I seem to have put some relatively popular titles on here. Oh, well.
16. The Tempest
D: Julie Taymor
**********
I was looking forward to this, but I found it a little
bit disappointing. While Taymor’s
quirky, intentionally anachronistic style worked in Titus, it seems out of place in the more serious Tempest.
The awkward CGI meant it also didn’t look as good as that movie. I always liked the idea of Ariel being a
reluctant henchman who hated Prospero, but Ben Winshaw plays him with too much
glee. I would have liked it better if
his performances in this and Skyfall were switched. Helen Mirren is great as Prospera, but the
adaptational sex change doesn’t seem compatible with Prospero’s patriarchal
motivations. Russell Brand’s presence is
also a hit against the movie.
15. The Wolfman
D: Joe Johnston
**********
It has great visual style, and I liked Hugo Weaving’s
character, but the movie was a bit dull.
The protagonist was a bit bland and his angst from the beginning of the
movie lessened the tragedy of his situation.
I wish they had improved upon the classic wolfman design rather than
make a straight recreation of it.
14. Megamind
D: Tom McGrath
**********
The protagonist is likable and the movie has some moments
of panache, but it was mostly typical ininspired 3D cartoon business.
13. The Expendables
D: Sylvester Stallone
**********
While it was an okay action movie, what disappointed me
was that it sold itself as an 80’s throwback, but it was actually a generic
00’s action movie with some 80’s style.
Call me when they put Gary Busey in one of these. However, I did find it funny that Stallone’s
1911 somehow fires at a rate of a bout 300rpm.
12. Black Swan
D: Darren Aronofsky
**********
The movie’s nightmarish atmosphere worked better in Requiem for a Dream, which was about the
ravages of drug addiction This movie is just
about getting into a role for ballet.
The film was also a bit too smutty for my tastes.
11. Predators
D: Nimrod Antal
**********
A mostly forgettable sequel that has too much action in
pitch darkness. The twist with Topher
Grace’s character’s being a serial killer was pretty good, though.
10. Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief
D: Chris Columbus
**********
A forgettable and cheesy Young Adult fiction movie. I just wish there would be at least one good
movie that takes place in my hometown of Nashville. And if they’re going to shoot The Parthenon,
they should just use good cinematography to bring out its beauty, don’t just
have someone sell it vocally.
9. The Last Airbender
D: M. Night Shyamalan
**********
The visual translation of the show into live action was
neat, but I think Appa and Momo had more character development in the show than
any of the humans do in this movie. While it was bland and lifeless, at least
it was relatively faithful to the source material. The one truly egregious change was turning
Katara into an ineffectual character.
8. Kick-Ass
D: Matthew Vaughn
**********
The trailer looked promising, and I was looking forward
to the idea of superheroes being attempted in the real world. There’s a humorous appeal to see people in
bright costumes wielding guns and being subject to reality. Unfortunately, the unrealistic action scenes,
though very well-executed, ruined this idea.
They even had to ruin one of the better fights by playing “Bad
Reputation.” Why do filmmakers like that
terrible song so much? The movie
romanticized Hit Girl’s situation far too much.
There is nothing cool about training a young child to murder and
kill. It did have some good humor and a good remix of the 28 Days Later theme, though
7. Despicable Me
D: Pierre Coffin, Chris Renaud
**********
Most people liked this movie, but I didn’t get it. It just seemed like a generic modern animated
movie and it had an annoying antagonist.
The premises of this and Megamind were also oddly similar.
6. Salt
D: Phillip Noyce
**********
An absurd and contrived movie that would have probably
been fun if they had let the writer direct it.
5. Alice in Wonderland
D: Tim Burton
**********
Had some great scenery and design, but it missed the
point of the source material and was a disappointment from Tim Burton. There were also some awkward 3D shots, too.
4. The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn
Treader
D: Michael Apted
**********
They should have stuck with Andrew Adamson, who did a
surprisingly good job on the previous two movies. This sequel had terrible CGI and the
unnecessary plot complications. Also,
Simon Pegg isn’t nearly as good a Reepicheep as Eddie Izzard was.
3. Get Him to the Greek
D: Nicholas Stoller
**********
A forgettable comedy starring the annoying Russell Brand and with a truly baffling cameo by the even more annoying Paul Krugman.
2. Robin Hood
D: Ridley Scott
**********
A movie that sucked all the fun out of the
character. Russell Crowe was poorly cast
as Robin Hood, and there were only moments of the swashbuckling tone of the
tale. They actually had a great idea for
a film, but the studio apparently didn’t like it so Scott just hacked out every
other movie he’s made. At least the
closing credits were cool.
1. Hot Tub Time Machine
D: Steve Pink
**********
Everyone else seemed to like this, but I don’t care. This movie was more mean-spirited than
genuinely humorous. The only part I
remember laughing at was when Craig Robinson’s character drunkenly called his
future wife when she was a small girl to tell her off for cheating on him, and
that was already in the trailer. I
thought John Cusack’s character was unlikable and shallow (he rejects a girl
just for liking Poison?), and not in a funny way. I’m glad Rob Corddry’s character’s no longer
suicidal, but his “happy” ending involved staying in the past so he get rich by
stealing every idea that would be had in the then-future. I also don’t like how the movie treats the
80’s with little respect, 'cause it's not like that decade gave us a truly
classic time-travel comedy.
Oh, and I liked Red Dawn. Sue me.
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