2016 Movie Preview

MOVIES I INTEND TO SEE

13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi

Jan 15

D: Michael Bay

Not the biggest fan of Michael Bay, but I’ll probably see this for no other reason than to spite people who are more offended that Michael Bay is making a movie about Benghazi than the thing itself.

                                                       

Kung Fu Panda 3

Jan 29

D: Jennifer Yuh Nelson, Alessandro Carloni

The trailers emphasize Po’s buffoonery, but the movies have always been more than that.  I’m a little worried since the villain seems to be played for laughs, though.

Deadpool

Feb 12

D: Tim Miller

Looks like a movie that does justice to a funny character.  However, considering that it’s a gunplay-heavy action comedy, I’m afraid of the direction it might take politically.  I hope this isn’t Shoot’em Up all over again. 

Zoolander No. 2

Feb 12

D: Ben Stiller

I love Zoolander, so I’ll momentarily lift my avoidance of comedians (the worst of the bad bunch that is Hollywood) to see this.  The trailer isn’t terribly funny (with the exception of “All is all”), but that’s not necessarily a bad sign with comedies.  I wouldn’t be too surprised if the movie sucks but receives the critical acclaim the first one should have gotten.  Zoolander pioneered this brand of quirky comedy, which seems to have gotten stale nowadays.

Zootopia

Mar 4

D: Byron Howard, Rich Moore

Not the first time Jason Bateman was turned into afurry.  It’s not like the anthros are a new thing, and Kung Fu Panda is a popular contemporary anthro movie, so what’s the big deal with this one?  I think it’s because this is Disney coming back to furry cartoons.  The company has been distancing itself from the image despite being one of the primary sources of the Fandom.  Now they’re consciously embracing it.  That’s why it’s making such a splash among furries.  It looks promising, but it might suck.  Heaven help you, Disney, if you make Jason Bateman unfunny.

Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice

Mar 25

D: Zack Snyder

I know Man of Steel wasn’t that good a movie, but I thought it was fun.  I may not like Zack Snyder’s penchant for intermittent speed during action scenes, but his art direction usually results in beautiful looking movies.  I also like Jeremy Irons and Jesse Eisenberg.  

Captain America: Civil War

May 6

D: Anthony & Joe Russo

I was surprised by how much I loved Winter Soldier.  It had the best action in the Marvel movie series, and I am completely on board with the Russo Bros.  Even more so now that Iron Man is involved.

Finding Dory

June 17

D: Andrew Stanton

Finding Nemo was a good movie, and the sequel will probably be good too.  I also like orcas.

Ghostbusters

July 15

D: Paul Feig

I know Ghostbusters is a classic, but I don’t mind it being remade with a female cast because I find Kristen Wiig and Melissa McCarthy funny.  I also love the new Ecto 1.

Suicide Squad

Aug 5

D: David Ayer

People may complain about how dark the DC movies are, but I like the grittiness.  It’s interesting how this world is exploring a world gone mad by the events of Man of Steel.  Jared Leto is perfectly cast as the Joker, even if the character design is questionable.   Funny, there were no superhero movies last year I intended to see, but this year there’s four.

Moana

Nov 23

D: Ron Clements, John Musker

I don’t like how these directors are now doing a 3D animated film, but I’m sure it will be good.

THE MAYBES

Ratchet and Clank

Apr 29

D: Jerrica Cleland, Kevin Munroe

Who knows?  This might actually be a good video game movie.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows

June 3

D: Dave Clark

As much as I hate what Michael Bay did to my childhood with “Transformers,” this looks like a faithful adaptation of the cartoon.  

Warcraft

June 17

D: Duncan Jones

The premise is interesting; I like the orcs’ being depicted in a sympathetic light.  There isn’t enough of that in high fantasy.  The CGI in the trailer looks awful and the cinematography looks inept, though.  Duncan Jones is a good director but maybe he’s out of his element in this genre.

Independence Day: Resurgence

Jun 24

D: Roland Emmerich

So they’re making a sequel to Independence Day.  This seems odd because I was pretty sure they stated that the entire alien race was on that ship.  It’s also odd that Brent Spiner is listed as a cast member, because I’m pretty sure his character died.  Maybe the aliens will raise the dead like in Plan 9 From Outer Space.  Most of the reasons I liked the first one (the use of practical effects and the fact that it came out when I was 11) won’t apply to this one.  Still, the idea of the humans having reverse-engineered alien technology to even the odds makes this slightly interesting. 

