Characters I Like (From Movies I Hate)

Bad Movies.  At least we don't have to be in them.  Sometimes, however, a cool character somehow finds the misfortune to actually be in a crappy movie.  Here's my tribute to cool characters from bad movies.  I was tempted to put some characters on there.  For example: Ephialtes from 300 was the only character in that movie I found remotely sympathetic despite being a villain, but that only made it more apparent how bad the movie was.  This is about characters who partially redeem a movie.  Nor am I going to include large groups of  supporting characters from movies that suck because they focus mainly on two bland love interests (Twilight, Failure to Launch)

8. Governor Ratcliffe (David Ogden Stiers, Pocahontas)

I always like DOS’ voice acting, and Ratcliff is the only fun character in this movie.  Not only does he have a cool song, his “That’s what GUNS are for” line is pretty good, too.  Not bad for a fat man in a pink suit. 

7. Hertz (Paul Giamatti, Shoot’em Up)

As I pointed out before, I freakin’ hate this movie, and Hertz was the only character I found likable on any level.  He may be motivated by infanticide the whole time, but it’s hard not to like any character who’s played by Paul Giamatti.   At least I can take comfort in knowing that I don’t support infanticide in real life.

6. Sandy Lyle (Philip Seymour Hoffman, Along Came Polly)

Hoffman is a great actor, and his appearance as an immature former child star is the only funny thing (well, except this, and even then he's present for it) in this bland Ben Stiller/Jennifer Anniston rom-com.

5. Hades (James Woods, Hercules)
The smooth-talking but scary god of the Underworld was the only cool thing about his movie.

4. Jenny McBride (Hynden Walch, Secret of NIMH 2: Timmy to the Rescue)

I’ll agree with most everyone that this is a mediocre bastardization of one of the greatest animated movies ever made.  I do, however, like this character…ok, I might have a bit of a furry crush on her….  She might be written off as a love interest, except she’s the one who actively drives the story and ends up saving Timmy’s life in the end.  She’s actually pretty cool, even if she’s the daughter of some mice who got retconned back to life after we saw them die in the first one.

3. Secretary of Defense John Keller (Jon Voight, Transformers)

The reason why fewer people liked Transformers 2 even though it was really no more idiotic than Transformers.  He’s one of the few non-annoying character in the series (except maybe Optimus, but even he gets too little screen time to count).  The scene where he fights an attacking Decepticon with a  shotgun is by far the most awesome part of the Transformers Trilogy.

2. Det. Gina Calabrese (Elizabeth Rodriguez, Miami Vice)

The occasional gunfight in this movie is worth watching, but outside that, what this character does in the trailer park scene is the only cool part of this boring piece of crap.

1. The Thin Man (Crispin Glover, Charlie’s Angels)

It’s a pretty stupid movie series, but The Thin Man makes it partially worth sitting through.  This guy just oozes style, and he’s the best mute henchman I’ve ever seen.