I guess this is it for the bad movies of the current century (yes, I know it technically started in 2001).
11. Mission: Impossible II
D: John Woo
**********
The complex plot of the first movie was eschewed for
brainless action. Woo may have been a
master in Hong Kong, but most of his movies made here are underwhelming due to
the lack of control he had over them.
Still, the theme song is cool. Not even Limp Bizkit can ruin the Mission Impossible theme…unless they add whiny vocals from one of their awful songs for no reason.
10. The Road to El Dorado
D: Don Paul, Bibo Bergeron, Will Finn, David Silverman
**********
An animated movie without any characters worth caring
about.
9. X-Men
D: Bryan Singer
**********
The movie had some strengths, like the closing theme and the use of a very good cast. It also had good atmosphere and it set up the story well, but
my suspension of disbelief was broken by the machine that turned people into
mutants. I also love how they even tried
to sneak an anti-gun moment into a movie that’s arguing that we should let
people with catastrophically dangerous superpowers run free without any
regulation. Why do people put anti-gun
messages in superhero stories? Do I even have to explain why that doesn’t work?
8. Gone in 60 Seconds
D: Dominic Sena
**********
I remember going to the movies with people during debate
camp, and the only two movies playing were this and the underrated Titan AE. Of course, I was 15 and like “I’m too old for
cartoons,” so I went to see this and I regret it.
7. American Psycho
D: Mary Harron
**********
A Pretentious and
typical movie about 80’s excess. I like
Christian Bale, but his acting in this is really off. He overacts pretty painfully at times in this
movie.
6. Battlefield Earth
D: Roger Christian
**********
An utterly inept scientologist movie with some
interesting visuals. I particularly
disliked the constant camera angles.
5. The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle
D: Des McAnuff
**********
Some funny moments, but it was mostly obnoxious and the
CGI on the main characters was awful.
4. Hollow Man
D: Paul Verhoeven
**********
The late 90’s was plagued with all these generic monster
movies. Extremely formulaic, they always
featured a bunch of people (usually scientists) trapped in an isolated environment
with some monster. The gimmick may have
been different, but they were all essentially the same movie. This one is particularly disappointing since
it’s from the legendary Paul Verhoeven. He
put in some subtle CGI shots of the invisible man’s dong, and that was all that
differentiated it. Good work.
3. Nutty Professor II: The Klumps
D: Peter Segal
**********
One of my favorite comedies produced a truly awful
sequel.
2. How the Grinch Stole Christmas
D: Ron Howard
**********
A really irritating and bloated movie that kicked off an
ongoing trend of terrible Seuss adaptation.
The Grinch’s makeup was pretty good, though.
1. Titanic: The Legend Goes On
D: Camillo Teti
**********
Insufferable, insulting, ripped-off and poorly animated. I thought about giving this
movie two stars just to differentiate it from the animated Titanic movie that tastelessly retcons the tragedy altogether, but
it really doesn’t deserve it.
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