The Secret Lives of Pets

July 8

D: Chris Renaud, Yarrow Cheney

Looks meh, but a maybe.

Pete’s Dragon

Aug 12

D: David Lowery

I’m not the biggest fan of Disney’s bland, pseudodark live-action remakes of its animated classics (I’m looking at you, Maleficent), but I’m not really familiar with the original Pete’s Dragon.  Hopefully they’ll fix the dragon’s design, which I was never too fond of.

Storks

Aug 23

D: Nicholas Stoller, Doug Sweetland

Don’t know anything about this, but I like Kelsey Grammer.

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Nov 18

D: David Yates

I thought we were done with Harry Potter.  Oh well, this might be worth checking out.

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

Dec 18

D: Gareth Edwards

I know that Star Wars has always been overcommercialized, but I always liked to think that at least the movies were a special occasion, good or bad.  A plethora of spin-offs would just make things even more banal.

Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children

Dec 25

D: Tim Burton

I had already written Tim Burton off, there’s an off-chance he might redeem himself.  At least I can dream.

MOVIES I PROBABLY WILL NOT SEE

Gods of Egypt

Feb 26

D: Alex Proyas

You know what?  Maybe I should have put Alex Proyas on this list.

The Jungle Book

April 15

D: Jon Favreau

Another unnecessary live-action remake from Disney.  At least we’ve perfected live-action talking animals now.  I love Bill Murray, but he is grossly miscast as Baloo.  If you’re going to have a celebrity voice him, you should have gone back to John Goodman.  Still, I think it is funny to think of Bill Murray Baloo hearing that Mowgli has been kidnapped by monkeys and just not giving a shit.

The Huntsman: Winter’s War

Apr 22

D: Cedric Nicolas-Troyan

I like the monochromatic look, but it looks like generic live-action gritty reboot dreck.

Snowden

May 13

D: Oliver Stone

Not really interested in a puff piece on Snowden made by a left-wing conspiracy theorist.

The Angry Birds Movie

May 20

D: Clay Kaytis, Fergal Reilly

A movie based on a video game I’ve never played nor ever had any intention of playing.

Alice Through the Looking Glass

May 27

D: James Bobin

Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland was so bad I’m surprised a sequel even got greenlit.  Lots of 3D garbage cinematography by the look of it.  The design of the villain looks good, though.

X-Men: Apocalypse

May 27

D: Bryan Singer

I didn’t like Days of Future Past.  They should probably just let this series die.

The Purge 3

July 1

D: James DeMonaco

The series’ premise was about how supporting the NRA and Tea Party are somehow like making crime legal for a night.  I’m not kidding, that’s literally the logicbehind these movies.

Ice Age: Collision Course

July 22

D: Mike Thurmeier, Galen T. Chu

I never really liked this series that much.

Star Trek Beyond

July 22

D: Justin Lin

Star Trek made by the director of Fast and Furious?  I’m not the biggest fan of the new Star Trek movies, but this looks like total garbage.

Ben-Hur

Aug 12

D: Timur Bekmambetov

Now here’s an answer to a question nobody asked: Let’s make a remake of Ben-Hur with action scenes that randomly slow down and speed up!  (Yes, I know Ben-Hur was a remake, too)

Sly Cooper

Sep 25

D: Kevin Munroe

I love the games, but I never really thought the story had the potential for a movie adapation.  The animation lacks the stylized look of the source material.  And dear Gosh, Murray, what did they do to you? 

Underworld: Next Generation

Oct 21

D: Anna Foerster

Not much more explanation needed for why I’m not rushing out to see this one.

Trolls

Nov 4

D: Mike Mitchell

This has got to be the most absurdly belated movie adaptation since The Simpsons Movie.  I mean this is at least 20 years too late.  I never liked troll dolls anyway.

The Bond Movies Ranked

With the release of Spectre, I’ve decided to do a full ranking of the Bond movies. 

28. Octopussy

1983

Roger Moore

D: John Glen

**********

One of the more forgettable Bonds.  The only really memorable things about this entry are the buzzsaw yo-yo and the fact that Bond dresses up like a clown (a nuclear bomb was about to go off, so he dressed up like a sad clown).  Exiled Prince Guy may be the most forgettable Bond villain in the franchise.

