Probably not gonna win any snob points with the #1 on
this list.
15. Cars 2
D: John Lasseter
**********
One of Pixar’s weakest films, but it does have some good
action scenes to show for it.
16. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows, Part 2
D: David Yates
**********
While most everyone else complained about Part 1 being
boring, I found this movie to be disappointing.
Needlessly drawn-out action is a pet peeve of mine, and this movie took
virtually every moment of spontaneous badassery from the book and made it
tedious in execution.
14. Thor
D: Kenneth Branagh
**********
Despite having some funny moments, it was mostly
bland. Loki would eventually come into
his own as a great villain, but here his motivation is baffling. He became a villain because…he found out he
was adopted?
13. Source Code
D: Duncan Jones
**********
A great movie ruined by a terrible ending.
12. The Green Hornet
D: Michel Gondry
**********
At first I was excited about this movie because Michel
Gondry is a visually distinctive director and Christoph Waltz was playing the
villain. Seth Rogen seemed questionable,
but maybe this would be a Michael Keaton as Batman surprise. Unfortunately, it was clear that they did not
take this project seriously enough. Some
good action, though.
11. The Green Lantern
D: Martin Campbell
**********
A lackluster and forgettable superhero movie, but far
from the worst. While Ryan Reynolds can
be an annoying comedy star, he’s a serviceable leading man. I will say the movie has some good alien
scenery.
10. Battle: Los Angeles
D: Jonathan Liebesman
**********
Alien invasion + Shakycam. Pretty much all this movie is. I don’t mind shakycam that much, but there’s a
problem when the camera is spazzing like crazy when the main character is just
sitting in an office talking with someone.
9. “Transformers:” Dark of the Moon
D: Michael Bay
**********
Sam Witwicky and Jeong’s character where thankfully the
only truly irritating aspects of this movie.
The action had its moments, but it was really long and tedious toward
the end. The movie is mediocre, but it’s
the first of Bay’s “Transformers”
movies I did not actively despise.
8. Pokemon the Movie: White – Victini and Zekrom
D: Kunihiko Yuyama
**********
Like most Pokemon movies I managed to sit through, it was
pretty boring. Apparently it’s also two movies for some reason.
D: Deryck Broom, Roger Hawkins
**********
An promising premise that was ruined by too much
inappropriate humor and an off-putting art style.
6. The Iron Lady
D: Phyllida Lloyd
**********
Who wants to watch a movie about Margaret Thatcher’s
career when we could just show her going senile and hallucinating about her
dead husband?
5. Super Shark
D: Fred Olen Ray
**********
A terrible shark movie in which they fight the shark with
a hilarious CGI World War II tank with legs!
4. Almighty Thor
D: Christopher Ray
**********
A terribly dull Asylum rip-off redeemed only by the funniness
of watching Thor shoot a submachine gun.
I also found it hilarious that the heroine was played by Marta from Arrested Development.
3. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1
D: Bill Condon
**********
Probably the most foolish and troubling of the Twilight movies aside from New Moon.
2. The Thing
D: Matthijs van Heijningen, Jr.
**********
While the CGI isn’t as good as the practical effects of
the original, what truly makes this movie an insult to the original is the
stupidity of the whole cast including the Thing itself. The intelligent and logical decision-making
of the characters was what made the original a true classic.
1. The Tree of Life
D: Terrence Malick
**********
I know it was my fault for wandering into this
movie not knowing what to expect and, for some reason, choosing to sit all the
way through it. I’m guessing this is not
the right Terrence Malick movie to start out with. You see literally a feature length blob of random footage before the movie decides to have things that resemble scenes. The random, non-narrative fashion in which
the movie is cut is not just tedious, it’s unimpressive. It requires work to make a coherent movie. Mashing random shots together and pretending
that’s artistic expression does not. I
will credit the movie with some beautiful cinematography and deep symbolism
though. << 2010 2012 >>
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