MOVIES I INTEND TO SEE
Jan 15
D: Michael Bay
Not the biggest fan of Michael Bay, but I’ll probably see
this for no other reason than to spite people who are more offended that
Michael Bay is making a movie about Benghazi than the thing itself.
Jan 29
D: Jennifer Yuh Nelson, Alessandro Carloni
The trailers emphasize Po’s buffoonery, but the movies
have always been more than that. I’m a
little worried since the villain seems to be played for laughs, though.
Feb 12
D: Tim Miller
Looks like a movie that does justice to a funny
character. However, considering that
it’s a gunplay-heavy action comedy, I’m afraid of the direction it might take
politically. I hope this isn’t Shoot’em Up all over again.
Feb 12
D: Ben Stiller
I love Zoolander,
so I’ll momentarily lift my avoidance of comedians (the worst of the bad bunch
that is Hollywood) to see this. The
trailer isn’t terribly funny (with the exception of “All is all”), but that’s
not necessarily a bad sign with comedies. I wouldn’t be too surprised if the movie
sucks but receives the critical acclaim the first one should have gotten. Zoolander
pioneered this brand of quirky comedy, which seems to have gotten stale
nowadays.
Mar 4
D: Byron Howard, Rich Moore
Not the first time Jason Bateman was turned into afurry. It’s not like the anthros are a
new thing, and Kung Fu Panda is a
popular contemporary anthro movie, so what’s the big deal with this one? I think it’s because this is Disney coming
back to furry cartoons. The company has
been distancing itself from the image despite being one of the primary sources
of the Fandom. Now they’re consciously
embracing it. That’s why it’s making
such a splash among furries. It looks
promising, but it might suck. Heaven
help you, Disney, if you make Jason Bateman unfunny.
Mar 25
D: Zack Snyder
I know Man of Steel
wasn’t that good a movie, but I thought it was fun. I may not like Zack Snyder’s penchant for
intermittent speed during action scenes, but his art direction usually results
in beautiful looking movies. I also like
Jeremy Irons and Jesse Eisenberg.
May 6
D: Anthony & Joe Russo
I was surprised by how much I loved Winter Soldier. It had the
best action in the Marvel movie series, and I am completely on board with the
Russo Bros. Even more so now that Iron
Man is involved.
June 17
D: Andrew Stanton
Finding Nemo
was a good movie, and the sequel will probably be good too. I also like orcas.
Ghostbusters
July 15
D: Paul Feig
I know Ghostbusters
is a classic, but I don’t mind it being remade with a female cast because I
find Kristen Wiig and Melissa McCarthy funny.
I also love the new Ecto 1.
Aug 5
D: David Ayer
People may complain about how dark the DC movies are, but
I like the grittiness. It’s interesting
how this world is exploring a world gone mad by the events of Man of Steel. Jared Leto is perfectly cast as the Joker,
even if the character design is questionable. Funny, there were no superhero movies last
year I intended to see, but this year there’s four.
Moana
Nov 23
D: Ron Clements, John Musker
I don’t like how these directors are now doing a 3D
animated film, but I’m sure it will be good.
THE MAYBES
Apr 29
D: Jerrica Cleland, Kevin Munroe
Who knows? This
might actually be a good video game movie.
June 3
D: Dave Clark
As much as I hate what Michael Bay did to my childhood
with “Transformers,” this looks like
a faithful adaptation of the cartoon.
June 17
D: Duncan Jones
The premise is interesting; I like the orcs’ being
depicted in a sympathetic light. There
isn’t enough of that in high fantasy.
The CGI in the trailer looks awful and the cinematography looks inept,
though. Duncan Jones is a good director
but maybe he’s out of his element in this genre.
Jun 24
D: Roland Emmerich
So they’re making a sequel to Independence Day. This seems
odd because I was pretty sure they stated that the entire alien race was on
that ship. It’s also odd that Brent
Spiner is listed as a cast member, because I’m pretty sure his character
died. Maybe the aliens will raise the
dead like in Plan 9 From Outer Space. Most of the reasons I liked the first one
(the use of practical effects and the fact that it came out when I was 11)
won’t apply to this one. Still, the idea
of the humans having reverse-engineered alien technology to even the odds makes
this slightly interesting.
July 8
D: Chris Renaud, Yarrow Cheney
Looks meh, but a maybe.
Pete’s Dragon
Aug 12
D: David Lowery
I’m not the biggest fan of Disney’s bland, pseudodark
live-action remakes of its animated classics (I’m looking at you, Maleficent), but I’m not really
familiar with the original Pete’s Dragon. Hopefully they’ll fix the dragon’s design,
which I was never too fond of.
Aug 23
D: Nicholas Stoller, Doug Sweetland
Don’t know anything about this, but I like Kelsey
Grammer.
Nov 18
D: David Yates
I thought we were done with Harry Potter. Oh well, this might be worth checking out.
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
Dec 18
D: Gareth Edwards
I know that Star Wars has always been overcommercialized,
but I always liked to think that at least the movies were a special occasion,
good or bad. A plethora of spin-offs
would just make things even more banal.
Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children
Dec 25
D: Tim Burton
I had already written Tim Burton off, there’s an
off-chance he might redeem himself. At
least I can dream.
MOVIES I PROBABLY WILL NOT SEE
Feb 26
D: Alex Proyas
You know what?
Maybe I should have put Alex Proyas on this list.
April 15
D: Jon Favreau
Another unnecessary live-action remake from Disney. At least we’ve perfected live-action talking
animals now. I love Bill Murray, but he
is grossly miscast as Baloo. If you’re
going to have a celebrity voice him, you should have gone back to John
Goodman. Still, I think it is funny to
think of Bill Murray Baloo hearing that Mowgli has been kidnapped by monkeys
and just not giving a shit.
Apr 22
D: Cedric Nicolas-Troyan
I like the monochromatic look, but it looks like generic
live-action gritty reboot dreck.
May 13
D: Oliver Stone
Not really interested in a puff piece on Snowden made by
a left-wing conspiracy theorist.
May 20
D: Clay Kaytis, Fergal Reilly
A movie based on a video game I’ve never played nor ever
had any intention of playing.
May 27
D: James Bobin
Tim Burton’s Alice
in Wonderland was so bad I’m surprised a sequel even got greenlit. Lots of 3D garbage cinematography by the look
of it. The design of the villain looks
good, though.
May 27
D: Bryan Singer
I didn’t like Days of Future Past. They should probably
just let this series die.
The Purge 3
July 1
D: James DeMonaco
The series’ premise was about how supporting the NRA and
Tea Party are somehow like making crime legal for a night. I’m not kidding, that’s literally the logicbehind these movies.
July 22
D: Mike Thurmeier, Galen T. Chu
I never really liked this series that much.
July 22
D: Justin Lin
Star Trek made
by the director of Fast and Furious? I’m not the biggest fan of the new Star Trek movies, but this looks like
total garbage.
Ben-Hur
Aug 12
D: Timur Bekmambetov
Now here’s an answer to a question nobody asked: Let’s make
a remake of Ben-Hur with action scenes that randomly slow down and speed up! (Yes, I know Ben-Hur was a remake, too)
Sep 25
D: Kevin Munroe
I love the games, but I never really thought the story
had the potential for a movie adapation.
The animation lacks the stylized look of the source material. And dear Gosh, Murray, what did they do to
you?
Underworld: Next Generation
Oct 21
D: Anna Foerster
Trolls
Nov 4
D: Mike Mitchell
This has got to be the most absurdly belated movie
adaptation since The Simpsons Movie. I mean this is at least 20 years too
late. I never liked troll dolls anyway.
