It took a while to watch my planned movies for this year,
and even then it’s not that complete.While I’m not the biggest fan of CGI,
three movies this year (Man of Steel,
Pacific Rim and Gravity) made it
work because the effects served the style of the movie. Seemed to be pretty good year for movie scores, too. I still haven’t gotten a chance to see Blue Ruin, Assaulted: Civil Rights Under Fire or Jodorowsky’s Dune yet, though.
I’ll have to wait until they’re on Netflix.
46. Thor: The Dark World
D: Alan Taylor
**********
Some clever
visuals and Frigga’s death is a surprise, but it’s mostly dull. The villain is one of those bland ones with a
half-hearted attempt at an understandable motivation. Christpher Eccleston is a fun actor, but he
either didn’t give a crap or he couldn’t act under heavy makeup. I would have liked to see less of Natalie
Portman and her friends and more of the Warriors Three. The movie was so unwatchable and forgettable that Ragnarok mercifully included a recap so we wouldn't have to watch it.
45.
My Little Pony: Equestria Girls
D: Jayson Thiessen
**********
Misses the point of the franchise and
the series. This travesty is one of the reasons why I consider myself
an
ex-brony.
44.
Alpha and Omega 2: A Howl-iday Adventure
D: Richard Rich
*
*********
While I was one of the few people who liked
the original,
this mediocre sequel has and off-putting art style and a poop joke bad
enough to knock the rating down to one star. The ending, absurdly
tacked-on as it may be has enough attempted heart to put the movie
over...
43. Oz the Great and Powerful
D: Sam Raimi
**********
A bland CGI blockbuster that only showed brief glimpses
of Raimi’s style, which would have benefitted more from drawing inspiration
from the books or Return to Oz than the
Judy Garland movie. I can comfortably
count Raimi as a fallen creator now.
42. World War Z
D: Marc Forster
**********
A generic zombie blockbuster that completely misses the
point of the book.
41. Elysium
D: Neill Blomkamp
**********
Not enough style or fun to make up for its simplistic
attempt at political commentary. Spider
gets some points for being the closest thing to a complex character in it, and
William Fichtner was enjoyably slimy.
40. Riddick
D: David Twohy
**********
A
forgettable, shallow and grotesquely orange movie about
a character whose novelty seems to have worn off. The female lead seems
to be a stereotypical lesbian...but, uh oh--she has the hots for
Riddick! This is the last time I take viewing tips
from Brad Jones.
39. Despicable Me 2
D: Pierre Coffin, Chris Renaud
**********
I didn’t particularly care for the first one, and I
didn’t care for this one.
38. Snowpiercer
D: Bong Joon-ho
****
******
Yet another generic High-Concept Sci-Fi Premise as Painfully Obvious Allegory for Class Warfare movie. The only interesting thing about this is how you fit a small, self-contained society onto a train.
37. The Lone Ranger
D: Gore Verbinski
**********
A very poorly paced blockbuster with awkward attempts at
humor and inconsistent tone. The framing
device of an old Tonto telling the story to a kid at a fair was awful. The best parts were William Fichtner as Butch
Cavendish and a fun final action scene.
Verbinski already made a fun, quirky Western with Rango, so this film was unnecessary.
36. A Good Day to Die Hard
D: John Moore
**********
A dull movie without any of the series’ character or
charm. I will concede that it has one of
the best chase scenes I’ve ever seen.
35. G.I. Joe: Retaliation
D: Jon M. Chu
**********
While I thought Rise
of Cobra was cheesy fun, this movie was simply bland. Still, Firefly (Ray Stevenson) was a fun
character, and they fixed Cobra Commander and Snake Eyes’ costumes. The worst part of the movie was how they
established good chemistry between Duke and Roadblock only to kill the former
off in the first ten minutes. I also
would have liked for them to mention that Roadblock is a gourmet chef at least
once.
34. American Hustle
D: David O. Russell
*******
***
A competent, forgettable movie that's respectably mundane.
33. Iron Man 3
D: Shane Black
**********
The plot is a bit of a jumble, and I’m not sure about the
big twist, but the movie is fun enough.
The interactions with Tony and that kid are surprisingly amusing, and
that’s something that could have easily been annoying. I didn’t like how many suits Tony switched
to. The suit seems to be part of his
character, and doing what they did diminished my enjoyment of the movie.
