Least Favorite Movies of 2011

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Favorite Movies of 2011

Probably not gonna win any snob points with the #1 on this list.

15. Cars 2

D: John Lasseter

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One of Pixar’s weakest films, but it does have some good action scenes to show for it.

 

16. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows, Part 2

D: David Yates

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While most everyone else complained about Part 1 being boring, I found this movie to be disappointing.  Needlessly drawn-out action is a pet peeve of mine, and this movie took virtually every moment of spontaneous badassery from the book and made it tedious in execution.

 

14. Thor

D: Kenneth Branagh

**********

Despite having some funny moments, it was mostly bland.  Loki would eventually come into his own as a great villain, but here his motivation is baffling.  He became a villain because…he found out he was adopted?

 

13. Source Code

D: Duncan Jones

**********

A great movie ruined by a terrible ending.

12. The Green Hornet

D: Michel Gondry

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At first I was excited about this movie because Michel Gondry is a visually distinctive director and Christoph Waltz was playing the villain.  Seth Rogen seemed questionable, but maybe this would be a Michael Keaton as Batman surprise.  Unfortunately, it was clear that they did not take this project seriously enough.  Some good action, though.

 

11. The Green Lantern

D: Martin Campbell

**********

A lackluster and forgettable superhero movie, but far from the worst.  While Ryan Reynolds can be an annoying comedy star, he’s a serviceable leading man.  I will say the movie has some good alien scenery.

 

10. Battle: Los Angeles

D: Jonathan Liebesman

**********

Alien invasion + Shakycam.  Pretty much all this movie is.  I don’t mind shakycam that much, but there’s a problem when the camera is spazzing like crazy when the main character is just sitting in an office talking with someone.

9. “Transformers:” Dark of the Moon

D: Michael Bay

**********

Sam Witwicky and Jeong’s character where thankfully the only truly irritating aspects of this movie.  The action had its moments, but it was really long and tedious toward the end.  The movie is mediocre, but it’s the first of Bay’s “Transformers” movies I did not actively despise.

 

8. Pokemon the Movie: White – Victini and Zekrom

D: Kunihiko Yuyama

**********

Like most Pokemon movies I managed to sit through, it was pretty boring.  Apparently it’s also two movies for some reason.

 

7. The Lion of Judah

D: Deryck Broom, Roger Hawkins

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An promising premise that was ruined by too much inappropriate humor and an off-putting art style.

 

6. The Iron Lady

D: Phyllida Lloyd

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Who wants to watch a movie about Margaret Thatcher’s career when we could just show her going senile and hallucinating about her dead husband?

 

5. Super Shark

D: Fred Olen Ray

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A terrible shark movie in which they fight the shark with a hilarious CGI World War II tank with legs!

4. Almighty Thor

D: Christopher Ray

**********

A terribly dull Asylum rip-off redeemed only by the funniness of watching Thor shoot a submachine gun.  I also found it hilarious that the heroine was played by Marta from Arrested Development.

3. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1

D: Bill Condon

**********

Probably the most foolish and troubling of the Twilight movies aside from New Moon.

2. The Thing

D: Matthijs van Heijningen, Jr.

**********

While the CGI isn’t as good as the practical effects of the original, what truly makes this movie an insult to the original is the stupidity of the whole cast including the Thing itself.  The intelligent and logical decision-making of the characters was what made the original a true classic.

1. The Tree of Life

D: Terrence Malick

**********

I know it was my fault for wandering into this movie not knowing what to expect and, for some reason, choosing to sit all the way through it.  I’m guessing this is not the right Terrence Malick movie to start out with.  You see literally a feature length blob of random footage before the movie decides to have things that resemble scenes. The random, non-narrative fashion in which the movie is cut is not just tedious, it’s unimpressive.  It requires work to make a coherent movie.   Mashing random shots together and pretending that’s artistic expression does not.  I will credit the movie with some beautiful cinematography and deep symbolism though. 




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Least Favorite Movies of 2012

<< 2011   2013 >>

Favorite Movies of 2012

A few really bad animated movies came out this year.

16. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

D: Peter Jackson

**********

Despite some great scenery and the ingenious casting of Martin Freeman as Bilbo, the movie drags on with unnecessary side quests and drawn out scenes.  We don’t need tedious padding to remind us that Lord of the Rings is going to happen, Peter Jackson.  Also, the gross-out gags during the troll scene were uncalled for.  Is it just me or does the theme sound familiar?

 

15. The Amazing Spider-Man

D: Marc Webb

**********

Though less visually gaudy than Sam Raimi’s movie, the plot was not quite as well-constructed.  I found the overall experience so bland that when I saw the sequel I had forgotten that Denis Leary’s character had died.  Still, I liked Andrew Garfield and his Spider-Man had some great one-liners.  Gwen Stacy was also a stronger character than Mary Jane was.  James Horner’s score is mostly forgettable, but it has its moments.

14. Moonrise Kingdom

D: Wes Anderson

**********

While very stylish, I found its characters and humor lacking.  A slight miss from Wes Anderson.

 

13. John Carter

D: Andrew Stanton

**********

I know the story was the space opera that started it all, but the movie doesn’t do anything to make it seem fresh outside a few imaginative visuals and good moments of world-building.  The movie is very orange and has a generic CGI look that made me feel like I was watching the end of Episode II again.  The characters weren’t all that compelling, even if they had a few amusing moments.  The movie is also poorly paced.  John Carter is a 19^th Century Virginian, and I’m pretty sure I have more of a Southern accent than he does.  I love how he just encounters two armies of Martians fighting and simply decides to take the side of the one that seems to be losing even though he has no frame of reference.  I guess he likes lost causes. 

12. The Dark Knight Rises

D: Christopher Nolan

**********

A huge disappointment considering how great the previous two movies were.  While the cinematography was great, the story left a lot to be desired, and Bane was poorly handled in the adaptation.  I love how Batman’s bad leg and back are brushed off and forgotten about halfway through the movie.  That’s how you handle vulnerability.

11. I Declare War

D: Jason Lapeyre, Robert Wilson

**********

The immature decision to make the religious kid a gullible moron was the one mistake that ruined this otherwise clever movie for me.

10. Total Recall

D: Len Wiseman

**********

A joyless and boring adaptation of the Paul Verhoeven classic.  I’ve been trying to be supportive of Kurt Wimmer, but this is the last time I watch something written, but not directed, by him.

 

9. Prometheus

D: Ridley Scott

**********

This movie may have great effects and cinematograpy, but it combined insufferable pretentiousness with B-movie stupidity.  David (Michael Fassbender) is the only character whose motivations and actions make sense.  He’s like the only person in the movie.  The other characters are like really dumb animals.

 

8. Pokemon the Movie: Kyurem vs. the Sword of Justice

D: Kunihiko Yuyama

**********

I don’t know why I let my friends make me sit through all these boring Pokemon movies.  The protagonist may be cute, but he is a f---ing moron. 

7. Foodfight!

D: Lawrence Kasanoff

**********

The infamous animated film that’s so aggressively s---ty that it actually has some ironic appeal.

6. The Odd Life of Timothy Green

D: Peter Hedges

**********

You’d think this would just be a cloying family movie, but it’s actually really stupid.  Two prospective parents tell an adoption agency a story about a fantastical boy that is either a tall tale made to waste their time or a testimony to how they should not be allowed to adopt a kid.

5. Underworld: Awakening

D: Mans Marlind, Bjorn Stein

**********

Our favorite genocidal vampiress is back in a movie that almost makes the first Underworld look good.

 

4. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2

D: Bill Condon
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I was a bit surprised to see The Bunk in this movie.

3. Cinderella 3D

D: Pascal Herold

**********

Not technically as bad as Foodfight, but it was very tedious and had some off-putting character designs.

2. Cosmopolis

D: David Cronenberg

**********

I admit I was unable to sit all the way through this, but I did skim through it.  The characters are not remotely interesting, let alone likable.  The movie’s also a waste of Paul Giamatti.  You know, without his distinctive krypto-pornographic gore, David Cronenberg’s movies are actually really boring.

