Sunday, July 29, 2012

2000 Movies Ranked





25. How the Grinch Stole Christmas
D: Ron Howard
**********
A really irritating and bloated movie that kicked off an ongoing trend of terrible Seuss adaptation.  The Grinch’s makeup was pretty good, though.


24. Titanic: The Legend Goes On
D: Camillo Teti
**********
Insufferable, insulting, ripped-off and poorly animated.  I thought about giving this movie two stars just to differentiate it from the animated Titanic movie that tastelessly retcons the tragedy altogether, but it really doesn’t deserve it.


23. Nutty Professor II: The Klumps
D: Peter Segal
**********
One of my favorite comedies produced a truly awful sequel.


22. Hollow Man
D: Paul Verhoeven
**********
The late 90’s was plagued with all these generic monster movies.  Extremely formulaic, they always featured a bunch of people (usually scientists) trapped in an isolated environment with some monster.  The gimmick may have been different, but they were all essentially the same movie.  This one is particularly disappointing since it’s from the legendary Paul Verhoeven.  He put in some subtle CGI shots of the invisible man’s dong, and that was all that differentiated it.  Good work.


21. American Psycho
D: Mary Harron
**********
A Pretentious  and typical movie about 80’s excess.  I like Christian Bale, but his acting in this is really off.  He overacts pretty painfully at times in this movie.


20. Battlefield Earth
D: Roger Christian
**********
An utterly inept scientologist movie with some interesting visuals.  I particularly disliked the constant camera angles.


19. Mission: Impossible II
D: John Woo
**********
The complex plot of the first movie was eschewed for brainless action.  Woo may have been a master in Hong Kong, but most of his movies made here are underwhelming due to the lack of control he had over them.  Still, the theme song is cool. Not even Limp Bizkit can ruin the Mission Impossible themeunless they add whiny vocals from one of their awful songs for no reason.   


18. Gone in 60 Seconds
D: Dominic Sena
**********
I remember going to the movies with people during debate camp, and the only two movies playing were this and the underrated Titan AE.  Of course, I was 15 and like “I’m too old for cartoons,” so I went to see this and I regret it.


17. X-Men
D: Bryan Singer
**********
The movie had some strengths, like the closing theme and the use of a very good cast.  It also had good atmosphere and it set up the story well, but my suspension of disbelief was broken by the machine that turned people into mutants.  I also love how they even tried to sneak an anti-gun moment into a movie that’s arguing that we should let people with catastrophically dangerous superpowers run free without any regulation.  Why do people put anti-gun messages in superhero stories?  Do I even have to explain why that doesn’t work?


16. The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle
D: Des McAnuff
**********
Some funny moments, but it was mostly obnoxious and the CGI on the main characters was awful.


15. Boiler Room
D: Ben Younger
**********
A thrilling look at fraudulent brokerage firms.


14. Ginger Snaps
D: John Fawcett
**********
Typical monster-as-metaphor-for-puberty movie.  Well-executed but, oddly gets less gory throughout its runtime.
 
 
13. Bedazzled
D: Harold Ramis
**********
Though everyone else seems to dislike this movie, I found it pretty funny.  I actually like Brendan Fraser, and this movie shows his versatility by playing many different kinds of funny versions of the same character.


12. Titan A.E.
D: Don Bluth, Gary Goldman
**********
Other Don Bluth fans seem to dislike this movie because they weren’t kids when they saw it.  It’s actually a solid movie, which was refreshing after a decade’s worth of bad Don Bluth movies.


11. Almost Famous
D: Cameron Crowe
**********
A pretty funny movie about a young journalist hanging out with a crazy rocker.


10. A Perfect Storm
D: Wolfgang Petersen
**********
A poignant movie about a tragic sea accident.  It’s a conventional movie, but a very good one.


9. Chicken Run
D: Peter Lord, Nick Park
**********
A funny cartoon with some good music provided by John Powell.


8. Meet the Parents
D: Jay Roach
**********
A funny comedy, but the fact that the protagonist's name is "Gaylord Focker" is not nearly as funny as its writers thought.


7. The Emperor’s New Groove
D: Mark Dindal
**********
Though the animation is a little underwhelming compared to previous Disney movies, the movie is easily one of the most genuinely funny cartoons the company has produced.

6. Memento
D: Christopher Nolan
**********
A clever and darkly humorous thriller that gave us a hint of Nolan’s career.

5. O Brother, Where Art Thou?
D: The Coen Bros.
**********
A funny, quirky retelling of the Odyssey set in the Southern United States.


4. Unbreakable
D: M. Night Shyamalan
**********
People always seem to forget about this movie when talking about Shyamalan’s work.  It’s actually a very good take on the superhero archetype, and demonstrates that Night is really more of a two-trick pony.


3. Requiem for a Dream
D: Darren Aronofsky
**********
Aronofsky’s nightmarish look at drug addiction also has an excellent score.


2. Best in Show
D: Christopher Guest
**********
Christopher Guest’s satire of the quirky world of dog shows is one of the funniest movies I’ve ever seen and it’s up there with This Is Spinal Tap.  It was a tough choice between this and…


1. Gladiator
D: Ridley Scott
**********
This modern-day Ben-Hur is Scott at his best.  It has great acting, great characters, visceral action, beautiful cinematography and one of the best movie scores I’ve ever heard.  Probably inspired a few swords and sandals action movies, but none of them came close to being as good.  One of the few Best Picture winners that actually deserved it.  There seems to be a baffling backlash against this movie recently, and I just can't fathom it.  I guess some people just don't like awesomeness.







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