32. Planes
D: Klay Hall
**********
The movie’s protagonist, voiced by Dane Cook (a comedian
everyone despises for reasons I’m not quite clear on), is passably likable,
which gives it an edge over
both Cars movies.
I like the idea of
anthropomorphic planes, but the plot is clichéd.
The World War II flashback had some impact,
and I would have liked more focus on military aircraft.
Adhering to the Law of 3D Anthropomorphic
Movies, it has its obligatory fart/poop jokes, but it gets them out of the way
quick.
More uninspired than truly
terrible, though.
31. The Heat
D: Paul Feig
**********
Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy have great comic
chemistry in this movie.
Unfortunately,
like most mainstream comedies, this movie ditches the well-executed humor for a
formulaic and tedious plot where people mope around, make up and beat the bad
guys.
These movies should just stick to
what they’re good at: the comedy.
It
does have
one of the better posters in recent years.
30. Drew: The Man Behind the Poster
D: Erik Sharkey
**********
Provides great insight into rise of Drew Struzan.
While most of the
praise is deserved, this puff documentary sometimes indulges in absurd moments
of hyperbole.
Struzan’s
posters of The Muppets are described as
making the puppets look like real beings.
At one point they describe
his BladeRunner poster as being the definitive one for that movie, which I guess
would be news to
John Alvin.
29. Now You See Me
D: Louis Leterrier
**********
Could use more character development but it’s a simple,
well-paced popcorn movie with some clever magic tricks. Some good action, especially when it’s mixed
with illusions.
28. The Wolf of Wall Street
D: Martin Scorsese
**********
This three hour-long movie moves surprisingly fast
because of its energy (much of it coming from DiCaprio). The funniest movie I’ve seen this year. However, one problem I’ve always had with
Martin Scorsese’s movies is that I’ve never sympathized with the characters,
and this movie is no exception.
27. Rush
D: Ron Howard
**********
26. Milius
D: Joey Figueroa, Zak Knutson
**********
A decent puff documentary about the legendary screenwriter.
I would have liked to see interviews from the
Coen Brothers, especially considering that he was inspiration for Walter
Sobchak in
The Big Lebowski.
25. Frozen
D: Chris Buck, Jennifer Lee
**********
Although I still miss traditional animation, the
animation in this movie is artfully executed,
its music is great and its story
is above average by Disney standards.
Very few A-Listers in the voice cast, which was refreshing.
I like how effectively they executed
the
villain’s twist, which was very surprising.
Olaf wasn’t as annoying as I thought he would be, but I didn’t like how
they set up a tragic irony for him and wasted it.
I really, really HATED the Duke of Weselton;
he was
so irritating.
I also didn’t appreciate the stolen jokes
from
Arrested Development.
Considering all the buzz this movie is
getting, it may be an indication of a new Disney Renaissance.
24. Evil Dead
D: Fede Alvarez
**********
Not much to say about this movie other than it has great
gore effects.
23. The Man of Steel
D: Zack Snyder
**********
I acknowledge that the plot was poorly written, but I
thought it was really fun.
While most
people complained about the shakycam, I was actually relieved by the lack of
racking.
I think Christopher Nolan’s
involvement might have resulted in a movie that had all of Zack Snyder’s
strengths as a visual director and none of his weaknesses.
Creative visual style, action and a
phenomenal
score.
Oddly enough, the only reasonable
critiques of this movie I’ve seen on the internet are from the
Walker brothers
and
Confused Matthew of all f---ing people.
Seriously, people,
SUPERMAN WAS RIGHT TO KILL ZOD RIGHT THERE. I mean WTF, internet?
22. Pacific Rim
D: Guillermo del Toro
**********
The movie doesn’t have the greatest story, but it’s a
well-paced actioner with a
triumphant score, superb special effects and visual style. A lot doesn't make sense, and the movie doesn't do enough to develop its one idea.
Also Ron Perlman dressed like a pimp.
21. Gravity
D: Alfonso Cuaron
**********
While the effects and the thrills are great, this movie
lacks replay value because it’s all suspense and theater-grade visuals. Sandra Bullock is great and George Clooney
just shows up being George Clooney. I
normally don’t like 3D, but I’ve heard this was one movie to see it in.
