Scorpio Blatantly Rips Off the Nostalgia Critic (Part 1)

Last night I went to GMX and got to meet Doug Walker, and naturally I’m going to rip him off now.  I love his “Old vs. New” features.  They usually end up being very spot-on, and his Batman vs. the Dark Knight special is one of my favorite of any of his reviews.  It sums up perfectly why I’m one of the few people who prefers Batman over Dark Knight.  I agreed with virtually everything he said in it. 

So I decided to make an unofficial sequel to it with Batman Returns  vs. The Dark Knight Rises.  Both movies immediately followed groundbreaking Batman movies starring the Joker, and, oddly enough…they both bear the title of the previous movie following by a verb beginning with an “R.”  Batman and Dark Knight were both hard acts to follow, and their two sequels…

Well, let’s put it this way: they both exceeded expectations of not meeting the expectations of the originals.   

Both depictions of Batman are heavily flawed.  The BR Batman is often rightly criticized for crossing the line and killing a couple of criminals when he really didn’t have to.  At one point, when some moron attempts to breathe fire on the Batmobile, Batman uses its exhaust to immolate him, almost as if he was just one-upping him.  Still, if not for these frustrating moments, Batman would have been a really well-done character.  Michael Keaton is great as Batman, coming off as unassuming as Bruce Wayne and intimidating as Batman.  I also like his suit a lot more.

DKR Batman is very problematic.  He spent the years between DK and DKR sulking when we were practically promised to see him as an independent vigilante running from the law.  Also, his entire story arc is supposed to be about overcoming doubt and adversity like in Spider-Man 2, but it just fails miserably where that movie succeeded.  His seclusion is out-of-character and just comes off as wangst, and his debilitating injuries are solved through rushed copouts.  He also doesn’t have the dark edge he had in the previous two movies.  And then there’s the voice, which everyone makes fun of.  Christian Bale is a great actor, and his performance as Bruce Wayne is perfect until he puts on the mask and turns into The Cookie Monster.  As many have noted, Michael Keaton’s Batman sounds more natural.  The problem is that Bale already has a dark, gravelly voice.  When he tries to make it darker, it just sounds cartoonish and forced.  He also seems to be trying so hard to make the voice that he can’t even act with it.  Now this makes sense in universe, since Wayne is just trying hard to mask his voice.  He can eventually make it sound more natural as he becomes more experienced as Batman.  Another reason why making Batman go into hiding is not a good call.

While the BR Batman has his frustrating moments, he’s mostly a good interpretation.  The DKR Batman, however, was just one big mistake after another.

Advantage

MICHAEL KEATON

For all the unfaithfulness of these two characterizations, they did boast great costumes.  Their character designs are creative and new, but still appropriately reminiscent of the character’s look.  Too bad that’s where faithfulness ends.

Now where do I start on the Penguin?  Well, the character just completely misses the point.  I like how Burton made him physically deformed and how that fits with his design, but he went too far in making him an outcast.  That appeal could have been accomplished if he had still remained in high society like in the comics.  In fact, it would have been more interesting and made more sense.  The Penguin despite his quirks, is also supposed to be one of Batman’s more restrained villains; here he’s one of the most twisted.  I don’t like the forced Biblical allusions of his being an evil Moses, and I can’t quite identify with his motivations.  He was abandoned as a child, so he’s going to take it out on…other children?  He’s utterly crude and has no self-control while he should be a character with some class.  I also think that casting Danny DeVito was questionable.  He doesn’t seem to be appropriate for this character in his voice in mannerisms, only in his build.  I must say that his costume is great, except when he’s running around in his underwear, which he spends an unsettling amount of time doing.  Finally, this scene is one of the low points of the entire franchise.  Actually, it's a low point in humanity.

Bane’s primary problem is that he’s miscast.  Tom Hardy is a good actor, but sometimes a character is so defined by his ethnicity that you have to cast accordingly.  I would have greatly preferred a Latino actor, particularly Javier Bardem.  Hardy’s Bane sounds too much like a generic evil British guy, which could be okay if it weren’t so out of place.  Also, as everyone else has noted, his organization’s motivations make no sense now that Gotham is relatively safe, especially when they drag out its demise just for shits and giggles.  Seriously, the League of Shadows is now just a League of Trolls in this movie.  While some argue that his characterization is more in line with the comics than the cartoons are, this is offset by the fact that he turns out just to be carrying out Talia Al-Ghul’s plans, rather than formulating his own.  Still, unlike the Penguin, Tom Hardy’s Bane is still an intelligent and formidable villain.  I also love his costume.

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BANE

Michelle Pfeifer’s Catwoman is great.  She’s funny, she’s sultry.  She has a cool costume.  I like Pfeifer’s performance as both a nerdy, put-upon secretary and an aggressive femme fatale.  Her origin story is very interesting and identifiable (with a healthy fantasy twist): an everywoman fed up with the world and lashing out.  She also has great chemistry with Batman.  Their dialogue is funny, especially when they finally figure out their secret identities.  I also like the open ending she has.

Anne Hathaway’s Catwoman, in contrast, is pretty bland.  Christopher Nolan has often been criticized for making female characters that aren’t really characters, and this is a good example of why.  She has a handful of funny one-liners, but for the most part she only exists as a foil for Batman and a plot device.  A lot of people prejudged Ann Hathaway because of her questionable filmography, but she was actually not bad in the role.  I wasn’t so much like “Ugh, I hate her movies,” as much as, “I’ve heard her name…isn’t she in a lot of chick flicks?”  Also I don’t like her costume.  It’s supposed to look high-tech and practical, but it’s mostly bland.  She looks like a teenager who wanted to dress up in a lame “sexy cat” costume for Halloween, but her mom made her cover it up more.  Some elements of the costume, like the loose hair, clash with the supposed practicality.  Hell, she even still has stupid heels, although I did think it was cool that they were serrated and could be used as a weapon.

