Maybe I Am Being Nostalgic.

Independence Day

1996

D: Roland Emmerich

**********

Pros: Special Effects, Characters, Plot Structure, Comic Relief Score

Cons: Clumsy Pandering, Fridge Logic

 

 

      I feel bad about missing the exact date of the 25^th anniversary of one of my biggest nostalgic movies, but I had to do something, even if it is a bit late.  1996 was the year my childhood peaked, right before it all went downhill with the onset of pubescent cynicism.  And Indedpendence Day was the movie of that summer.  It was an event, and it was years before I finally found out…some people hate this movie.  I was baffled, but soon came to understand why.  For a while, like many, a was apologetic over it, citing it as a guilty pleasure.  But after time, like many, I became more secure and I currently maintain that, for all its cheesiness, Independence Day is a solid popcorn movie.  The backlash triggered its own backlash.  And without much further ado, I’ll get started on the best space movie starring Bill Pullman or Brent Spiner.

       The movie begins with a massive alien spaceship’s parking over the moon (without causing much effect on earth’s tides despite being a quarter as heavy as our satellite), and everyone’s reaction to the phenomenon.  At first, they don’t know for sure what’s going on as giant fireballs hover close over the land.  As it turns out, those fireballs were exhaust for giant 15-mile-wide ships that stop over major cities.  Panic ensues as people flee L.A., New York City, and D.C.  This first act is very well executed in the way that it builds up tension slowly while introducing characters and their arcs.  It was tolerably dull for me as a kid.  So we have an effective buildup that leads up to an epic spectacle of action involving an alien invasion.  This is one of the myriad reasons I was not impressed by “Transformers.”  Because I already saw this done better 11 years prior.  Amazingly, in defiance of both nostalgia and logic, many reviewers who hated this movie liked “Transformers!”

       Like X2, this movie actually does an impressive job of weaving a seemingly ridiculous number of character arcs together; even genuinely better movies have trouble with that.  There isn’t a clear protagonist, but the closest one would be David Levinson (a Jewish Jeff Goldblum), a cable repairman who figures out the aliens’ attack code and warns President Whitmore (Bill Pullman) and Co. to escape DC in the nick of time.  He’s assisted by his father Julius  (an even more Jewish Judd Hirsch).  The President’s staff includes Stephen’s ex-wife Constance (Margaret Colin).  

       Also important is Captain Stephen Hiller (Will Smith), an F/A-18 pilot who fights in an initial counterattack and later pilots an alien fighter in the finale after convincing the president and his staff that he’s qualified to do so simply because he saw them flying (get used to the criticisms, there’s going to be a lot of them).  His girlfriend Jasmine (Vivica A. Fox) is a stripper working to support her son Dylan (Ross Bagley) and eventually bands together a bunch of LA survivors after ducking in corner of a tunnel while giant fireball had the courtousy to pass by (that corner would still have been a pressure cooker).  Luckily, her dog Boomer (Dakota) also survives.  Stephen and David eventually infiltrate the alien mothership so that the latter can upload a virus of his own devising to do nothing more than disable the aliens’ deflector shields, giving the Earthlings a fighting chance in an air battle.  After having been cornered by Windows 10 into buying a Mac by default, I can find assurance in the knowledge that I can use it to hack alien spaceships even if I can't do VRChat.  Reflecting they’re linked fates, David makes up with his ex-wife and silently un-divorces her during Stephen and Jasmine’s impromptu wedding.   

       Before this plan is hatched, the president reluctantly orders a nuclear strike to destroy a ship, but its shields successfully repel the nuke.  This scene probably features the most unbelievable deceit of this movie: the idea that Houston can actually be evacuated in a timely manner.  Then again, maybe they only claimed to evacuate it.  Then again, why did they wait until the ship was already over another city?  I’m not sure what they mean by “visual confirmation” or how that fakeout even worked.  Despite this clear failure, the Secretary of Defense (James Rebhorn) insists on trying again for some reason, and this is rejected.  David passes undue judgment on the president for using nukes over American soil, but this did seem like a reasonable response considering the situation.

         The other primary arc involves Russell Casse (Randy Quaid), a half-crazed Vietman pilot turned crop-duster who was once abducted by the aliens.  His failures as a functional adult put him at odds with his lock-key oldest son (James Duval), who plays the role of responsible adult in the family, but he’s eventually vindicated by his crazy stories’ being confirmed and his eventual heroic kamikaze into an alien ship.  In contrast to those of most actors, Quaid's roles seem to accurately reflect how nutty he is in real life.  He probably even believes he can hypnotize yodeling.  One apparent sign of White Privilege is how everyone pretended that Will Smith said "Welcome to Erf" when he clearly said "Earth" while ignoring how unintelligible Randy Quaid was when you yelled at the aliens ship.  I always thought he said, "In the words of my dinner runneth." 