 

27. For Your Eyes Only

1981

Roger Moore

D: John Glen

**********

It has its moments, but it’s pretty dull.  The plot seems underdeveloped despite its plodding runtime.  The villain is only memorable in that he’s played by Julian Glover, whom I know from stuff.  The subplot involving his ice-skating client is particularly pointless.  I was promised from hype that I’d get a deconstruction of revenge movies, but Bond only half-heartedly discourages the Bond girl (a relatively strong one to the movie’s credit) with a platitude, and her revenge is taken from her. This is hypocritical considering how the first scene involves Bond’s gleefully (and anticlimactically) killing Blofeld after paying his respects to his dead wife.  I get the feeling that the franchise at the time was just a way to see if people would watch the same movie over and over again.  While not as maddeningly wrong as Wolfen, For Your Eyes Only was bland enough to supplant that movie as my least favorite of 1981. 

26. Moonraker

Roger Moore

1979

D: Lewis Gilbert

**********

Some memorable parts, but a very slow watch and a pathetic attempt to ride Star Wars’ coattails.  Oddly enough, Jaws’ redemptive relationship may be one of the more compelling romances in the series.

25. Thunderball

Sean Connery

1965

D: Terence Young

**********

Raw Footage: The Movie.  Though it started out okay, it’s one of the most poorly-paced and dull movies I’ve ever sat through.  Then again, I was watching this with a group of people, resulting in a reinforcement loop of our complaining about how boring the movie was.  That’s probably why it’s so low on the list.

24. License to Kill

1989

Timothy Dalton

D: John Glen

**********

Another attempt to make Bond serious, but it lacks any of the style and fun the franchise is known for.  It seems more like a generic, forgettable revenge flick than a true Bond film.  Timothy Dalton, however, is an underrated Bond.

23. Die Another Day

2002

Pierce Brosnan

D: Lee Tamahori

**********

It has some fun moments, but it’s way too silly and over-the-top. 

22. Live and Let Die

1973

Roger Moore

D: Guy Hamilton

**********

Standard Roger Moore fare with a Blaxploitation twist.  Some style and a couple memorable characters (Tee Hee and Baron Samedi), but mostly dull.  I never thought I would be so bored by a chase scene.  That boat chase lasted over twenty minutes. 

21. Casino Royale

1967

David Niven (Non-EON)

D: Ken Hughes, Jon Huston, Joseph McGrath, Robert Parrish, Val Guest, Richard Talmadge

**********

One of the most visually stylish Bond movies, but it got killed by poor pacing, pointless sideplots, and cringeworthy attempts at humor that far outnumbered the good jokes.  Watch Austin Powers instead.

 20. On Her Majesty’s Secret Service

1969

George Lazenby

D: Peter R. Hunt

**********

Gets a point for attempting to add some depth to the character, but it was pretty underwhelming.  George Lazenby is awkward as Bond, but I prefer him over Roger Moore.

19. The World Is Not Enough

1999

Pierce Brosnan

D: Michael Apted

**********

When I saw this as a 14-year-old, it was my favorite Bond movie.  But now that I get the bad double entendres, I find it irritating because there are so damn many of them.  Shame, because it’s an otherwise fun movie.  I think Renard is an underrated villain.  Christmas Jones isn’t the worst Bond girl, but she probably gets a lot of flak because the movie was made in 1999, when people should have known better, and immediately followed two movies that featured rather strong protagonists. 

18. The Man With the Golden Gun

1974

Roger Moore

D: Guy Hamilton

**********

It’s an okay movie with some moments of style, but it had a bit too much goofiness and an anticlimactic ending.  If he had more screentime, JW Pepper (Clifton James) would win the Penguin Award for characters who single-handedly ruined their own movies.  GoldenEye should have had a multiplayer feature in which the winner was whoever hot to kill an NPC JW the most number of times.  Scaramanga (Christopher Lee) was an interesting villain who deserved a better movie.  

17. Never Say Never Again

1983

Sean Connery (Non-EON)

D: Irvin Kershner

**********

Irvin Kershner went from making the best sequel ever made to making, well, RoboCop 2.  Never Say Never Again is somewhere in between.  It’s basically a flawed but more watchable remake of Thunderball. 

