed to mostly stem from executive meddling.  The only good part of it is the werewolf-giving-the-middle-finger-while-lightning-strikes gif that's actually less funny in the movie's context.


2004
D: Stephen Sommers
**********
Hackish, boring action movie, but it does at least boast some good werewolf design.


2016
D: Anna Foerster
**********
Not as much technically wrong with it as the previous movies, but lacks almost every interesting aspect of them.  It doesn't even have a memorable line, which even the others seemed to have some of those.


1. Dark Shadows
2012
D: Tim Burton
**********
A hackishly unserious adaptation from the former great.  It also boasts the literal worst werewolf design I’ve ever seen: a human with digitigrade legs.


Favorite Werewolf Movies

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