20. Jodorowsky's Dune
D: Frank Pavich
**********
An insightful look into the influence of the seminal sci-fi movie that could have been.
19. Prisoners
D: Denise Villeneuve
**********
A solid thriller from a great director.
18. The Wolverine
D: James Mangold
**********
Surprisingly decent entry in a tired series. The best one since X2.
17. Escape Plan
D: Mikael Hafstrom
**********
A decent 80’s throwback movie and a far better one than The Expendables. Stallone and Arnold are fun enough to watch
together, but the real star of the movie is Jim Caviezel, who turns out to be
great at playing slimy villains.
16. The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
D: Peter Jackson
**********
Still too long and meandering, but it was a huge
improvement over the previous movie.
Less Nickelodeon humor, better action and Smaug looks awesome.
I thought I was going to hate the barrel
sequence, but it turned out to be pretty fun.
I like how the action scenes have less
hanging on the falling trees forever and more actual fighting.
15. The Counselor
D: Ridley Scott
**********
Though it wasn’t well-received, I thought it was a pretty
decent thriller.
It is a typical
guy-gets-in-over-his-head-and-it-doesn’t-end-well story, but what do you expect
from Cormac McCarthy? It makes me think twice about writing Scott off as a fallen creator. Has a
good score, too.
14. 12 Years a Slave
D: Steve McQueen
**********
One might say that we don’t need a movie to remind us
that slavery was bad, but this movie’s relevance is justified by Ford (Benedict
Cumberbatch), an almost-decent slaver who demonstrates how institutionalized
evil can seduce even the good-hearted.
Also, the movie is unique among historical films for its relative
accuracy.
I absolutely hate it when “historical”
movies make up slanderous crap for “dramatic effect.”
[cough] The movie boasts a great performance by
Chiwetel Ejiofor.
D: J.J. Abrams
**********
This movie is definitely flawed, but unlike most people I
found it incomparably more entertaining than its formulaic and overpraised
predecessor.
12. Gimme Shelter
D: Ron Krauss
**********
Has a good pro-life theme while treating the issue of
teen pregnancy seriously, making it very much like the anti-
Juno.
A good drama with a
solid cast.
11. The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
D: Francis Lawrence
**********
Visually stylish and compelling. RIP Philip Seymour Hoffman.
10. Trance
D: Danny Boyle
**********
Boyle redeems himself after that absurd Olympic ceremony
with this good psychological thriller.
Still, I don’t understand why
Elizabeth would
want to brainwash Simon into pulling a heist for her when she should just want
to get rid of his abusive ass.
Good score, too.
9. Pandora’s Promise
D: Robert Stone
**********
A good documentary about the advantages and exaggerated
dangers of nuclear power, which is useful considering the constant damage we do
to the environment with fossil fuels.
8. Blue Ruin
D: Jeremy Saulnier
**********
A brutal, subversive revenge flick in which things go wrong for the protagonist.
7. Oblivion
D: Joseph Kosinki
**********
While the iPod motif is faddish and I’ve seen the “you
are a clone” twist before, this was a refreshingly fun movie.
6. Inside Llewyn Davis
D: The Coen Bros.
**********
Aside from some disturbingly casual discussion of
abortion, the movie is funny and a good addition to the Coens’ filmography. I also love
this song.
5. The World’s End
D: Edgar Wright
**********
An inventive and original comedy that even has some
decent action. I like how the main
character’s stubbornness and arrested development is later shown to be similar
to humanity’s in the eyes of the aliens.
4. Enemy
D: Denise Villeneuve
**********
A creepy, symbolic art movie with great atmosphere.
3. Her
D: Spike Jonze
**********
A funny and smart exploration of what happens when a man
falls in love with a sapient AI. The
protagonist is alternately relatable and creepish, and his somewhat immature
understanding of love may be why he ends up in relationship with a computer in
the first place.
2. The Wind Rises
D: Hayao Miyazaki
**********
A masterpiece of animation and history. A good story of how a man's passion for aviation conflicts with the government's demands.
1. Only God Forgives
D: Nicholas Winding Refn
**********
A symbolic and effective deconstruction of a revenge
flick with the trappings of a Greek tragedy.
The excellent cinematography and
score provides an atmosphere that draws
you in.
