Hazbin Songs Ranked

One thing I like about Hazbin Hotel is that it has one of most consistently enjoyable collection of songs I’ve seen in a musical, although it does contain some bombs. Perhaps the controversial decision of replacing the voice cast was justified in this respect. To be fair, the ranking from 9 to 3 is up for some internal debate. 

 

 

33. MORE THAN ANYTHING

Charlie, Lucifer

Hellsong. 

 

32. WELCOME TO HEAVEN

St. Peter, Emily, Sera

Absolute pop garbage, and a demonstration of underlying problems by purposefully depicting Heaven as gratingly saccharine (see the CHERUB from Helluva Boss).

 

31. READY FOR THIS

Charlie

What should be a rousing march is actually pretty bland and generic.

30. SPEEDRUN TO REDEMPTION

Charlie

Like most of Charlie's songs, it's half-ironically suck, and it doesn't help that it's Charlie basically losing all the audience's good will in the course of one episode.

29. HAPPY DAY IN HELL

Charlie

Despite singing being Charlie’s gimmick, she seems to weigh down the show’s musical quality. Most of what she does is generic “I Want” music, although with more altruistic motivation. At least this song has some funny moments.

28. EASY

Vaggie, Charlie

Good night, Vaggie's singing is annoying. You know you're in trouble when Charlie, whose entire gimmick is half-ironically bad Disney "I Want Songs," has to rescue you. It turns into something passably enjoyable eventually.

 

27. WHATEVER IT TAKES

Carmilla, Vaggie

A middling song, but it does inspire a good punchline from one of the Eggbois when he explains Carmilla’s secret to Alastor. 

 

26. IT STARTS WITH SORRY

Charlie, Sir Pentious

A passably poignant number. Niffty’s reaction to it at the end would be a lot more appropriate after “More than Anything” and would have been funnier since it would be Lucifer’s shin she was kicking. 

 

25. DON'T YOU FORGET

Rosie, Alastor

A jaunty bop, but it's not my favorite genre.

24. LOSER, BABY

Husk, Angel Dust

Husk being a good friend and inspiring Angel’s redemption by making him acknowledge his flaws with catharsis.

 

23. MORE THAN ANYTHING (Reprise)

Charlie, Vaggie

Surprisingly enough manages to make this dreadful song not suck. 

 

22. FINALE

Full Cast

I have a weakness for epic story finale ensembles, and this does a good job wrapping up the season while foreshadowing what’s to come. 

21. LIKE YOU

Emily, Pentious, Abel, Peter

I predicted that Pentious' arc would be a based virtuous rejection of the reformed view of heaven, and I was right (I really must find out what Christian tradition Viv is rebelling against). The song has a catchy motif, but it's a bit repetitive.

20. SERA'S CONFESSION

Sera, Speaker of God 

A poignant song that's baseline Disney quality.

19. CLEAN IT UP

Niffty

A fun song in cute anime style. Charlie provides a good punchline at the end.

18. VOX POPULI

Vox

An enjoyably upbeat dance number.

17. HAZBIN GUARANTEE/TRUST US

Charlie, The Vees

Charlie's intro in this medley is predictably bad (half-ironically bad parodies of Disney musicals seem to be her department), but the Vee's contribution is groovy. The song also shows how evil they are and how they exploit and dispose of their groomed celebrities. I wonder if that girl is going to get her wish by using the hotel for revenge when Charlie is finally forced to fight the Vees. It would be anticlimactic if she didn't. 

16. BAD WITH US

Zizi, Vox, Overlords

Finally the sexy dragon lady gets some more lines. The song starts out good, but trails off into various mediocre pieces until it has an enjoyably catchy finale. It also fails as an ensemble because Zizi (who's a good singer) dominates it disproportionately along with Vox.

15. ONCE WE GET UP THERE

Vox, The Other Vees

A catchy and fun song, but Vox clearly doesn't have a plan. Christian Borle's voice acting really helps sell Vox's instability.

14. PISS (A LOVE SONG)

Pentious, Cherri

This energetic 80's style number isn't the best song in the series, but it's arguably the best overall music video. It's synced up perfectly.

 

13. STAYED GONE

Vox, Alastor

A solid villain song about Vox’s rivalry with Alastor. I also love Christian Borle's voice acting as an unstable, egotistical villain.

 

12. RESPECTLESS

Velvette, Carmilla

Sassy and energetic with the animation to go with it. 

 

11. OUT FOR LOVE

Carmilla

I always love a good training montage song, even if the timeframe is dubious in-universe. 

10. LOSIN' STREAK

Angel Dust

An obvious homage to the Jessica Rabbit song, but I'm going to have to admit I like it better. Has the aesthetic of some of the better Bond themes. However I found it very distracting how they were trying to imitate the sparkles on the dress and falling short.

 

9. LOVE IN A BOTTLE

Husk

A groovy and energetic piece that ramps up the dark energy as Husk succumbs to his addictions. 

8. HELL'S GREATEST DAD

Lucifer, Alastor

A fun, energetic song that demonstrates that Epic Rap Battles are better when they (1) have narrative context, (2) are not just platforms for forced jokes, and (3) not rap. Also, because this version of Lucifer is repentant of the Fall, he never made a deal with some hick that cost him his fiddle. Too bad Mimzy has to come in and ruin it.

 

7. YOU DIDN’T KNOW

Charlie, Emily, Sera, Adam, Vaggie

A tense, climactic song with a lot of emotion.

 

6. POISON

Angel Dust

At first, I dismissed this as lesser version of "Addict," but it fits perfectly in the episode’s context and conveys Angel’s pathos and struggle well in a cool 80’s aesthetic. 

5. DON'T YOU FORGET (REPRISE)

Vox, Alastor

Has all the strengths of Rosie's version, but adds so much more with an epic, ominous tone added by Vox and his hatred for Alastor. Too bad Viv can't help but ruin the mood with a sex joke from Val.

 

4. HELL IS FOREVER

Adam 

Despite being preceded by a cringy song by Charlie, this is my favorite song in the show. Classic villain song stuff. The whole number is like watching a theological debate between a Mormon and a Calvinist. 

 

3. GRAVITY

Lute, Adam

Pure rage and pain in song form. For all her evil, it really makes you empathize with Lute and her grief and anger. Actually makes you want to root for her in a way.

2. VOX POPULI (PART 1)

Lucifer

More along the lines of classic metal and a good aura song.

1. VOX DEI

Vox

There's something wrong when the two songs that most perfectly capture Righteous Anger are from the villains. Too bad we've got some surface-level political wording thrown in there a few times. It's a typical example of Leftist creators' thinking they're clever by somehow managing to simulate the frustrations of normal people perfectly only to use it to gaslight them into thinking they're being manipulated by "Fascists." Considering how much art is just advance sociopathic masking, it's a wonder why the ancient Romans disenfranchised actors. We don't need AI because these people keep giving us good right-wing music because they think they're being effectively ironic.