1997 wasn’t a very good year for movies. Two formerly great directors of the 80’s sold
out and made two soulless, formulaic bores which received heaps of undeserved acclaim. Chris Farley died. Two respectable French directors tried their
hands at science fiction and failed miserably.
George Lucas released the Star
Wars Special Edition, drawing first blood in his ongoing war against his
fans and everything that once made him a great filmmaker. Batman
& Robin happened. So did Anaconda. But that doesn’t
mean there weren’t some good movies…
20. Anaconda
D: Luis Llosa
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Infamously cheesy movie with some bad CGI.
19. The Relic
D: Peter Hyams
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Late 90’s monster movie.
Bafflingly, the movie was actually #1 at the box office, and critics
like Siskel, Ebert and Maltin gave it a pass for some reason. At least Stan Winston made some good creature
effects for it.
18. Spawn
D: Mark A.Z. Dippe
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A foolish movie with some terrible CGI.
17. The Lost World: Jurassic Park
D: Steven Spielberg
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Insulting and stupid sequel to a nostalgic classic. Has little to do with the book. But then again, the book was the result of
Crichton being pressured into a sequel by Spielberg and fans and features
Dodgson and two random guys trying to follow up their clever plan in the
original by personally stealing dinosaur eggs.
16. Con Air
D: Simon West
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While having some fun, cheesy moments of Nicolas Cage
being himself, it was a pretty awful movie.
The hero’s sentence would never have happened except maybe in Oregon,
and then there was Steve Buscemi’s character arc. A serial child murderer, he’s arguably the
most evil person on that plane and yet we’re supposed to have some connection
with him just because he’s not involved with the plot and he’s Steve Buscemi
(which granted granted, makes him hard to hate). He gets a happy ending thanks to a redemption
that’s even more forced and nonsensical than Princess Luna’s. 15. The Postman
D: Kevin Costner
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A bland movie with some brief moments.
14. Alien: Resurrection
D: Jean-Pierre Jeunet
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A pretentious mess that lacks even Alien3’s
virtues. A waste of a good cast which
includes Michael Wincott, Ron Perlman and Brad Dourif. I’m not even sure if we’re supposed to
sympathize with that disgusting newborn alien, but I would be insulting if we
were. Jeunet is an amusingly quirky director, but he was a poor choice for this franchise.
13. Titanic
D: James Cameron
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This is why I hate the Academy Awards. Because James Cameron showed ingenuity and
skill in making Terminator, Terminator 2
and Aliens and this…this is what he gets an Oscar for. Gets offensive and formulaic. The biggest problem is the hackish belief that a movie about the Titanic needed villains. It's at least well-executed enough to be watchable. At least Cameron deserved his Best Director Oscar for this.
12. Batman & Robin
D: Joel Schumacher
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While I do prefer the darker Batman, I would have appreciated the campy interpretation more if the jokes were actually funny like they were in the 1966 movie.
11. The Fifth Element
D: Luc Besson
**********
I think this movie was just another example of the Sci-fi
Slump of the 90’s. They wasted Gary Oldman on a villain who was annoying
and had baffling motivation, and I found the visual style tacky. I see
the appeal, though. It’s got some funny moments, but it’s a
style-over-substance movie whose style I don’t like.
10. Anastasia
D: Don Bluth, Gary Goldman
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It’s funny how Don Bluth left Disney because he thought
they were making the same films over and over and then eventually makes the
same movie Disney was making over and over.
It’s also funny how this was a far bigger critical and commercial success
than Cats Don’t Dance, and that movie
is now far more respected among animation fans.
The formulaic story is bad enough, but the implication that Russian
citizens revolted against the czar because they were brainwashed by a wizard as
opposed to having actual problems is extremely offensive. At least the movie has good animation and
some really good songs.
8. Liar Liar
D: Tom Shadyac
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One of Jim Carrey’s more entertaining comedies.
7. Waiting for Guffman
D: Christopher Guest
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Not as funny as Spinal
Tap or Best in Show, but it’s a
solid addition to Guest’s filmography.
56. Cats Don’t Dance
D: Mark Dindal
**********
Underrated and entertaining cartoon about a lovable group
of anthros trying to make it in Hollywood has recently earned a cult following among animation fans.
5. Men in Black
D: Barry Sonnenfeld
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The closest thing to a great sci-fi movie between T2 and The Matrix. It’s not a
serious scifi movie and it doesn’t have much visual atmosphere, but it’s got
some good characters and some good humor.
4. Jackie Brown
D: Quentin Tarantino
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Probably Tarantino’s most underrated movie. I think the relative commercial failure of
this movie is why he gave up on making movies with solid storylines and
starting making more superficially fun films.
3. Orgazmo
D: Trey Parker
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Hilarious satire of porn by the creators of South Park. I also like the theme song.
D: Roger Spottiswoode
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The movie is brought down by the villain's obviously being a spoof of Ted Turner/Bill Gates, it's still a solid action movie, and the remote-controlled BMW 750i is one of the best Bond Cars there is. It's also pretty fun to see Bond kill Ted Turner.
2. Amistad
D: Steven Spielberg
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Certainly deserved the Oscar more than Titanic.
D: Steven Spielberg
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Certainly deserved the Oscar more than Titanic.
1. Princess Mononoke
D: Hayao Miyazaki
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Imagine if Fern
Gully and Pocahontas actually had
intelligent, complex storytelling,and this is what you get.
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