            In addition to the more serious arcs, the movie actually has good comic relief characters.  First is David’s father, who has an amusing chemistry with his son, and then there’s Dr. Okun (Brent Spiner), as the United States Assistant Secretary for Health an eccentric Area 51 scientist.  A little divisive is David's boss, Marty (Harvey Fierstein).  He's a such a campy gay role that we're almost supposed to be amused when he meets his end.  This ignores the fact that he's an actually pretty likable person.  He treats his employees his respect, and is a pretty nice guy, well, aside from his apparent apathy toward his lawyer's life.

         As for Area 51, it’s one of the most absurd deceits of the movie.  You see, the movie makes the claim that the existence of Area 51 itself is a rumor.  I mean, there have always been rumors about what goes on in Area 51, but there is little controversy that there is Top Secret Air Force base in the middle of Nevada that you’re not allowed to go to.  Even the president claims “there is no Area 51” until until the SecDef corrects him.  When Russell and his RV caravan are crossing the salt flats, they observe that “it ain’t on a map” when prompted to go there.  You mean the map doesn’t have drawn out zone that says, “Don’t Go Here?”  Still, much like Crispin Glover and this incident, the US Government never officially acknowledged it until 2013.  The mere mention of Area 51 was the military's reason that they revoked their aid for the movie.  I suppose this is why the Air Force's primary air superiority fighter is apparently the McDonnell Douglas F/A-18.  

          One of the flaws of this movie (unless you want to see it as crazy awesome), is the patriotic pandering that is almost insulting.  However, the only time it gets really bad is a montage that heavily implies that everyone else in the world has been literally waiting for America to come up with a plan.  It’s like movie version of all the semi-ironic Murrica memes you see on the internet.

         President Whitmore’s speech does unwittingly(?) subvert this.  It’s a rousing one that many pretend not to be moved by, but some might have a problem with the suggestion that the ideals of freedom on which the country would be founded on would be supplanted by a desperate act for survival.  In recent years I’ve become more upper-right quadrant, so suppose it doesn’t bother me as much now.  Love it or hate it, it’s vanity to think America is some divinely ordained thousand-year nation, anyway.  Bill Pullman is a bit wooden but he comes through in scenes like this.  One of the few improvements of the sequel is that he’s genuinely much better in it.  

          Other cast members include Robert Loggia as General William Grey, Mary McDonnell as the First Lady, Adam Baldwin as Major Mitchell, and a you Mae Whitman as the First Daughter.  She has cute scene with Dylan in which the bond over their fear that actually nicely foreshadows their friendship/professional partnership in the sequel.  Harry Connick, Jr. plays clownish fighter pilot who ends up ignoring proper flight-handling and dies.

          The special effects are wonderful, and this movie shows what you could do with practical models.  It’s every bit as ambitious in scale as a modern CGI blockbuster, but it looks better and has aged beautifully, aside from some tolerably noticeable bluescreen effects.  It has some wonky moments, like when the US Capitol literally explodes from the inside when engulfed by a larger explosion.  Even when I was a kid I was bothered by the crooked perspective of that one helicopter in front of the White House; it was apparently added later for some reason.  One of the main reasons I don’t care for the sequel is its more generic CGI.

          David Arnold’s score is both foreboding and triumphant.  The design of the aliens and their ships (Oliver Scholl and Patrick Tatopoulos) is great, and their technology has a pretty blue glow to boot.  Their tactics, however are questionable.  They hijack our satellites to communicate with each other instead of dispatching their own, which is how David decodes their intentions, and they don’t close the doors on their superweapon (the only weak spot) until all the F-18’s are taken out.  Instead of glassing entire areas from orbit, starting with all of earth’s military centers, they go right down to the atmosphere, the only space their barely-space-age quarry could possibly fight back.  

          The earthlings also make questionable decisions.  Unable to communicate with the aliens at first, they’ve decided to send a helicopter up to flash bright lights in their faces (this is when the aliens show their cards by blowing the chopper up).  When an Area 51 guard attempt to turn away, Stephen convinces him otherwise by simply showing him the body of an unconscious alien, and rhetorically asks if he should just leave it there (which should have backfired on him).  There’s also an assumption that Area 51 is deep enough underground that it would be out of reach for a superweapon that was able to take out NORAD (the first time I heard about the place).  The president insists on flying in the final battle.  And everybody uses up their missiles even though they need them to take out the ship (doesn’t Area 51 have SAM’s?).  This necessitates Russell’s sacrifice.     