16. The Living Daylights

1987

Timothy Dalton

D: John Glen

**********

Not particularly good, but it did have a pretty good chase scene.  The movie features something that makes every Northrop F-5 that has ever been passed off as a MiG in a movie feel better about itself: a Russian C-130.  To make things worse, there’s an RAF C-130 earlier in the movie! 

15. Spectre

2015

Daniel Craig

D: Sam Mendes

**********

Made the mistake of concluding the reboot like a trilogy.  Then again even the worst Craig Bond is still watchable.  I didn't like how they tried to contrive a connection between Spectre and Silva, who seemed to be working on his own.  I liked Silva because he was a villain who achieves his goal in the end.  This movie might have demoted him to an unreliable henchman.

14. No Time to Die

2021

Daniel Craig

D: Cary Joji Fukunaga

**********

Another mess, but Rami Malek is born to play a creepy, megalomaniacal Bond villain.

13. Casino Royale (Climax!)

1954

Barry Nelson

D: William H. Brown, Jr.

**********

Decent enough for what it was, but it’s a little dated and the ending is very watered-down.  Barry Nelson is pretty good, and anything with Peter Lorre in it isn’t all bad.

12. You Only Live Twice

1967

Sean Connery

D: Lewis Gilbert

**********

The majority of the movie is like a dull commercial for tourism in Japan, the Toyota GT, and unsuccessful small arms designs.  It gets more fun in the end with Donald Pleasance’s iconic portrayal as Blofeld and an epic final showdown.  While the movie does make the aesthetic contribution to cinema by putting a villain’s base in a volcano, I’d rather watch Austin Powers, which is pretty much like a more consistently fun version of this film.

11. Diamonds Are Forever

1971

Sean Connery

D: Guy Hamilton

**********

A pretty solid movie, but it did have some annoyingly silly moments (I could have done without the moon buggy chase).  I liked Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd.

10. Goldfinger

1964

Sean Connery

D: Guy Hamilton

**********

It has many of the flaws of earlier Bonds, but it’s consistently gimmicky and memorable enough to be a classic.  Also introduced the iconic DB5.

9. From Russia with Love

1963

Sean Connery

D: Terence Young

**********

It’s a classic movie that introduced many classic Bond tropes.  However, I found it poorly paced, and the action was underwhelming.  Then again, after sitting through most of the Roger Moore movies, it doesn’t seem so bad any more. 

8. A View to a Kill

1985

Roger Moore

D: John Glen

**********

A relatively effective action movie with a memorably vile villain played by Christopher Walken.

7. Skyfall

2012

Daniel Craig

D: Sam Mendes

**********

An excellent entry in the Daniel Craig era.  Thanks to Roger Deakins, this movie has the best cinematography in the franchise, with the possible exception of Casino Royale (1967).  Javier Bardem plays an extremely charismatic and fun villain.  Still, Silva’s similarity to Trevelyan and some moments of annoying semi-meta put this one below… 

6. Tomorrow Never Dies

1997

Pierce Brosnan

D: Roger Spottiswoode

**********

An overall solid and fun movie, but it’s brought down by a villain who’s not much more than an obvious straw version of Ted Turner Bill Gates Rupert Murdoch Robert Maxwell.  The BMW 750iL is the best Bond car after the DB5.  I might have spoken too soon when I criticized the Bill Gates reference.  

5. The Spy Who Loved Me

1977

Roger Moore

D: Lewis Gilbert

**********

Unlike most of the Roger Moore films, it cultivates a sense of creativity and fun throughout the whole film, as opposed to saving it all for the last twenty minutes.  Memorable villains (especially Jaws).  The unfortunately named XXX is built up in a promising way, but she’s reduced to a damsel in the last scene.  Bond’s brutal, satisfying execution of Stromberg actually makes Moore look briefly like Bond, but the final showdown in Atlantis is a relative letdown.  The Lotus is definitely one of the better Bond cars.

4. Quantum of Solace

2008

Daniel Craig

D: Marc Forster

**********

Daniel Craig seems to be the only Bond who doesn’t have any movies that suck.  I seem to be in the minority of people who like this movie.  Everyone else seems to hate this film, but I found it to be a pretty good continuation of Casino Royale’s story, and the chase scene at the beginning was great.

3. Dr. No

1962

Sean Connery

D: Terence Young

**********

A good introduction to the series.  It establishes the atmosphere and setting well.  The villain is memorable, and you have to credit it with introducing Sean Connery as the Bond we all know and love.

