THE UGLIEST GUNS EVER MADE
This post is a little wittier than the one about the guns I think look cool. I mostly limited this to self-loaders and revolvers in order to stick to guns I know. Of course, this is just my opinion on the guns' appearances. Some of these guns are not bad guns.
19. Ruger P93-97 (US)
Truthfully, these guns are not remotely ugly; I just find them very bland and generic. Contrary to popular opinion, I think the P89 and P90 are very great-looking, distinctive guns. Since the subsequent P-Series are an alleged “improvement” in appearance over them, I just decided to include them on this list. You know...cause I'm like that.
18. Webley & Scott Self-Loading Pistols (UK)
There is an old-school charm to these pistols’ appearance, but they still look like a child’s drawing of a gun, and the grip angle looks uncomfortable. Still, I hear they were solid and well-made.
A box with a grip, shaped vaguely like an Uzi. It looks pretty cool with a suppressor, though.
16. LAR Grizzly (US)
Though not a bad idea (design a 1911 that fires magnum rounds), it's not particularly pretty with its disproportionally fat grip, ugly trigger guard and extended barrel.
15. Webley-Fosbery Automatic Revolver (UK)
Although I believe the Webley revolvers are the best looking pistols ever made, I don’t particularly care for these. In order to justify the slide action, the gun was split along a horizontal line into two parts, which messes up the shape. The trigger guard also looks too small.
14. Colt Double Eagle (US)
I’ve heard that this gun, designed for the 10mm round, is not that well-made, nor does it look so. It looks like a badly put-together toy in my opinion. But then again, it is in Perfect Dark; that’s pretty cool.
13. Taurus Judge (Brazil)
Obviously, a compact snubby is going to look disproportionate if you design it to carry rounds that long.
12. Smith & Wesson 39 (US)
I know this is probably a great gun, and it’s America’s first double-action semiauto, but it just looks ugly to me. None of the proportions are right. The frame is too thick in height, the dust cover is at an awkward level, and the trigger guard looks disproportionately small. This gun looks…inbred. Still, there are variants of this series that look ok.
11. FN Five-SeveN (Belgium)
Its all-polymer exterior makes it look enough like a toy without the light gray controls.
10. Various Self-Loading Rifles
Many of the self-loading rifles in the first half of the 20th Century looked like an awkward mix between a bolt action rifle and an automatic. This Fench MAS49 demonstrates.
9. Arsenal Firearms Second Century Model 2011 (Italy)
[???] No, this is not a joke. It’s literally two 1911s welded together. This may not be the ugliest gun, but it’s certainly one of the stupidest. Yes, the malapropism “stupidest” is appropriate here. I mean…why? What advantage do you get from two .45 rounds going toward the exact same target? If you want a 1911 with twice the firepower, get a high capacity one. A gun like this thing would look cool in a movie, but this is real life, people.
8. Springfield XD-M (US/Croatia)
I know that the Springfield XDs are great guns, but I’m not much of a fun. The thing that everyone says about Rugers (that they look and feel like bricks) applies so much more to the XDs. The XD-M, however, strikes me as ugly. The slide looks like it’s mounted too high and loose over the frame, and the pistol is covered in unsightly zig-zagging lines.
7. Colt 2000
Colt's inept first attempt at a hi-capacity polymer looks as bad as it was.
Colt's inept first attempt at a hi-capacity polymer looks as bad as it was.
6. Shevchenko Psh-4 (Ukraine)
Wow. Now they’re just trying to make this look ugly. However, this gun does have a neat cyberpunk look to it; it would be nice to see it passed off as a laser in some scifi movie. Even more odd, the gun’s slide has been designed to hold open on the last round rather than after it, ostensibly so the shooter can make the last shot count. Apparently Pinkie Pie designed this gun.
5. Ugly Polymer Versions of Good-Looking Guns
In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not the biggest fan of polymers, especially when the frames come in some hideous color like olive drab or green. The pistol on the left is a polymer Baby Eagle, and, believe it nor not, that ugly sand-colored thing on the right is a CZ 75 variant.
4. Grendel P30 (US)
The name and the picture sum it up, but it 30 rounds in a pistol is still pretty cool.
If you know your firearms history, you know that this is one of the worst guns ever created, and this rickety thing quite appropriately looks like it was cobbled together by drunken gnomes.
2. M14 EBR (US)
It's supposed to be practical, not good-looking. It’s still a hideous monstrosity that looks like a product of the combination of drugs and a visit to a Frankenguns website.
1. Type 94 Shiki Kenju (Japan)
Highly considered one of the worst guns ever manufactured, this deformed abortion of a firearm certainly looks the part. Still, I’d probably say the Chauchat was worse considering that it was supposed to be used as a primary weapon rather than a backup.
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