          Independence Day is corny and heavily flawed in many ways.  It also has a dubious legacy of inspiring multiple mindless disaster movies, some of the more tiresome ones made by Emmerich himself.  The underwhelming sequel could have taken it to the next level with a full-blown space conflict, but it instead chose to set the reset button and tease that better idea for a threequel that will probably never come.  The first movie certainly won’t stand up to logistical-style reviewing, but it’s fun, well-paced, has good plot structure, likable characters with effective arcs, good comic relief, and arguably the most based line in action movie history. What more do you want from a popcorn movie?                      

"Put the Belt on Her, Then She'll Be Belt Woman"

Terminator 2: Judgment Day

1991

D: James Cameron

**********

Pros: Direction, Action, Score, Characters

Cons: Not as Tight as the First Movie, Some Tone Problems

 

 

       This is the 30^th anniversary of Terminator 2, a movie many people site as their favorite blockbuster and (wrongly) assert to be the quintessential example of an improved sequel.  In fact, this is a movie that many people will forgive for its alleged flaws.  In recent years, I’ve learned of the error of logistical nitpick film criticism, and yet even those reviewers always give this movie a pass.  I suppose that might betray a sort of hypocrisy.

        Now before I discuss this movie’s synopsis, I want to make a little speech concerning spoilers.  It really annoys me when people argue that there’s some kind of statute of limitations for them, that if enough time has passed, they can say whatever they want.  It’s an example of one's annoyingly trying to defend a lack of consideration as if they’re standing up for some principle of etiquette.  It’s like the people who complain about babies on airplanes; there must be a term for this.  I say, if someone is lucky enough to watch a classic movie blind, then don’t ruin it for them; that person is a rare, beautiful flower and I envy them.  That being said, the first act of the movie has a decidedly effective twist with well-executed misdirection.

         Taking place years after the events of the first movie, T2 focuses on protection of a young John Connor (Edward Furlong) when a second T-800 (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is sent back in time.  The twist is that this one has been reprogrammed by the resistance to protect him from the T-1000 (Jason Patrick), a more advanced Terminator made of liquid metal that can imitate any person it touches.  This model is even more impervious to gunfire and can form itself into any shape at its convenience.

        The movie does a great job of hiding this fact from the viewer until a great reveal in which both converge on John.  I wish I could have appreciated this, but the movie’s toy commercials made no effort to cover things up for my childhood self.  Robert Patrick is unassuming enough to work decoy protagonist while consistently coming off as the cold-blooded killer he is (he still shows a slight sardonic demeanor and kills at least twice out of annoyance).  He’s a more sophisticated model in contrast to the 800’s being a tank.  Arnold is enjoyable as always in the role while being allowed to show some personality after he is reprogrammed to adapt to learning experiences by the heroes.  One scene I have a problem with is Arnold’s introduction in the biker bar.  First, I find it odd that he doesn’t murder anyone in there despite having no reason not to.  Later in the movie John has to stop him from killing a random person, and has to tell him not to kill without reason (It makes sense for a Terminator to act within its nature while pursuing a different primary objective, but not so such programming it to obey your childhood self.).  This softer approach not only lessens the tone, but somewhat spoils the otherwise good misdirection.  The absurdly unserious use of George Thorogood’s “Bad to the Bone,” while synced well with the movements onscreen, doesn’t help, either.  Terminator's use of "Burnin' in the Third Degree" made sense while being more tense.

       This scene also solidified a meme that would plague all subsequent Terminator movies: the Terminator must wear leather and sunglasses.  It made sense in the setting, but it has a certain artificiality to it that underscores how the first movie is still the best in the series.  In that movie the T-800 began its mission in a bulky punk jacket.  Being seen and injured in public during the first shootout compelled it to cut its hair, hide its damaged eye with shades, and don a slimming leather jacket, all which was surprisingly effective as a disguise.  The plot is what drove the stylistic choice.  Little things like that make the first movie work better as a self-contained film of its own.  Another example of this is a decidedly cringe forced slang that feels like a unsuccessful attempt to start another meme.  John attempts to train the Terminator to talk more organically by sayings things like ”Hasta la vista, baby,” and the Terminator, of course, mimics it.  The phrase never really caught on outside its association with the movie.  It’s one of those examples in which the work was so popular it even made like a bad part of it.  Not exactly the naturally great line that was “I’ll be back.”    