2. Casino Royale

2006

Daniel Craig

D: Martin Campbell

**********

A wildly successful attempt to bring seriousness and grit to the series.  Daniel Craig is a surprisingly good Bond.  This movie improves upon the novella drastically and brings Bond back to his roots as a brutal, cold killer.  Despite this, the movie successfully humanizes him, which most of the preceding material failed to do.

1. GoldenEye

1995

Pierce Brosnan

D: Martin Campbell

**********

Honestly, this movie holds up very well.  It has great action and it balances depth with Bond gimmickry well.  Trevelyan (Sean Bean) is my favorite Bond villain because of his past with Bond.  He’s a match for him as a spy and he’s an example of Bond’s actions catching up with him.  The movie correctly casts Bond as cold-blooded killer, but it acknowledges his imperfections.  Natalya my favorite Bond, she’s a believable co-protagonist and is refreshingly unsexualized.  Pierce Brosnan was a great choice for the role, but his movies went downhill from there. 

Some general observations about the series:

-Bond really isn’t that compelling a character, at least at first.  In the first movies it was Sean Connery’s charisma helped keep things afloat, but there was little evidence of his humanity outside the occasional interaction with Moneypenny.  There were some early attempts to give him depth, but none of these succeeded until late in the game.

-While watching the earlier Bonds, I really liked Q, M and Moneypenny as characters.  I wish they had more screentime.

-A substantial portion of the earlier Bonds have a problem with dragging plots concluded with 10-20 minutes of creativity.  The Roger Moore ones are particularly bad about this.  This isn’t justified by cerebral character development or anything.  Also, the villains tend to get too little screen time.  Then again, I am a Millennial, and the Pierce Brosnan movies corrupted me into thinking that Bond movies were supposed to be well-paced and fun.

-This is especially bad when you consider that these movies rarely run under 2 full hours.

-Sean Connery is the best Bond because he made us love the character despite some of the movies' shortcomings.  His movies are generally good except for Thunderball.

-Roger Moore seems to be good actor, but he’s hopelessly miscast as Bond.  It doesn’t help that the Moore movies are plagued by forced silliness in the form of bad double entendres, obviously intertextual soundtracks, and cartoon sound effects.  Spy Who Loved Me and A View to a Kill are the only Moore Bonds I recommend.

-Timothy Dalton is pretty good, but he got shortchanged in the series with two lackluster films.

-Pierce Brosnan is a close second to Connery.  All his movies are fun, but the quality was downhill from GoldenEye.

-Craig isn't the best Bond, but his era is the best.  I like all his movies.

-Watching these movies in tandem for this list was a bit of a chore.  That may be a contributing reason to my not enjoying many of them.

-GoldenEye 64 is better than all the movies.

Sexiest (Human) Cartoon Women

I’ve already done my dirty furry list, now here’s the more “well-adjusted” version. 

24. STARFIRE

Hynden Walch, Teen Titans

Her alien mannerisms and relative naïvete about Earth customs are amusing, but she’s a strong fighter who is very supportive of her friends.

 22. SELINA KYLE/CATWOMAN

Adrienne Barbeau, Batman: The Animated Series

A classic.  A sultry cat burglar who can make Batman fall head over heels in love.

 21. RAVEN

Tara Strong, Teen Titans

Raven’s goth-like demeanor makes her the funny-serious member of the team, but her outward cynicism doesn’t stop her from fighting the good fight.

 20. ESMERALDA

Demi Moore, The Hunchback of Notre Dame

An exotic beauty with some really piercing green eyes (probably gets the award for sexiest eyes).  Though conventionally beautiful, it’s Esmerelda’s bravery and willingness to stand up to everyone for Quasimodo that makes her truly appealing.

 19. TIANA

Anika Noni Rose, The Princess and the Frog

Intelligent, mature and business-minded protagonist of a particularly beautifully-animated film. 

 18. PRINCESS FIONA

Cameron Diaz, Shrek

Fiona tries to play the role of the damsel in distress, but she can’t help but subvert the role in cool and funny ways.  Also has BBW appeal as an ogre.  Might be a little bit on the Uncanny Valley side, though.

 17. WONDER WOMAN

Susan Eisenberg/Keri Russell, Justice League/Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman (real name Diana) is a strong, tough fighter with a memorably dry demeanor.  She’s an Amazon, so her reactions to our patriarchal culture are interesting and sometimes amusing.

