Not Much to Say

Underworld: Blood Wars

2016

D: Anna Foerster

**********

Pros: Charles Dance, Not much technically wrong with it

Cons: Bland Characters, Uninteresting Plot

      Perhaps I should reconsider my standing order to do a review of every Underworld movie out of tradition, as it’s the only reason I feel compelled to even address this movie.  I never particularly cared for these movies, but they always had some interesting elements.  This one, however, is so bland it’s even making me see redeeming features in Awakening. 

      At this point in the saga, the Lycans are winning a war of extermination against the vampires.  It might be nice to acknowledge how the oppressed can become the oppressor, but don’t expect any Babylon 5-like complexity to make it interesting.  This time they are led by Marius (Tobias Menzies), who, in spite of some character shilling, is nothing more than a bland version of Lucian (Michael Sheen), the closest thing the first movie had to a likeable character.  While he’s winning the war, he still needs a plan to break into the Eastern Coven with the help of his vampire lover Alexia (Daisy Head).  He also uses the blood of Michael Corvinus (Trent Garrett, replacing Scott Speedman), whom he apparently killed, to attain Super-Lycan status.

      Meanwhile, the Eastern Coven, led by Cassius (James Faulkner) is convinced by Semira (Lara Pulver) and Thomas (Charles Dance) to grant Selene (Kate Beckinsale) clemency so that she can train the younger Death Dealers.  Selene agrees and she brings David (Theo James) to the coven.  Unfortunately, Semira and her lover Varga (Bradley James) are planning a coup.  They frame Selene for their murder of a group of Death Dealers, and Semira reveals that she was Viktor’s favorite before Selene was turned, motivating her spite.  She then puts her in a device designed to drain her blood, which she intends to consume in order to attain her powers.  Selene and David escape with the help of Thomas, who dies by Semira’s hand.

     They escape to the Nordic Coven, meeting Vidar (Peter Andersson) and Lena (Clementine Nicholson).  There a whole lot of world-building occurs in little time.  They discover that the Nordic vampires have perfected a method that involves embalming and resurrection in order to obtain super-speed powers.  David finds out that he’s actually the child of of Vampire Elder Amelia (Sveta Driga, replacing Zita Görög) and is given a special sword held by his father.  I can’t help but think that all this subterfuge, fantasy, and medievalism (as well as Dances’s presence) may be a bad attempt to imitate Game of Thrones.  The Coven is attacked by Lycans, since our heroes just drag trouble with them wherever they go, and Selene is killed by Marius.  This might be a respectably daring move from this franchise, since they already angered fans by apparently killing of Michael, but she gets better.

      At the Eastern Coven, Alexia deactivates the security measures so that the Lycans can invade and reports to Semira, who reveals that she knew of her treachery all along and that it was part of her own plan before killing her.  Semira then uses the desperation as an opportunity to overthrow the council as a stronger leader, but this is thwarted when David shows up with proof of his heritage.  The vampires imprison Semira, but she escapes while the battle ensues.  During the battle Selene shows up, having been cocooned and granted new powers.  She faces off against Marius and kills him after finding out that he probably murdered Michael for his blood.  Marius’ death is one of the movies’ better moments of gore.  David fights Semira who is killed anticlimactically when she is stupidly distracted by her own newfound immunity against sunlight.  The battle is a hard-won victory for the vampires.  The new leadership of the Coven by David and Selene’s new powers could have been an intriguing game-changer for a more reliable franchise.  The movie ends with Selene’s being reunited with Eve, whom she had sent away from her for her own safety.

          Visually the movie is mostly the same as the previous ones, although there are a couple nice snowscapes.  Action is competent, but underwhelming, like in most of its predecessors.  Unfortunately, they also apparently gave up on any decent design for the Lycans, instead reverting solely to the terrible designs in the original.  At 91 minutes, the movie is not mercifully short enough and it drags noticeably more the than the comparable runtimes of the preceding two movies.