      Still, Terminator 2 adds a lot with its seemingly gimmicky twist.  The Terminator develops as a character.  It’s a rare movie which gives us the scenario of a heroic version of a cool villain while making it work.   After the T-800 rescues John, he reluctantly assists the boy in rescuing Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton) from a mental hospital before she is acquired by the T-1000.  Connor has also evolved from the normal young woman in the first movie to a tough, lean fighter.  Her attempts to raise John as a future savior of mankind have branded her a crazy woman, while turning John into a bitter delinquent until he finds out the truth.  Her initial distrust of the T-800 (who eventually learns the value of human life) lends to the movie’s drama, and her nightmares about the coming nuclear apocalypse in 1997 are truly frightening in execution.  Hamilton is great in the role, and I’d love to see grizzled, bad-ass grandma Hamilton in a movie that’s not an atrocious sequel. 

      Despite his delinquent-like demeanor, John turns out to be the conscience of the movie.  It makes him a stronger and more likable protagonist while sacrificing his believability as a child.  Perhaps I could go more in depth on this quandary if I ever get to DuckTales (2017)

      As for some of the apparent fridge logic, I have some defenses and some concessions.  While some would question why the Machines would not send a Terminator back earlier to take Sarah out before the events of The Terminator, the decision makes sense.   Said events were part of a deterministic timeline.  Skynet would obviously not prevent its own existence by going back further, any more than the AI in Roko's Basilisk would counterintuitively act against its own existence and punish people out of irrational spite, but I digress. 

      I think there’s an unwritten rule that makes movies like Terminator and Back to the Future Part II possible.  Instead of the assumed effect of the original timeline’s being erased the instant the first person goes back in time, there’s a period during which both timelines coexist until a significant act is made.  For example, if Person A goes back in time and it takes him five minutes after arriving in the past to kill Person B, then Person B has five minutes to go back in time and stop him before he’s erased from existence.  Of course, there are insignificant changes happening in the time line gradually from the moment person A infects it with his presence.  The past and future are combined while the former is constantly modifying the latter.   I don’t know if anyone else has codified this: The Timeline Permutation Rule.       

      Also, I suspect the T-1000 doesn’t break the in-universe rule of time-traveling because as an energized, fluid material, it’s not “dead” like a metal endoskeleton.  I still question its ability to mimic the complexity of a human body while not being able to form even simple mechanical moving parts.       

      This sequel takes a different direction than the heroes’ simply protecting John so the machine war can be won.  They decide to go directly to Cyberdyne Systems in order to destroy all its research and thus prevent Judgment Day (the nuclear war leading to the Machine War) from happening.

  

       Meanwhile, the T-1000 is seriously considering giving up and starting a family.

       John’s youthful optimism contrasts with Sarah’s cynicism in that he stops her from murdering Cyberdyne researcher Miles Dyson (Joe Morton) before his work unwittingly causes disaster.  After convincing him of the reality of the situation, they recruit him to destroy the company’s headquarters while minimizing casualties.  The epic final action scene summons the T-1000 and leads to a great chase scene followed by the T-800's poignant self-sacrifice.  With hope that Judgment Day has been averted, T2 justifies its existence as a sequel further by changing the stakes and giving us a more optimistic ending.  Unfortunately, T3, while being fun, ruined this with a more fatalistic retcon; at least Alien³ respected our subjectivity enough not to act fun right after tearing our hearts out.  One almost wishes that the vaguely cringe epilogue was included so as to prevent people from getting ideas.  I find the part about kids’ playing with toy guns as a microcosm for what’s wrong with humanity (not to mention a bit hypocritical) a bit pretentious, but other than that the movie checks out.

 

       T2 is also bolstered by phenomenal direction by James Cameron.  The action scenes are brilliant, and the film earns its R-Rating more than Terminator does.  It feels modern with its sleek atmosphere (I still prefer the grungy 80’s feel of the first movie, though), and Adam Greenberg deserves respect for the cinematography.  There are also memorably creative moments that add to the appeal.  One decision that slightly annoys me is Cameron’s baffling choice of replacing the awesome roar of a minigun with a more generic and slower machine gun sound effect.  Like that of the Gargoyle shades (?) in the first movie, the Harley-Davidson Fatboy gets a subtle product placement.  A Winchester 1887 is also used to cool effect.  The movie also foreshadows Cameron’s increasingly antiseptic dependence on digital picture and CGI.  His last hurrah as a writer would be Kathryn Bigelow’s Strange Days while his directorial swan song would be the well-executed bad idea that was Titanic.  The special effects were truly praiseworthy and revolutionary; the T-1000 does a great job showing detailed reflections while remaining within limits of the time.  Like Jurassic Park, however, the revolutionary CGI still pales in comparison to the great practical set pieces. Boomer directors like Spielberg and Cameron understandably thought there were gradually making practical effects obsolete, but they would soon start using it as a crutch.  Thank goodness for Christopher Nolan.