 16. FA MULAN

Ming-Na Wen, Mulan

In order to save her crippled father, Mulan joins the military at great risk to herself.  Through strength, perseverance, and some cleverness, she manages to single-handedly save China from a brutal warlord.

 15. NAOMI MISORA

Asaka Seto/Nicole Oliver, Death Note

This one actually kinda pisses me off.  Here we have a female character who (1) has a good backstory which gives her motivation to fight Kira (2) is described as a great detective (3) is a much-needed female protagonist in a show dominated by male characters and (4) has a great character design.  Instead, she is killed off as soon as the chance comes up.  This wouldn’t be so bad if Death Note had a solid female cast, but instead the fairer sex is primarily represented by Misa.  The only woman who fights the good fight and survives isn’t even really a character.  I don’t even think she has a line.

 

14. PEARL

Deedee Magno Hall, Steven Universe

Pearl is the intellectual of the group.  She makes up for her lack of brute strength in grace, skill and precision.  I’m not that far into the series, but she apparently displays some angst later on.

 13. MALEFICENT

Eleanor Audley, Sleeping Beauty

Possibly the best villainess in movie history.  She’s sinister, imposing, and witty, and she also turns into a dragon.

 12. GRANNY

Fune Foray/Stephanie Courtney, The Looney Tunes Show

Do you know why Looney Tunes Show is cool?  Well, one reason is that Granny was reimagined as a World War II spy.  And there are some people who don’t like this show.  However, I’d say the voice of young granny wasn’t well cast.

 11. POISON IVY

Diane Pershing, Batman: The Animated Series

In addition to a sexy villain, Dr. Pamela Isley is disturbingly crazy.  She literally values the lives of plants over those of people.  Just watch the terror she displays when Batman sets fire to some.  Even more unsettling was her idea of reforming and starting a family. 

 10. THE BARONESS

Morgan Lofting, G.I. Joe

Anastasia DeCobray is about a bad as a femme fatale as you’d want.  An accomplished spy and fighter, she also looks great in a black catsuit and glasses.  She also has a great relationship with Destro. 

 9. LADY EBOSHI

Yūko Tanaka/Minnie Driver, Princess Mononoke

A uniquely complex villainess.  Eboshi is an enemy of the forest spirits, but her compassion for vulnerable humans is undeniable.  She’s a strong character who doesn’t hesitate to fight for what she believes is right.

 8. ASAMI SATO

Seychelle Gabriel, The Legend of Korra

In addition to looking beautiful and dressing nicely, Asami fills the badass normal role in a show filled with Chi benders.  She also gets some admiration for fighting the good fight even after finding out her father was an Equalist.

 7. CYBERSIX

Cathy Weseluck, Cybersix

A superhuman experiment who fights against the machinations of her evil creator.  In an interesting twist, she poses as a male literature teacher named Adrian Seidelman. 

 6. SCARLET OVERKILL

Sandra Bulloch, Minions

While I haven’t seen this movie due to my lack of affection for the series and the title characters, I am intrigued by this villainess.  She’s a feminist icon in the world of villainy, and in one scene, we see her as a wolf.

 5. RALLY VINCENT

Michiko Neya/Amanda Winn Lee, Gunsmith Cats

A great design, and I like a girl who’s good with guns.

 4. CALENDAR GIRL

Sela Ward, The New Batman Adventures

Supermodel Paige Monroe was cast aside by the industry and took revenge on her former employers with the help of some Chippendalesque henchmen.  She wears a great costume (with different color schemes) with a mask, and she refuses to let people see her face.  It’s implied that she was disfigured by desperate plastic surgery abuse, but when we finally see her she’s beautiful.  She recoils in horror, prompting Batman to tell Robin, “She can no longer see that.  She only sees the flaws.”

 3. SHEGO

Nicole Sullivan, Kim Possible

Curvacious with a  great costume, but I mostly love her for her nonstop snark toward her buffoonish boss.

 2. GARNET

Estelle, Steven Universe

In addition to having some great curves, Garnet may be one of my favorite funny-serious characters.

 1. ELASTIGIRL

Holly Hunter, The Incredibles

A great superheroine who’s also a dedicated mother.  Helen Parr, née Thuax, is also clever and can pilot a plane, too boot.  Oh, yeah,  she also has a great booty, too.