           Underworld: Blood Wars may be the worst movie in the series, despite arguably being its least flawed entry.  The first movie might have been more enjoyable if the characters were more likeable and their actions more understandable.  No protagonist does anything particularly stupid or repugnant in Blood Wars, but that doesn’t make it any more watchable.  Despite their flaws the previous movies were at least interesting on some level.  I mean, at least I was able to glean some interesting quotes from the other movies.  In fact, there is so little to say about this movie that this is actually my shortest stand-alone review at 876 words.  Apparently insecure with the established lore, the movie introduces new things out of nowhere, and further alienates fans by elevating newcomer David to Chosen One status while seemingly confirming Michael’s death.  It just goes to show that technical competence isn’t always everything.               

Fash Gordon

 

Starship Troopers

1997

D: Paul Verhoeven

**********

Pros: Score, Special Effects, Cheesy Fun, Some Good Satire

Cons: Some Bad Satire, One Offensive Scene

      Twenty years ago today, Paul Verhoeven’s contemptuous adaptation of Robert A. Heinlein’s seminal ci-fi novel was released.  Due to its satirical tone, it’s often mistaken for an earnestly cheesy B-movie.  Usually when this mistake happens, the movie is harshly criticized, but people seem to enjoy it nonetheles.  Unlike most of the people who recognize this movie for what it is, I have some criticism for its approach.  And yes, it is possible to recognize the problematic nature of the book while finding Verhoeven’s attempt to satire it a bit flawed.

       Published in 1959, the novel influenced many science fiction tropes, not the least of which being mechanized battlesuits.  Its depiction of military life was so well-developed that it’s taught in military schools and is cited as a hypothetical guide to future warfare.  It makes a noble, if slightly awkward, attempt to depict sexual equality.  Unfortunately, it’s not perfect.  It’s most well-known for its infamous theme that society would be ideal if only former military veterans could vote, a message supported only by the conveniently fictional evidence cited in the book.  The story allows for racial equality (as does the movie), and abuse of the civilian population is somehow nonexistent.  It’s an interesting idea worthy of an alien race in Star Trek: Deep Space 9, preferably with a complex exploration of its effect on characters.  The novel has also been criticized for allegedly racist themes revolving around the alien antagonists.  Perhaps its most empirically disproven message is that corporeal punishment is crucial to instilling discipline.  The story had enough strengths to deserve an earnest adaptation that was aware of its flaws, but that’s not what this movie is. 

      Verhoeven obviously didn’t like the book so he decided to make the movie a mockery of it.  Unfortunately his less-than-intriguing idea of deconstructing this military dictatorship is to simply brand it as fascism.  Not particularly unfair in this case, but it’s pretty lazy.  And he deftly conveys this message by literally dressing the characters up like Nazis.  This director has been known to strike a difficult balance that makes his satires uniquely tongue-in-cheek without turning them into outright farces, but this makes Starship Troopers veer away from RoboCop and Total Recall toward RoboCop 2.  

Above: Subtlety.

This is tangential, but I’d love to know how people who conflate militarism and fascism think the Allies beat the Nazis in the first place.  Perhaps everyone in the Western world simply donned a mask, walked into Germany, and punched them until World War II was over. 

        Verhoeven’s apparent lack of knowledge and appreciation for military oversimplified the details of the book’s world and ignored the tactics that made it intriguing.  Most noticeably, the battlesuits are gone, and a training scene absurdly ignores gun safety (leading to a death).  This is almost certainly intentional symbolism of how little authoritarian regimes care for human life.  Then again even brutal dictatorships see their soldiers as assets and don’t waste them without some pragmatic reason for doing so.  The military is frequently depicted as incompetent and ill-equipped.  For example, it takes an entire magazine from an awkwardly large Morita rifle (a possible Freudian statement?) to take down a single soldier bug.  Even the Arachnids are stripped of their technological prowess, depicted as somehow throwing rocks with butt plasma in yet another probably intentional example of absurdity.

Nice booty, though.

