2020 Oscars

I've grown to care so little about this that it was completely off my radar screen until at least the night before.

BEST PICTURE

WINNER: Parasite

NOMINEES: Ford vs Ferarri, The Irishman, Jojo Rabbit, Joker, Little Women, Marriage Story, 1917, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

This was a refreshing win.  While it’s significant that this is the first BP that’s a foreign film, that’s not as significant as that it’s the third BP since the 70’s that actually deserved it.  Some of the other nominees were less worthy.  By the way if you're upset that it a foreign language film won this, you're not doing conservativism right.  Besides, multiple foreign English-language movies have won this award.  Ford vs Ferarri looked good, but not great, and don’t tell Scorsese fans Irishman was a mess.  Also most people may be rasing eyebrows at Marriage Story’s many nominations based on this hammy clip.

SNUBS: Us, A Hidden Life, Honey Boy, Velvet Buzzsaw, TheLighthouse, Midsommar

DIRECTOR

WINNER: Bong Joon-Ho (Parasite)

NOMINEES: Martin Scorsese (The Irishman), Todd Phillips (Joker), Sam Mendes (1917), Quentin Tarantino (Once Upon a Time in Hollywood)

Another deserving win from a great director.  Tarantino may have been traditionally snubbed for this Oscar, but not so much for this one, and I don’t believe in consolation awards (that’s what Lifetime Achievent’s are for).  Scorsese didn’t deserve the nomination.

SNUBS: Taika Waititi (Jojo Rabbit), Robert Eggers (The Lighthouse), Jordan Peele (Us) Ari Aster (Midsommar)

ACTOR

WINNER: Joaquin Phoenix (Joker)

NOMINEES: Antonio Banderas (Pain and Glory), Leonardo DiCaprio (Once Upon a Time in Hollywood), Adam Driver (Marriage Story), Jonathan Pryce (The Two Popes) 

A very well deserved one.  Phoenix was brilliant. 

BEST ACTRESS

WINNER: Renee Zellwegger (Judy)

NOMINEES: Cynthia Erivo (Harriet), Scarlett Johansson (Marriage Story), Saoirse Ronan (Little Women), Charlize Theron (Bombshell)

Didn’t watch any of these, but Bombshell looks interesting.

SNUBS: Lupita Nyong’o (Us)

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

WINNER: Brad Pitt (Once Upon a Time in Hollywood)

NOMINEES: Tom Hanks (A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood), Al Pacino (The Irishman), Anthony Hopkins (The Two Popes), Poe Pesci (The Irishman)

Am I the only person who thinks that Tom Hanks' casting as Mr. Rogers was a shrug?  Also, maybe Al Pacino's would have been more believable in Irishman if he wasn't constantly dissing on Italians in it.

SNUBS: Shia LaBeouf (Honey Boy) 

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
WINNER: Laura Dern (Marriage Story)

NOMINEES: Kathy Bates (Richard Jewell), Scarlett Johansson (Jojo Rabbit), Florence Pugh (Little Women), Margot Robbie (Bombshell)

Once again, I should check out Bombshell.

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

WINNER: Bong Joon-ho and Han Jin-won (Parasite)

NOMINEES: Rian Johnson (Knives Out), Noah Baumbach (Marriage Story), Sam Mendes and Kristy Wilson-Cairns (1917), Quentin Tarantino (Once Upon a Time in Hollywood)

Well deserved win.  I don’t see how 1917 warranted this.  Aside from one surprise, it’s a pretty minimalistic story.  I've also heard that Knives Out's writing mostly consisted of puerile straw men. 

SNUBS: Shia LaBeouf (Honey Boy), Dan Gilroy (Velvet Buzzsaw), Jordan Peele (Us)

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

WINNER: Taika Waititi (Jojo Rabbit)

NOMINEES: Martin Scorsese (The Irishman), Todd Phillips and Scott Silver (Joker), Greta Gerwig (Little Women), Anthony McCarten (The Two Popes)

I haven’t seen Jojo Rabbit, but it looks worthwhile.

BEST ANIMATED PICTURE

WINNER: Toy Story 4

NOMINEES: How to Train Your Dragon 3, I Lost My Body, Klaus, Missing Link

It seems that the Academy has given another thoughtless win to Pixar, though tbf I haven’t seen that movie yet.  How to Train Your Dragon 3 was disappointing.  I should really check out I Lost My Body, but Missing Link is the best of the movies I’ve seen here.  I personally think that a Best Director of Animation award would make more sense than Best Movie That Happens to be Animated, then Klaus would be the obvious choice for its refreshingly updated 2D animation.  It also doesn't help that leaked documents have revealed just how little respect the Academy has for this medium.