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MICHELLE PFEIFER

I changed my mind on this one.  Michael Gough’s Alfred is effective as a kindly old man who occasionally helps out.  Michael Caine does more to provide insightful commentary (I like his speeches, sue me.)  He also does undergo some serious emotional conflict in letting Bruce Wayne become Batman, whereas Michael Gough’s qualms are mostly limited to occasionally telling Bruce that he could use a girlfriend.  Michael Caine’s struggles come to a head in DKR when he realizes that he can’t support Batman anymore and quits.  Caine’s scenes, supported by his acting, are very poignant and one of the few elements that DKR actually got right.  I still prefer Michael Gough's unflappable, dry Alfred.  He's a lot more fun.

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MICHAELGOUGH

I almost didn’t include this as a category, because it’s such a no-brainer.  Gary Oldman’s Gordon is awesome.  He actually has an active involvement in the story and is a primary point of contact for Batman.  Pat Hingle’s Gordon is…just there.  Hell, I’m not even sure that screenshot is from BR.  Still, the Tim Burton movies ironically seem to have a less confused impression of what a police commissioner actually does than the Christopher Nolan films (in real life it more to do with political litmus tests than actually fighting crime).  Still, I’m a firm believer of Rule of Cool, and it’s an acceptable break from reality.

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 GARY OLDMAN

I think Max Shreck is a cool character.  He’s a snazzy dresser, he’s witty and at the same time he’s wily and evil.  It might make more sense to pit him against Talia as the corporate villain who controls the Heavy, but that’s not much of a contest.  I thought she was kind of lame.  Instead I put him up against another original supporting character. 

I actually think Matthew Modine’s Deputy Commissioner Foley is an underrated character.  He actually mirrors Batman’s story arc of overcoming doubt and difficulty, but he does it better.  Like Batman, he cowers for a while, but for more understandable reasons: he was intimidated, and he has a family.  In other words, he has a lot more to lose than Batman, and he doesn’t have the luxury of a secret identity.  Despite all this, he still overcomes his fear and faces off against the villains.  How awesome is it when Gordon confronts him earlier in the movie and says, “I’m not asking you to march out in the street in your Dress Blues…” and that’s exactly what he does in the end.  And to top it off, he actually dies in the battle, making the ultimate sacrifice.  He’s one of the few things that DKR got right. 

It seems I made a better case for Foley, and but, you know what, screw objectivity.  I'm giving it to Shreck because he's more fun.    

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MAX SHRECK

Both movies have a different approach to cinematography and visual style.  While Tim Burton chose to have a more fantastical, stylized and Gothic depiction, Christopher Nolan has a grittier, more realistic approach topped off with a distinctive chiaroscuro style.  Both styles look great and are in line with the movies’ overall tones, and are so radically different that it’s difficult to make an objective comparison.  It mostly just goes to personal taste, and I like Tim Burton’s style, which strikes me as more creative.  Also, I find Gotham more believable as a fictional city without the establishing shots of an existing real life city.  BR is Burton style with all the stops pulled out.  The only thing I don’t like about it is the occasional use of hideous green lighting in places like the sewer.

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 BATMAN RETURNS

Danny Elfman’s Batman score is the Batman score.  Nothing captures the feel of the character more than this one did.  In Batman Returns, it’s taken to a new level, retaining what worked while adding great new songs for the Penguin and Catwoman.

Hans Zimmer’s score for Batman Begins was excellent, but it failed to become iconic and distinctive to Batman.  The Dark Knight score took a path of pretentious minimalism (which admittedly fit the tone), but DKR improved upon it and made more passionate, suspenseful music that was fitting for a finale.  Still, it has not surpassed the classic Danny Elfman theme in relevance to the franchise.

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DANNY ELFMAN

Well, the screenshots pretty much say it all.  In BR, Tim Burton exceeded what was appropriate for the action and just made silly crap, like armed penguins.  The Sideshow gang fight at the beginning was entertaining but silly.  The Dark Knight, on the other hand, had more competent and serious action, even if the Bane fights could have been done better.

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DARK KNIGHT RISES

The most important element of the movie, arguably.  Both movies where pretty disappointing.  Far more disappointing than excusable.  They weren’t just underwhelming in comparison to their predecessors, which would have been understandable.  They had baffling mistakes.  However, most of BR’s mistakes were limited to one villain’s character arc; most of the major characters in it were fun and engaging, even if DKR seemed to have a more solid supporting cast.  DKR was just filled with across the board failure.  Both are stylish enough to be worth a look, but I think BR was more successful in being what it wanted to be.  It was trying to be campy and silly, and arguably went overboard, but it succeeded.  DKR was trying to be epic, thrilling and suspenseful, but that suspense was skimped out on, and the movie just came off as underwhelming.  Also, the half-assed fanservice didn't help, either (seriously JOHN Daggett?  Robin being Joseph Gordon-Levitt's actual first name?)   For all its stupidity, Batman Returns was really just a lot more fun, and that’s why it wins the comparison.

Advantage:
BATMAN RETURNS

Batman Returns

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The Dark Knight Rises

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