1. Ivan the Incredible

D: Michael Hegner

**********

Forget Foodfight!  This is the worst animated movie I’ve ever seen.  Crude animation.  Off-putting character designs.  Uncomfortable situations.  A terrible moral (“better to just let yourself be the victim than risk being a bully”).  Not even ironically enjoyable.

<< 2011   2013 >>

Least Favorite Films of 2013

<< 2012    2014 >>

Favorite Movies of 2013

Well, I’ve decided to add a new feature to the blog.  I’ve already listed my favorite movies of each year, and I think I’ll do the same for my least favorite movies.  I’ve found these are far easier to compile than the good movies, since I don’t go out of my way to sit through bad films.

12. Planes

D: Klay Hall

**********

The movie’s protagonist, voiced by Dane Cook (a comedian everyone despises for reasons I’m not quite clear on), is passably likable, which gives it an edge over both Cars movies.  I like the idea of anthropomorphic planes, but the plot is clichéd.  The World War II flashback had some impact, and I would have liked more focus on military aircraft.  Adhering to the Law of 3D Anthropomorphic Movies, it has its obligatory fart/poop jokes, but it gets them out of the way quick.  More uninspired than truly terrible, though.

 

11. A Good Day to Die Hard

D: John Moore

**********

A dull movie without any of the series’ character or charm.  I will concede that it has one of the best chase scenes I’ve ever seen.

 

10. Thor: The Dark World

D: Alan Taylor

**********

 Some clever visuals and Frigga’s death is a surprise, but it’s mostly dull.  The villain is one of those bland ones with a half-hearted attempt at an understandable motivation.  Christpher Eccleston is a fun actor, but he either didn’t give a crap or he couldn’t act under heavy makeup.  I would have liked to see less of Natalie Portman and her friends and more of the Warriors Three.

9. G.I. Joe: Retaliation

D: Jon M. Chu

**********

While I thought Rise of Cobra was cheesy fun, this movie was simply bland.  Still, Firefly (Ray Stevenson) was a fun character, and they fixed Cobra Commander and Snake Eyes’ costumes.  The worst part of the movie was how they established good chemistry between Duke and Roadblock only to kill the former off in the first ten minutes.  I also would have liked for them to mention that Roadblock is a gourmet chef at least once.

 

8. Despicable Me 2

D: Pierre Coffin, Chris Renaud

**********

I didn’t particularly care for the first one, and I didn’t care for this one.

 

7. The Lone Ranger

D: Gore Verbinski

**********

A very poorly paced blockbuster with awkward attempts at humor and inconsistent tone.  The framing device of an old Tonto telling the story to a kid at a fair was awful.  The best parts were William Fichtner as Butch Cavendish and a fun final action scene.  Verbinski already made a fun, quirky Western with Rango, so this film was unnecessary.

6. Elysium

D: Neill Blomkamp

**********

Not enough style or fun to make up for its simplistic attempt at political commentary.  Spider gets some points for being the closest thing to a complex character in it, and William Fichtner was enjoyably slimy.

 

5. Oz the Great and Powerful

D: Sam Raimi

**********

A bland CGI blockbuster that only showed brief glimpses of Raimi’s style, which would have benefitted more from drawing inspiration from the books or Return to Oz than the Judy Garland movie.  I can comfortably count Raimi as a fallen creator now.

 

4. Riddick

D: David Twohy

**********

A forgettable, shallow and grotesquely orange movie about a character whose novelty seems to have worn off.  The female lead seems to be a stereotypical lesbian...but, uh oh--she has the hots for Riddick!  This is the last time I take viewing tips from Brad Jones.

3. World War Z

D: Marc Forster

**********

A generic zombie blockbuster that completely misses the point of the book.

2. Alpha and Omega 2: A Howl-iday Adventure
D: Richard Rich
**********
While I was one of the few people who liked the original, this mediocre sequel has and off-putting art style and a poop joke bad enough to knock the rating down to one star.  The ending, absurdly tacked-on as it may be has enough attempted heart to put the movie over...





1. My Little Pony: Equestria Girls

D: Jayson Thiessen

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Misses the point of the franchise and the series.  This travesty is one of the reasons why I consider myself an ex-brony. 

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