        Brad Fiedel enhances the already great score of the first movie with a more traditional sounding score with its own atmospheric cyberpunk touches.  The introductory scene, which features the dark future with improved special effects, allows the viewer to watch this movie without having to see the first one.  Sarah Connor’s narration adds depth and exposition without being too frequent or intrusive.  

        Other cast members include Earl Boen as Dr. Silberman, S. Epatha Merkerson as Mrs. Dyson, Castulo Guerra as Sarah’s arms dealer friend from her survivalist days, Danny Cooksey as John’s mulleted friend, Michael Edwards as adult John Connor, DeVaughn Nixon as Dyson’s son, and Michael Biehn as Kyle Reese.  John’s foster parents, Todd (Xander Berkeley) and Janelle (Jennette Goldstein), are an interesting case as they seem a bit abrasive while apparently trying their best to raise a clearly troubled youth, but TVTropes doesn’t hesitate to assume they’re abusive people without conclusive evidence.  Linda Hamilton’s identical twin sister Leslie Hamilton Gearrean (RIP) doubled for Hamilton as T-1000’s mimicking her as well as at least one effects trick.  Uziel Gal (inventor of the Uzi) trained Hamilton in weapons handling.

        Terminator 2 is one of the best sequels out there and a must see.  It’s a truly great film while still being qualified as a “popcorn movie.”  

And now something more light-hearted.      

Yes, I Have Read the Book.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame

1996

D: Gary Trousdale, Kirk Wise

**********

Pros: Animation, Music, Story, Villain

Cons: Some Questionable Decisions from Characters

 

 

          Today is the 25^th anniversary of one of Disney’s best movies.  Along with The Lion King and Beauty and the Beast, it stands with the strongest entries of the Disney Renaissance.  Oddly enough, I never really caught this movie as a kid, so my love of it is relatively free of nostalgia.

        The movie of course takes liberties with Victor Hugo’s original book.  It makes sense for Disney to take a straighter approach in contrast to the novel’s more deconstructive, satirical nature.  One reflection of Disney’s popular and safe approach, as well as its 20^th Century timing, its unequivocally positive treatment of the Catholic Church.  While Frollo was originally an anti-villainous priest, the film version (a wonderful Tony Jay) is a secular authority who is pure evil.  A heroic archdeacon (David Ogden Stiers) stops him from murdering an infant Quasimodo (in the book Fr. Frollo adopted him out of genuine kindness, although Judge Frollo tells something like this to Quasi), and moronically tasks him with caring for the child as penance.  There’s something unwittingly prescient about the Church’s wagging a finger at a predator and then promptly putting him back into a position where he can continue to hurt children, but that’s hardly unique to Catholicism and a rant for another day.  The archdeacon invokes the “Eyes of Notre Dame,” which some could interpret as the cathedral’s statues’ literally watching Frollo’s sins, but it’s more likely symbolic.  Oddly enough, no true confession takes place outside Frollo’s rather questionable penance. 

           And Judge Claude Frollo is truly great villain.  Vicious and beady-eyed with a grim baritone, he’s as evil as a Disney antagonist can get.  He psychologically torments Quasimodo (Tom Hulce), keeping him cooped up in the Cathedral’s bell tower while conditioning him to fear the outside world.  In the book, he does this out of apparently sincere overprotective impulse.  One of the hardest moments to watch is when Quasi is being ritualistically humiliated by the mob during the Festival of Fools, and Frollo ignores his pleas for help, glaring at him with a mixture of sadism and contempt.   

        Frollo’s struggle with his sexual urges are only a mockery of complexity, as he only fears punishment in Hell.  Despite this, he ignores his affected piety and vows to possess or murder Esmeralda (Demi Moore).  It’s not everyday you see a Disney villain with sexual tension, and it’s bold of The Mouse to make such a move.  People are likely to misread Frollo as product of religious fantacism, but if anything his nominal Catholicism is a force working against his malice.  A sociopathic monster like Frollo would be far more at home in a secular utilitarian society that would give him no reason to resist his vices.  There are also aspects of Reformed Theology that might appeal to a man who "saw corruption everywhere except within."

        On the other hand, our heroes are more likable and idealized.  Quasimodo may be ugly, but the art style makes him look sympathetic anyway.  In the novel he is socially awkward and deaf.  The movie version may be a bit shy, but he’s perfectly sociable and arguably charming in his demeanor.  It also helps that he has a very disarming voice.  He does show vulnerability in that he’s afraid to defy Frollo and rescue the heroine for a moment.  Esmeralda is very heroic and always goes out of her way to help others, even when it goes against the crowd.  Phoebus (Kevin Kline) is an intelligent and stalwart hero, whereas in the book he’s an oblivious buffoon. 