       The most insulting scene in the movie is one in which an older recruiter (Robert David Hall) congratulates the protagonist on his decision to enlist and obliviously states that the Mobile Infantry “made him the man he is today” before the picture reveals the double amputation of his legs.  This is actually a bastardization of a sympathetic moment in the novel in which a veteran possesses cybernetic legs but purposefully takes them off when working as a recruiter in order to make it clear to prospective recruits what they’re signing up for.  This rather clever and self-aware statement about sacrifice is replaced by the childish suggestion that choosing to risk life and limb for something greater than oneself is for chumps.  Verhoeven generally displays an odd contempt for heroism in his movies.  

      There are some moments in which the satire succeeds, however.  The most genuinely humorous moments are the corny propaganda videos shown throughout the movie, which are more like the tongue-in-cheek Verhoeven I appreciate.  Their nature is best summed up by the disingenuous catchphrase “Would You Like to Know More?”  The movie does make a good point about how war fever and xenophobia can brainwash us.  For example, much of the losses experienced by the Federation are the result of its underestimation of the enemy.  In fact, there are vague suggestions that the humans were the aggressors (particularly one scene that suggests that some bugs are captured and experimented on), provoking the Arachnids to attack.  On the other hand, the aliens’ attack on civilian targets is hardly justifiable.  There are some occasional moments of dissent from civilians, but I would have liked to see more internal conflict.

             One objective advantage the movie has over the novel is a well-organized plot.  Despite its less earnest approach, it actually has character arcs that come to fruition.  The book simply focuses on a linear account of Juan “Johnny” Rico’s training and advancement in the military, and this limits the story’s scope.  There is a good moment of complexity between Sergeant Zim and a superior officer, but its presentation is a bit contrived as a result of Heinlein’s decision to make Rico the only POV character.   Coversely, the film sets up an arc in which a whitewashed Johnny Rico (Casper Van Dien) and his classmates Carmen Ibanez (Denise Richards), Isabell “Dizzy” Flores (Dina Meyer), and Carl Jenkins (Neil Patrick Harris) join the military as soon as they graduate their intentionally Rockwellesque life as high school students.  Their different career paths branch out until eventually meet again at the end, secure in their roles in The Federation.  Here Carmen says, “You know, whenever the three of us are together, I feel like things just might work out.”  There are even some moments of pathos, particularly Dizzy’s death.  Other characters include Rico’s infantry comrade Ace Levy (Jake Busey) and tough-but-caring division officer Jean Rasczak (Michael Ironside), and Carmen’s comrade/love interest Zander Barcalow (Patrick Muldoon).  Rico’s parents, who disapprove of his military service, are played by Christopher Curry and Lenore Kasdorf.  One of the more compelling characters is Zim (Clancy Brown), a tough sergeant with a sympathetic side.  Other cast members include Brenda Strong, Seth Gilliam, Dean Norris, Marshall Bell, Rue McClanahan, Dale Dye, Amy Smart, and John Cunningham as the propaganda reel narrator.

       One of the movie’s strengths is its special effects.  The movie got a well-earned Oscar nomination for it, and it features a good mix.  In addition to good model work with the spaceships, the bugs are rendered using impressive CGI for the time.  It even holds up surprisingly well, with the exception of the Brain Bug.  Additionally, Verhoeven delivers on his signature violence.  Sometimes the gore is played well for dark humor in the newsreel scenes.                

      By far the best part of the movie, however, is Basil Poledouris’ score.  It seems aware of the movie’s satirical tone by starting out as rather cloying patriotic march before it subverts itself and transitions to a dark, and ominous theme that still manages to be genuinely rousing.  It’s a perfect combination of irony and genuinely enjoyable scoring.  It was a travesty that it did not win the Oscar.  In fact, Poledouris, despite his excellent work, has never even been nominated for an Academy Award.  The franchise also features an ironic patriotic song (I believe from a sequel), that is also rather enjoyable.   