BEST SCORE

WINNER: Hildur Guonadottir (Joker)

NOMINEES: Alexandre DeSplat (Little Women), Randy Newman (Marriage Story), Thomas Newman (1917), John Williams (TROS)

Joker’s haunting score is the clear right choice, but can someone explain why the hell they keep nominating the Star Wars sequels for this?  They never did this for the prequels, which had great scores.  Does anyone actually remember anything from the TROS score that wasn’t already in the older movie?

SNUBS: Christophe Beck (Frozen II) 

BEST SONG

WINNER: “(I’m Gonna) Love Me Again” (Elton John& Bernie Taupin, Rocket Man)

NOMINEES: “I Can’t Let You Throw Yourself Away” (Randy Newman, Toy Story 4), “I’m Standing with You” (Diane Warren, Breakthrough), “Into the Unknown” (Kristen Anderson-Lopez & Robert Lopez, Frozen II), “Stand Up” (Cynthia Erivo, Harriet)

“Stand Up” is the most deserving out of the nominees, and it’s neat that Erivo was nominated for both acting and music Oscars.  “I’m Standing with You” was bland, and Toy Story 4’s song is a repetitive mocker of Motown.  The Elton John is fun, but it pretty much channels the Four Tops pretty heavily at the beginning.

SNUBS: “The Next Right Thing” and “All is Found” from the Frozen II sountrack  

BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN
WINNER: Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

NOMINEES: Jojo Rabbit, The Irishman, 1917, Parasite

I wish the creative design of Jojo Rabbit won this.  Parasite was also more deserving.

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY

WINNER: Roger Deakins (1917)

NOMINEES: Rodrigo Prieto (The Irishman), Lawrence Sher (Joker), Jarin Blaschke (The Lighthouse), Robert Richardson (Once Upon a Time in Hollywood) 

I love Roger Deakins, and his award for BR2049 was richly deserved.  Still, I think this win was overcompensation for how criminally overdue he was for an Oscar as well as the Academy’s giving the movie’s pseudo-one-shot gimmick more credit than it deserved.  The other nominees were more deserving.

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS

WINNER: 1917

NOMINEES: Avengers: Endgame, The Irishman, The Lion King, TROS

I like 1917’s emphasis on practical effects, so it deserved the win more than any of these other nominees. Endgame as typical CGI overindulgence, the Irishman’s de-aging got a lot of snark for its seams, the Lion King characters were soulless, and TROS’s CG looked cartoonish.  In fact I think the reason those Star Destroyers were based on Imperial I class is because they simply recycled the models from Rogue One.

SNUBS: Ad Astra, Godzilla: King of Monsters

Raimi's Hidden Gem

The Quick and the Dead

1995

D: Sam Raimi

**********

Pros: Camp Style, Great Cast, Some Good Lines

Cons: Some Writing Flaws, No Bruce Campbell

       This is the 25^th anniversary of Sam Raimi’s most criminally overlooked movie.  While it has some story flaws, all you need to know about this movie to want go see The Quick and the Dead is that it’s a camp spaghetti Wester directed by Sam Raimi.  I repeat: a camp Spaghetti Western directed by Sam Raimi.  Mid-90’s Sam Raimi.  I’ve heard assertions that Raimi was an inappropriate director such a movie, but that’s like saying that Don Bluth wouldn’t be the right choice to adapt Jack.  This film also features a smorgasborg of recognizable character actors that include Goliath, Bishop, Commissioner Gordon, and the Snow Shoveler from Home Alone.

       It's 1881 and The Lady (Sharon Stone) comes to a town and participates in a pistol dueling tournament set up by dictatorial mayor John Herod (Gene Hackman).  Other competitors include the flamboyant sharpshooter Ace Hanlon (Lance Henrikson), Sgt. Cantrell (Keith Davd), the Swede Gutzon (Sven Ole-Thorsen), Dog Kelly (Tobin Bell), Eugene Dred (Kevin Conway), and Spotted Horse (Jonothon Gill), a Native American who boasts that he “cannot be killed by a bullet” (he almost lives up to it).  Two more significant participants are Cort (Russell Crowe) and The Kid (Leonardo DiCaprio).  Cort is a former member of Herod’s gang turned preacher who is being forced to join the match; he eventually kills despite his protests that he is now a pacifist.  The Kid runs the local gun store, and is determined to prove that he is Herod’s son by matching his marksmanship. Various confrontations occur during this game, including a few villains and the revelation that Hanlon is nothing more than a stylish charlatan.  Other cast members include Raynor Scheine, Olivia Burnette, Scott Spiegel, Woody Strode, Mark, Boone Junior, and Pat Hingle as Horace the saloon owner, and Roberts Blossom as Doc Wallace. 