Even Clopin (Paul Kandel) is reimagined as an amusing clown.  The iconic “Sanctuary” line is faithful to the book.  Other cast members include Mary Kay Bergman, Frank Welker, Jim Cummings, Corey Burton, Bill Fagerbakke, Gary Trousdale, Bob Bergen, Patrick Pinney, and Philip Procter.

           Less enjoyable are those damn gargoyles.  In the book we see Quasimodo’s speaking to the statues as imaginary friends, so it makes sense for Disney to reinterpret them as actual comic relief characters.  This interpretation would hold more water if Victor (Charles Kimbrough), Hugo (Jason Alexander), and…Laverne (Mary Wickes, then Jane Withers after the former’s death) never do anything tangible, but they do in the final battle.  If only they weren’t so annoying.  Not one joke they make lands, if I recall correctly.  Then again, the post-credits sequence did inspire a catchphrase from George in Seinfeld.  Interestingly, the movie doesn’t do this with the church bells, which were also named by our hero. 

           The animation is of course beautiful, an example of Disney during the height of its 90’s grandeur.  There are throwback elements with multi-layered painted backgrounds and foregrounds to boot.  The movie also boasts some of the most consistently enjoyable music in any Disney flick.  Most of the time, you just have to wait for the villain song, but there are at least four worthwhile pieces here.  “Hellfire” is particularly memorable for incorporating sexual tension and the threat of eternal damnation.  I rarely judge music by the lyrics, but this is a rare case in which the rhyming is so well-executed it actually enhances the musical aspect.  

          The Hunchback of Notre Dame is among the best.  Like Trousdale and Wise’s Beauty and the Beast, it possesses good moral and religious themes, and is overall very enjoyable.  Like V for Vendetta, it’s an adaptation actually succeeds in being its own distinct work due to the combination of its quality and differences from the source material.  It’s unfortunate that Disney will soon make an atrocious live-action remake of it, but as soon as that’s over with I think we’ll be through the worst of it.

Or not.  

2021 Movies Ranked

<< 2020   2022 >>

 

 

16. Godzilla vs. Kong

D: Adam Wingard

**********

Lacks the well-executed spectacle of the last movie, and the conspiracy theorist subplot didn’t help, either.

15. Nobody

D: Ilya Naishuller

**********

A poor man’s John Wick that doesn’t pretend to be anything else.  Bod Odenkirk is surprisingly good in the role.

14. The Suicide Squad

D: James Gunn

**********

Some amusing moments, but too many obnoxious trends that are common in such movies.  Also at least 40 minutes too long.

13. Prisoners of Ghostland

D: Sion Sono

**********

It's like a poor man's Mandy.

12. No Time to Die

D: Cary Fukunaga

**********

Entertaining but cliched almost to the point of parody.  

11. Cry Macho

D: Clint Eastwood

**********

A decent film, but not much to write home about.

10. Antlers

D: Scott Cooper

**********

Great cinematography, but not much else.  

9. The French Dispatch

D: Wes Anderson

**********

Such a slow year, even the Wes Anderson movie isn't that great.  

8. Being the Ricardos

D: Aaron Sorkin

**********

Decent, but not as fun as Charlie Wilson's War.

7. Last Night in Soho

D: Edgar Wright

**********

Thrilling, but not enough adds up in the plot.

6. Green Knight

D: David Lowery

**********

Visually stunning and well-executed, but falls short with its subversion of Gaiwan's purity.

5. Dune

D: Denis Villeneuve

**********

Overtly long and lacks the interesting plot of the book.  The David Lynch version had more story. Still, a stunning piece of cinema.

4. In the Earth

D: Ben Wheatley

**********

A solid thriller with a bit too much of an ambiguous ending.  Sometimes these artful filmmakers should just not be afraid of a bit of crowd-pleasing.

3. Belle

D: Mamoru Hosoda

**********

Brilliant movie, but the resolution is a bit of a cop-out.

2. The Tragedy of Macbeth

D: Joel Coen

**********

A visually stunning take on a classic.  My only complaint is that the Birnam Wood scene is disappointing. 

 

1. Nightmare Alley

D: Guillermo del Toro

**********

An atmospheric psychological thriller that's better than the original.  Possibly del Toro's best movie.  

 

<< 2020     2022 >>

When the Villain Makes the Movie

Kung Fu Panda 2

2011

D: Jennifer Yuh Nelson

**********

Pros: Great Villain, Stronger Arc for Protagonist

Cons: Not Enough of Supporting Cast, Disappointing Action

 

 

        2011 might not have been the strongest year for movies, but it did have a few gems and this was one of them.  Kung Fu Panda 2 is a stronger entry than the original and is mostly elevated by its villain, Lord Shen (Gary Oldman).  It’s saying something that he’s literally in my top ten.  Who’d’ve thought a peacock would have made such a great design for a bad guy?

