1983 Movies Ranked

<< 1982   1984 >>

12. Octopussy
D: John Glen
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One of the more forgettable Bonds.  The only really memorable things about this entry are the buzzsaw yo-yo and the fact that Bond dresses up like a clown (a nuclear bomb was about to go off, so he dressed up like a sad clown).  Exiled Prince Guy may be the most forgettable Bond villain in the franchise.

11. Jaws 3D

D: Joe Alves

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While I do like some of the cheesy visuals, it’s pretty stupid.  I still found it more watchable than Jaws 2.

10. Krull

D: Peter Yates

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Like Dune, this is one of those bad early 80’s genre movies that I only like on any level because of its distinctive scenery and effects.  Well, this movie also has a neat mix of fantasy and sci-fi, a good score, and the hilarious miscasting of Liam Neeson as a swashbuckling rascal. 

9. Never Say Never Again

D: Irvin Kershner

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Irvin Kershner went from making the best sequel ever made to making, well, RoboCop 2.  Never Say Never Again is somewhere in between.  It’s basically a more watchable remake of Thunderball. 

8. The Keep

D: Michael Mann

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Lots of potential, but watered down by a studio cut.

7. Scarface

D: Brian De Palma

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This was in my top ten favorite movies when I was young…and then I graduated college.  Still, it’s a great movie with an excellent finale.

6. Videodrome

D: David Cronenberg

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More distinctive gross-outs from David Cronenberg.

5. Mickey's Christmas Carol
D: Burny Mattinson
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Well-animated and earnest adaptation, if a bit watered-down.

4. A Christmas Story

D: Bob Clark

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An above-average Christmas comedy which takes the unique route of telling realistic Christmas story from a child’s point of view.

3. National Lampoon’s Vacation

D: Harold Ramis

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One of the many iconic comedies of the 80’s.

2. The Man with Two Brains

D: Carl Reiner

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One of my favorite overlooked comedies.  I like it even better than Reiner and Martin’s more famous work, The Jerk.

1. Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

D: Richard Marquand

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Yay, we finally made it to the Star Wars Trilogy!  Funny how all these movies came out before I even existed, and yet they’ve done so much to influence my tastes.  I was practically weened off these movies and Disney cartoons (my parents raised right).  This movie does drag on sometimes with the Ewoks (I still think they’re cute), and it does make the mistake of splitting the movie into three simultaneous action scenes, but it’s still great.  Most threequels try to be this movie, attempting to end the series with the best amount of opulence and emotionality, but most of them fail miserably.  Also, I’d like to point out that I believe this movie actually has the best cinematography of the whole series.

<< 1982   1984 >>