      The Lady, in spite of her posturing as a tough character, turns out to be rather ambivalent about killing and demonstrates weakness at times in the plot.  This vulnerability could be easily forgiven, but her reluctance to kill contradicts one moment when she physically assaults Horace for a casually misogynistic comment in a classic example of writers' being able to tell the difference between a strong female character and a dangerously unstable crazy woman.  Also, this twist is subtly foreshadowed in the first scene, in which a bum tries to shoot her.  It initially appears as though he hit her but it turns out he only shot her through her hat.  The gunshot was enough to startle off her horse (which didn’t rear).  It’s ultimately revealed that she is the daughter of the town’s former sheriff (Gary Senise), whom Herod murdered when he took over.  She eventually alies with Cort to come up with a clever plan to defeat the villain.

      One nagging flaw in this movie is the stupidity often displayed by Herod.  First, despite ruling the town with an iron fist, he apparently has a gun shop and dares people to participate in a dueling competition.  This is an odd choice when everyone in town hates you and wants you dead.  Most dictators, including Hackman’s character from Unforgiven, realize this.  Of course, this could be excused as villainous arrogance, but it’s still a stretch.  

      Less logical is his relationship with The Kid, which is his only human trait.  While he emphatically denies that he’s the father, he cares enough about The Kid's safety to discourage him from joining the tournament.  Then again, he could just simply ban him and get away with it.  One could say that that robs him of plausible deniability, but he’s still openly telling the Kid to walk away, and it’s not like people in authority have an unlimited ability to gaslight.  Worse still, he changes the rules of the tournament to mandate duels to the death in order to spite a participant who was hired by the townspeople to kill him.  Not only is this redundant since the lack of required homicide didn’t stop him, he has now put himself in a position where he might have to obliged to kill the only person in town he doesn’t want to.  Eventually, he ends up doing just that.  Admittedly the scene is very well directed, which a palpable sense of doom that contrasts with the Kid’s oblivious optimism.        

       There’s a difference in tone between the earnest script and the playful direction, as Raimi was hired late in the game at the behest of Sharon Stone.  This isn’t usually an issue since I actually love the juxtaposition of serious narrative and over-the-top style.  However, that usually works best when the serious narrative is good.  Actual flaws are not justified in a story that takes itself seriously, and the script is serious with the exception of Spotted Horse, whose politically incorrect nature can only be justified as camp.  Quick and the Dead has some flaws which bring it down, but it’s an effective enough story and the director made elevated it with a unique, fun style.

       And the style is Sam Raimi at his best in a genre that lends itself to his strengths.  The cinematography by Dante Spinotti is exceptional, especially with all the Raimi camerawork that adds to the movie’s distinctiveness.  Patrizia von Brandenstein (production design), Pietro Scalia (editing), Steve Skalad (art direction), Hilton Rosemarin (set decoration), Judianna Makovsky (costume design) all help make this movie a feast for the eyes.  It's amazing this movie didn't get nominated for any visual Oscars, because it's as stylish as Fury Road.  The Spaghetti Western element is also enhanced by the hiring of Italian talent.  Alan Silvestri’s score is decent.  The guns are detailed and period specific thanks to the help of Thell Reed, and are lovingly filmed.  The gunplay is hilariously over-the-top, with backflips from gun impacts and inventively cartoonish stylizations that only Raimi could work in real life.  Yes, this movie is a live-action cartoon and it is glorious.  Other elements of camp include a blind kid (Jerry Swindall) who manages the ammunition, and rumor has it The Classic is hidden somewhere in the movie.  One glaring omission is Bruce Campbell, which is particularly absurd.  It seems Raimi continued his tradition of tormenting the actor by having Pat Hingle beat the shit out of him and adding insult by not even including the scene in the movie.  One hopes this scene comes to light eventually.

       Unfortunately, the movie's lack of success might have been what killed Sam Raimi’s visual style.  The director blamed his creativity for the failure, and that probably explains why most of his subsequent films have lacked his campy edge, and those that didn’t have been adulterated with CGI.  While imperfect, Quick and the Dead is a fun movie whose style makes it mandatory viewing for Sam Raimi fans.  It’s certainly more worth their time than Drag Me to Hell.    

QUOTES

HEROD: [to The Lady] Do you have some particular problem with me?