        I enjoy villains who are tortured by their own villainy and feel like they can’t go back on their sins, and Shen is a great example of that.  This is also driven by an inflated sense of entitlement based on birthright.  When he was young, he was given a prophecy that his reign would be defeated by a “Warrior in Black and White” if he continues his ways and, narrowly assuming this to be a panda, led a genocide against the species, horrifying his parents and warranting an exile.  Still feeling entitled to his rule, he eventually came back, to reclaim his throne, using a new invention: cannons.  As it turns out, the village of pandas was the childhood home of our hero Po (Jack Black), whose train of life leads him to become the Dragon Warrior who eventually defeats Shen.  A classic self-fulfilling prophecy.  

       What the movie doesn’t mention is that Shen was a relatively weak child who was ignored by his parents.  Lonely, he formed a rapport with his lupine henchman (led by Danny McBride), who were already borderline outcasts.  Unfortunately, he would backstab them in the movie’s third act in his lust for power.  The information reinforces a story that still makes sense without it, and that’s how you do this trope.  

       Ironically, the only person (besides himself) he cares about is his old family Soothsayer (Michelle Yeoh); it seems they had a warm relationship when he was young despite her ominous warnings and attempts to redeem him.  Watch Shen’s first meeting with Po when the former impulsively pulls a knife on the latter.  You know he does that because Po just casually insulted her. He even allows her to leave him in peace, even though she ends up aiding Po in the end.  It’s almost like he subconsciously wants to be defeated.  (He even smiles serenely when he realizes he just killed himself.)   

       Gary Oldman provides a lot of depth to the character, who fits the Evil Brit motif far better than Tai Lung (Ian McShane) did in the previous movie.  He’s sophisticated and witty, and has an excellent character design.  His fighting style hints at his lack of brute strength; he depends on the use of knives and his tailfeathers as a confusing factor.

        Po has a better arc this time.  Still, Kung Fu Panda’s primary narrative weakness is still in effect.  Po still has power handed to him on a silver platter.  In this entry, his goal is to attain inner peace, which apparently translates into deflecting blows.  Shifu (Dustin Hoffman) spent some time mastering this.  In one scene, he reveals to Po (much to the latter's annoyance) that he overcame his lowest point in life: the day Po was named as the Dragon Warrior.  It's frustrating that the movie brazenly ignores Shifu's tragic backstory for the sake of a cheap laugh.  I suppose Po’s nomination must added some insult to that, but that insult would mean nothing if not the tragedy it's base on.  At least the "Inner Peace" angle has some credibility as something that Po can attain just be choosing to.

       Po’s “Villain Killed My Family” backstory is a little more derivative than the way Tai Lung influenced the supporting cast of the previous movie, but it’s well done.  As if to apologize for his disturbingly callous execution of the shirtless snow leopard, the sequel features his forgiveness of the man who took everything from him.  This forgiveness enables him to attain inner peace, allowing him to neutralize Shen’s weaponry.  Shen then symbolically kills himself by accidentally cutting the ropes suspending his cannon over him in an attempt to fight Po after rejecting the latter’s offering of peace.  Po finally lives up to his name.  The movie ends with a peak at a surviving community of pandas, setting the stage for the decidedly disappointing threequel.

      One other complaint I have about this movie is the lack of development of the Furious Five (Angelina Jolie, Lucy Liu, Jackie Chan, David Cross, and Seth Rogen), even though Tigress has a few moments.  This is especially unfortunate since I always found them more likable and interesting than Po himself, who is borderline annoying and clashes a bit with the setting.  Viper even has a remarkably OOC moment when she says something needlessly insensitive at Po’s expense.  The cast also includes James Hong as Po’s adoptive father, Dennis Haysbert as Master Storming Ox, Jean-Claude Van-Damme as Master Croc, Victor Garber as Master Thundering Rhino, Fred Tatasciore, Lauren Tom, and Conrad Vernon.  I kinda like Master Croc’s backstory as a former villain who was defeated and redeemed by Master Thundering Rhino.  I always find heroic reptiles refreshing.

      The action is a bit disappointing in contrast to the well-edited and well-choreographed fight scenes of the first movie.  Kung Fu Panda 2 came out during the height of the 3-D craze, and it shows.  There’s a lot of the movie’s just throwing stuff at the viewer’s face.  There’s a deceit that Shen’s cannon can destroy Kung Fu, but barring any rifles, that’s irrelevant.  Characters still make use of it in CQB, after all. There is one scene in which it’s cleverly utilized, though.  Han Zimmer and John Powell’s score is mostly forgettable  but has its moments.  There must be some kind of term for bland scoring that just serves as action background filler so I can have a name for my pain.  The intro is an interesting simulation of a shadow play with Chinese fans.