      There are a few reasons why Starship Troopers is popular even among people who miss the satire, or people who (like me) see said satire as flawed.  Verhoeven is one of the few directors who can pull off tongue-in-cheek violence without it turning farcical.  Even talented directors, like John McTiernan and Irvin Kershner, have tried this and failed miserably.  It’s easy to screw this up and accidentally make a genuinely good action movie or a spoof.  Usually movies that bridge the gap end up coming off as hypocritically trying to have it both ways.  Verhoeven’s movies arguably have this problem, but their creativity makes his movies enjoyable whether you choose to watch them as earnest movies or ironic satires.  Another factor is that he generally treats the characters like sympathetic people despite the message.  For those who don’t get the irony, his R-Rated boldness make his work more like an enjoyably edgy B-movie while other satires-mistaken-for-bad-movies can simply come off like gutless studio dreck.  The satirical approach also provides opportunity for humor.  There are plenty of fun moments and memorable lines throughout the movie that even have some accidental appeal for the more militaristic among us.  Starship Troopers may not be as smart as it thinks at is and it may not do the source material justice, but it’s still a fun movie that’s worth a watch.  Or maybe I'm just more forgiving when childhood nostalgia is not involved.   

QUOTES

RASCZAK: You. Why are only citizens allowed to vote?

STUDENT: It's a reward. Something the Federation gives you for doing federal service.

RASCZAK: No. Something given has no value. When you vote, you are exercising political authority, you're using force. And force my friends is violence. The supreme authority from which all other authorities are derived

RASCZAK: Naked force has resolved more conflicts throughout history than any other factor. The contrary opinion, that violence doesn't solve anything, is wishful thinking at its worst. People who forget that always die.

RASCZAK: Rico. What is the moral difference, if any, between a civilian and a citizen?
RICO: A citizen accepts personal responsibility for the safety and the body politic defending it with his life. A civilian does not.
RASCZAK: The exact words of the textbook. But do you understand it? Do you believe it?
RICO: I don't know.
RASCZAK: No, of course you don't. I doubt anyone here would recognize civic virtue even if it reached up and bit you in the ass!

RICO: I wanna join up.  I think I got what it takes to be a Citizen.

RASCZAK: Good for you! Go find out...

RICO: Well... my parents are against it... and I know it's my choice. I was wondering. What would you do if you were me?

RASCZAK: Figuring things out for yourself is the only freedom anyone really has. Use that freedom. Make up your own mind, Rico.

ACE: Sir, I don't understand. Who needs a knife in a nuke fight anyway? All you gotta do is push a button, sir.

ZIM: Cease fire. Put your hand on that wall trooper.  Put your hand on that wall!

[Zim throws a knife and pins Aces hand to the wall]

ZIM: The enemy cannot push a button... if you disable his hand.  MEDIC!

[Rico is about to be flogged as punishment]

ZIM: [whispering] Bite down on this, son.  It helps.  I know.

RICO: Someone asked me once if I knew the difference between a civilian and a citizen. I know now. A citizen has the courage to make the safety of the human race their personal responsibility. Dizzy was my friend. She was a soldier. But most important, she was a citizen of the Federation.

RASCZAK: I need a corporal. You're it, until you're dead or I find someone better.

CARL: You disapprove? Well, too bad! We're in this war for the species, boys and girls. It's simple numbers. They have more. And every day I have to make decisions that send hundreds of people like you to their deaths.

RICO: Didn't they tell you, Colonel? That's what the Mobile Infantry is good for.

[Rico passes up a dance with Dizzy]

RASCZAK: Rico - you once asked me for advice, want some now?

RICO: Yes, sir!

RASCZAK: Never pass up a good thing.

ZANDER: My G-d.  How could this have happened?

CARMEN: We thought we were smarter than the bugs.

[Fleet faces heavy plasma fire]

CAPTAIN DELADIER: This isn't random or light. Somebody made a mistake.

ZANDER: That's it. Drop status is 100%. We're empty, ma'am.

[Plasma fire grows worse, and two other ships collide in front of them]

CAPTAIN DELADIER: Somebody made a BIG g-ddam mistake!

RASCZAK: I expect the best and I give the best. [rolls out a keg] Here's the beer!

[Everyone cheers]

RASCZAK: Here's the entertainment. Now have fun. That's an order!

[Carl approaches a captured Brain Bug that is obviously beside itself with fear.  It cowers as he touches its head.  He takes a few seconds to psychically probe it.]

CARL: It’s afraid.  It’s afraid!

[Everyone cheers]