HEROD: [having just defeated Cantrell] I'm confused.  All I hear from you, you spineless cowards, is how poor you are; how you can't afford my taxes.  Yet somehow you managed to find the money to hire a gunfighter to kill me.  If you got so much money, I'm just gonna have to take some more, because clearly some of you haven't got the message.  THIS IS MY.  TOWN.  I RUN EVERYTHING.  IF YOU LIVE TO SEE THE DAWN IT'S BECAUSE I ALLOW IT.  I decide who lives and dies.  [Cantrell attempts to make a move, but Herod delivers put a Looney Tunes-sized hole in his head]  Your gunfighter is dead.  Old news.

XFL Uniforms Ranked

I’m not gonna lie, I’m excited about the new XFL.  It’s going to be a relief having a sport to watch during basketball season, after all.  Also, it seems this will not be the same type of snark bait that the original one was.  Instead of edgy gimmicks, it will focus on streamlining the game: reducing game length and penalties.  Even more laudably, it’s apparently getting rid of the de facto college requirement.  So here’s my uniform ranking of all the teams, including the old ones.  Overall, I think the new leagues' uniforms are better than the NFL's.

16. BIRMINGHAM THUNDERBOLTS

The helmet layout is distinctive, but that’s about it.  Generic purple/yellow combination watered down with white.  You'd think with the stormy theme they'd get alliterative and call it the Birmingham Blitz.

15. LOS ANGELESE XTREME

The blue/yellow/white scheme is okay, but you’d think a team with such an edgy 90’s name would have a bolder uniform.

14. DC DEFENDERS

Meh, just a typical red uniform.  Uninspired, but tasteful.

11. ST. LOUIS BATTLEHAWKS

A typical royal blue uniform, but at least there’s a subtle two-tone look with another shade of blue, and I like the distinctive way the wings dominate the helmets.

13. SEATTLE DRAGONS

While they picked the best creature as their mascot, their uniforms aren’t that impressive, but they look ok and unique.

12. ORLANDO RAGE

The colors are okay, but maybe with too much white space.  The warm palette matches the brand.  However, it does have one of the funniest sports logos out there: its name is RAGE, and its logo is a picture of this dude who just looks mildly annoyed.

10. SAN FRANCISCO DEMONS

A decent red-and-black uniform with one of the more genuinely sinister logos out there.

9. CHICAGO ENFORCERS

A good logo, and it does the black and purple scheme better than the Baltimore Ravens.

8. NEW YORK/NEW JERSEY HITMEN

The logo is nice and the uniform is solid, but there seems to be an ambiguity.  In many pictures and descriptions the uniforms have a royal blue that borders on purple, but some photos show a more attractive teal color.

7. MEMPHIS MANIAX

I love the two colors and they go very well together, but something tells me they’re too soft to match the team’s brand.  I also love how they were so proud of the 90’s spelling stylization on “maniacs” that they literally made it their helmet logo.  Not the whole name, just the “AX” portion.  It’s also funny that the name would presumable represent something as intimidating as a psychotic killer, but the logo is just a picture of some dude tripping balls. 

6. NEW YORK GUARDIANS

A good color scheme, but it’s watered down by too much white.  I absolutely love the sinister logo, and how its stripes wrap around the back of the helmet.

5. LAS VEGAS OUTLAWS

A solid warm motif with the colors, but I wish they’d put this logo on the helmet.  The monogram still looks good though.

4. HOUSTON ROUGHNECKS

A great balance of colors with an effective accent of silver.  One of the best patriotic uniforms out there.  It's a good name, but easily turned into "rednecks" by detractors.

3. LOS ANGELES WILDCATS

A dark and edgy theme with flawless color coordination as a result of the highlight colors’ being red and orange.  The logo looks good as well.

2. TAMPA BAY VIPERS

The bright green fits the brand and it’s underused in sports.  It complements the yellow well, and the uniform maintains a consistent color theme.

1. DALLAS RENEGADES

I’m definitely biased towards bright blue, especially when contrasted with a dark color.  The red also complements it well without going overboard.  The shoulder stripes work well.  Overall, it looks like a better version of the Titans’ old uniform (which I sorely miss), except it maintains a consistent palette with the bright blue helmet.

2020 Movies Ranked

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4. Unhinged

D: Derrick Borte

**********

A typically flawed B-Movie that's only slightly redeemed by some stunts and Russell Crowe's performance.

3. Fatman

D: Eshom and Ian Nelms 

**********

A solid movie, but St. Nick isn't nearly the badass he's hyped up to be.  An interesting twist is that his gift to inspire the villain has the opposite effect.


2. Gretel & Hansel
D: Oz Perkins
**********
Great visual atmosphere and score enhance this dark fairy tale.

1. Tenet

D: Christopher Nolan

**********

If Inception was actually as nebulous. Thrilling and satisfying, but really hard to follow.  I might have to doublecheck to see whether or not I just didn't get Gish-galloped by a movie. as people say it was.  

If 




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