Teachers
1984
D: Arthur Hiller
**********
Pros: Good Cast, Funny for the First Few Scenes
Cons: Hackish Plot Devices, Melodrama
I only
heard of this movie because of an internet meme that asked people what the number
one movie at the box office was the day they were born. If my brief research is correct it’s this
film. It seemed to have a clever sell: a
school whose teachers were just as amusingly irresponsible as the students. This had to the potential to be to public education
what M*A*S*H was to the military but, as Roger Ebert lamented, it was
more like General Hospital.
Sadly,
the movie actually does start like the former.
It establishes the chaotic nature of its inner-city Columbus, Ohio high school
with wit and humor. For about twenty
minutes I was thinking that I had stumbled on a hidden gem, and then its soapy
plot proceeded in earnest. In fact, this
seems to be problem for many movies: Plotting a Perfect Good Comedy. I’ve seen multiple comedies that were really
funny when they were just sticking to their strength of showing their characters’
bouncing off each other, only to turn dull when felt that obligated to have
formulaic and saccharine story.
In addition to the usual bedlam, the school is
dealing with a lawsuit from a student named John Calvin, who is suing the
school for allowing him to graduate without actually teaching him how to
read. There is an interesting element
here in which the school faculty cynically agrees to stonewall the deposition,
reflecting the folly of interpersonal loyalty when it takes precedence over
morality and duty. This could have been
executed well and with good comedy, but the movie ends up going down an
idealistic route it’s too campy to handle properly.
The
movie’s protagonist, a lazy but earnest and hip-with-the-students teacher named
Alex Jurel (Nick Nolte), at first appears to be a company man, reassuring his
close friend Vice Principal Roger Rubell (Judd Hirsch) that he will not betray
the school. This changes when he falls
in love with his former student Lisa Hammond (JoBeth Williams), who is now a lawyer
for the prosecution in this case. The romance
is predictably lazy and rushed for a blockbuster, and after some tension over
the case, Jurel begins to see her point of view. And because this movie wouldn’t be hackneyed enough
without a kid who needs to be reached, Jurel also forms a connection with delinquent
student Eddie Pilikian (Ralph Macchio, most known for his starring role in Secret
of NIMH 2: Timmy to the Rescue). Eventually
the school catches on to his status as a potential liability and forces him to
resign. As a pretext for this punishment
they use his “compassionate” decision drive a student (Laura Dern) to an abortion
clinic, a tangent which in itself is underdeveloped and trivialized as it only
serves the purpose of Jurel’s persecution as well as ideological manipulation. Meanwhile, Lisa is disillusioned when her
firm is satisfied with a settlement (which should render the Jurel’s
forced resignation moot), and browbeats Jurel into not giving up. She does so by ranting about how she’s not
afraid to “run naked down the hallways” (a proposition which I did not realize
was on the table) and drives the point about both integrity and the movie’s quality
by literally stripping naked and running down the halls. Inspired, Jurel defies the school at the risk
of a lawsuit, pontificating in front of an admiring crowd of students that the
school is for the kids, not the teachers.
Even Eddie is inspired to make something of his life now. It’s the cinematic equivalent of a Tumblr anecdote
in which everybody cheers.
There
are multiple tangents in the movie, but they have little significance except as
background noise. It’s almost like the
movie tried to cram a miniseries’ worth of material into its runtime, albeit
not very hard. There is one neurotic but
honest teacher named Rosenberg (Allen Garfield) whose hand is bitten by a
crazed student named Danny Reese (Crispin Glover). Danny mostly serves as a dim-witted foil for
Eddie until he’s tragically shot when he steals a gun in the school. Richard Mulligan plays a mental outpatient to
wanders into a substitute teacher’s apartment when the latter is in the shower and
accepts a call from the school to teach there.
His classes end up being fun and engaging because he cosplays during
them. Royal Dano plays Kenneth “Ditto”
Stiles, a teacher who simply passes out handouts to the students and sleeps
through his classes. It’s never made
clear how the normally unruly children act so civilized under these
conditions. He dies in his sleep, and
that’s the arc. Other cast members include
Lee Grant, William Schallert, Art Metrano, Madeleine Sherwood, Anthony Heald,
and Morgan Freeman as the school’s corrupt attorney.
The
music is generic 80’s pop with some good selections. Overall, the movie was disappointing, just
idealistic melodrama that provides no real solution to a complex problem, even
though it momentarily contains a justified swipe at unions. I didn’t exactly gain much by watching just
for the sake of a gimmick related to my birthday, and the sad thing is…
I was one day away from The Terminator.
