2002 Movies Ranked

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19. Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever

D: Wych Kaosayananda

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An amazingly clichéd action movie which is known for spawning a surprisingly decent game.  Has a rare 0% Rotten Tomatoes rating.  Some moments of action are good, but the characters are bland.  This film also has one of the most underwhelming attempts at a cool, gimmicky death I’ve ever seen.  One thing I particularly dislike is the sheer number of Caprices (I have a bit of a soft spot for these cars) that seem to get wrecked in order to make this waste of a movie.

18. National Lampoon’s Van Wilder

D: Walt Becker

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This pathetic attempt at a spiritual sequel to Animal House has an annoying protagonist and a climax that is more disgusting than genuinely humorous.

17. Star Trek: Nemesis

D: Stuart Baird

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The movie that broke the even/odd rule of Star Trek movies.  The CGI would have been considered bad in the mid-90’s, and it’s made worse by the fact that the space scenes are dominated by a putrid green hue.  The Scimitar is like something a child would have built out of Legos, both in appearance and concept.  The worst part of the movie is the ending, in which Data is replaced. 

16. Men in Black II

D: Barry Sonnenfeld

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Like T3, it depressingly retcons the previous movie’s happy ending.  Unlike T3, it’s not very fun.  The few funny moments don’t make up for all the awful attempts at humor.

15. The Sum of All Fears

D: Phil Alden Robinson

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As a fan of the Jack Ryan movies, I was looking forward to this, but it was very disappointing.  Ben Affleck is certainly no worthy successor to Harrison Ford, or even Alec Baldwin for that matter.

14. Die Another Day

D: Lee Tamahori

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A Bond movie so bad that it fortunately made the franchise reboot with Casino Royale.  It’s still got some good action, and I’d honestly rather watch it than the more dull entries in the series (eg: Thunderball]

13. Gangs of New York

D: Martin Scorsese

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I think Scorsese has a limited range as a director, and serious period pieces are not his forte.  This is probably because, while his movies are fun, he generally fails to create an emotional connection between me and the characters.  Also, it’s not one of Leonardo DiCaprio’s better performances.

12. Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones

D: George Lucas

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The prequels were problematic, but this is the one that I actually dislike.  I liked Obi-Wan and some of the action, but the story was a mess and it retconned logical fan deductions.  Anakin was whiny and half-psychotic.  Dialogue was forced.  The romance is the worst this side of Twilight.  The final act used too much grotesquely orange CGI.  I will, however, defend Hayden Christensen’s performance.  The terrible writing and direction were not his fault, and I’m not the first to point that out.

 

11. Resident Evil

D: Paul W.S. Anderson

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A mediocre film with some decent atmosphere and some good music.  I may not be all that familiar with the games, but I know bad movies.

10. Adaptation

D: Spike Jonze

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An oddly meta movie about a writer adapting a book and finding out that it’s real life story is not what it seems.

9. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

D: Chris Columbus

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The first sequel in the series is still kids’ stuff, but it’s an improvement over the first.

8. Spider-Man

D: Sam Raimi

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Despite the gaudy, dated CGI and that awful Green Goblin costume, this is an extremely definitive and well-cast adaptation of Spider-Man that really hits the mark.

7. Signs

D: M. Night Shyamalan

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Though everyone hates it now for its ludicrous story, it’s still a very well-directed thriller, and there’s just as much intentional laughs as there are accidental ones.

6. Minority Report

D: Steven Spielberg

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A fun sci-fi movie with a unique visual style.  My only complaint is the tacked-on feel-good ending.

5. Dog Soldiers

D: Neil Marshall

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A modern werewolf movie done right.  The character design on the werewolves is amazing despite the limited budget. 

4. The Cat Returns
D: Hiroyuki Moriti
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Possibly my favorite Studio Ghibli film, this movie is well animated, funny, charming, and has some great heartwarming moments.

3. The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

D: Peter Jackson

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A good escalation in the Lord of the Rings saga.  Like its predecessor, it’s a near-perfect movie. 

2. 28 Days Later…

D: Danny Boyle

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I’m generally not a big fan of the zombie subgenre, but this is an exception.  By adding atmospheric visuals, character development, effective cinematography and an excellent soundtrack, Danny Boyle made a thrilling and worthwhile zombie movie.

1. Equilibrium

D: Kurt Wimmer

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A movie that has about anything there is to want in a sci-fi/action movie.  My second favorite movie.

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