       This movie is not perfect.  Its story is solid with a few flaws.  However, it did give me one of my all-time favorite villains, and that’s worth at least a 9.      

QUOTES

 

WOLF BOSS: Spread out!  Search everywhere!

WOLF: What about over there?

WOLF BOSS: Is “there” part of everywhere?

WOLF: Uh, I guess.

WOLF BOSS: Then search there!

 

MASTER THUNDERING RHINO: What do you want, Shen?

SHEN: What is rightfully mine: Gongmen City!

MASTER THUNDERING RHINO: Gongmen is under the stewardship of the Council of Masters, and we will protect it.  Even from you.

SHEN: I’m so glad you feel that way.  Otherwise, I’d have dragged….that all the way here for nothing.

MASTER THUNDERING RHINO: What’s in the box, Shen?

SHEN: You want so see?  It’s a gift.  It’s your parting gift…in that it will part you.  Part of you here…part of you there…an part of you waaay over there…staining the wall.

 

SHEN: My father’s throne.  He used to let me play there beside him, promising me some day this throne would be mine.

[cuts to the throne’s being thrown over the balcony, then to the cannon’s replacing it]

SHEN: A little to the left.

GUARD: But’s it’s so heavy, master.

SHEN: Thirty years I’ve waited for this moment.  Everything must be exactly as I envisioned it.  And I envisioned it…a little to the left.

 

PO: I found out that my dad isn’t really my dad.

TIGRESS: Your dad…the goose.     …That must have been quite a shock.

 

PO: Look, I’m going.  I have to know.  The hardcore can’t understand.

[Tigress pounces toward Po]

VIPER: Tigress, no!

TIGRESS: [hugging Po] The hardcore do understand.  But I can’t watch my friend be killed.  We’re going?

CRANE: Uh, maybe you can’t watch me be killed?

TIGRESS: Stop being a wimp.

MONKEY: Aaand, she’s back.

 

PO: Enough of these riddles!  Would you guys spill the beans?  First, you know, we come in, and the weapon is tiny, surprise, it’s big, and then the lady over here, I think it’s a guy-

[Shen impulsively pulls knife on him]

SHEN: The only reason you are still alive is that I find your stupidity mildly amusing.

 

SOOTHSAYER: The cup you choose to fill has no bottom.  It is time to stop this madness.

SHEN: And why on Earth would I do that?

SOOTHSAYER: So you parents can rest in peace.

SHEN: My parents hated me.  Do you understand?  They, they wronged me.  And I will make it right.

SOOTHSAYER: They loved you.  They loved you so much that having to send you away killed them.

SHEN: The dead exist in the past, and I must attend to the future.  Set the Soothsayer free.  She is of no use to me.  

SOOTHSAYER: Goodbye, Shen.  I wish you find happiness.

SHEN: Happiness must be taken.  And I will take mine.

 

PO: You’re mine!

WOLF BOSS:  I’ll tell you what’s gonna be yours.  My fist in your plush, cuddly, super soft face!

 

TIGRESS: I hope this turns out better than your plan to cook rice in your stomach by eating it raw and then drinking boiling water.

PO: This is nothing like that plan.

TIGRESS: How?

PO: Because this is gonna work.

 

SHEN: How did you find peace?  I took away your parents!  Everything!  I scarred you for life!

PO: See, that’s the thing, Shen.  Scars heal.

SHEN: No they don’t!  Wounds heal!

PO: Oh, yeah.  What do scars do?  They fade, I guess?

SHEN: I don’t care what scars do!

PO: You should, Shen,  You gotta let go of that stuff from the past, because it just doesn’t matter!  The only thing that matters is what you choose to be now.

SHEN: You’re right.  Then I choose THIS!

[Shen tries to kill Po, but accidentally cuts the ropes holding his cannon up and is crushed by it]

Helluva Boss Episodes

PILOT

2019

 

SEASON 1

2020-1

 

 

1	“Murder Family”
2	“Loo Loo Land”
3	“Spring Broken”
4	“C.H.E.R.U.B.”
5	“The Harvest Moon Festival”	Average
6	"Truth Seekers"	Average

 

SEASON 2

2022-

 

1	“The Circus”
2	“Seeing Stars”	Below Average
3	“Exes and Oohs”
4	“Western Energy”
5	“Unhappy Campers”
6	“Oops”
7	“Mammon’s Magnificent Mid-Season Special”
8

 

 

 

 

End