2015 Movies Ranked

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25. Jupiter Ascending

D: The Wachowskis

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I had a bad feeling about this, but I still gave it a chance because I’m one of the few people who have liked all the Wachowskis’ movies up to this point.  It wasn’t even ironically enjoyable; it was just boring and unoriginal.  Even the action, an element which the Wachowskis have never disappointed on, was underwhelming.

24. Mortdecai

D: David Koepp

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While it did have some funny moments, a lot of jokes went nowhere.  For the most part, it was a stillborn comedy with a plot that was nothing special.

23. Minions
D: Pierre Coffin, Kyle Balda
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I only went to see it for Scarlet Overkill, who was pretty sexy.  While some of the slapstick is amusing, most of the movie is a pointless waste of time.  I will admit that young Gru's reveal at the end was pretty good fanservice. 


22. Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens

D: J.J. Abrams

**********

Wow, they really went overboard with the Special Edition this time.  It was pretty much a rehash of A New Hope, but that didn’t surprise me much.  I was really disappointed by Finn’s character arc (they really sold up the lie that he would be a Jedi).  There were some good arcs, though.  Han and Leia’s arc was tragic and Luke’s depiction was better than I thought.  Kylo Ren was an interesting and surprisingly vulnerable villain.  Poe was likable, and BB-8 was cute.  The rushed pacing and overdone comic tone made it seem like a spoof of a classic.  Particularly disappointing was John Williams's score, an aspect of the series that was always great even in the prequels.   

21. Spectre

D: Sam Mendes

**********

It’s a fun movie, but it aborts a very good story arc that the series had done a great job building up to that point.  It makes the same mistake that Dark Knight Rises made with Batman.  I hated the theme song when I first heard it, but it’s grown on me.

20. Room
D: Lenny Abrahamson
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An original, effective movie, but not that enjoyable.

19. Black Mass

D: Scott Cooper

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From what I’ve heard, the movie took a really interesting story and simplified it for the sake of an aesthetic decision to depict Whitey Bulger as a demonic character who leads everyone astray.  It’s typical organized crime fare without much to set it apart except for Depp’s Oscar-worthy performance, good cinematography, and some nice shots of the Boston City Hall.

19. Cartel Land
D: Matthew Heineman
**********
An informative but oddly forgettable documentary.


18. Bone Tomahawk
D: S. Craig Zahler
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Watched this based on some enthusiastic recommendations.  Good, but a bit overpraised.


17. Ex Machina

D: Alex Garland

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Saw this hoping for a truly original SF movie.  It’s a typical plot, but its exploration of artificial consciousness does set it apart.  Still, what the fuck was with that asinine line about favorite colors?

16. Blackhat

D: Michael Mann

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This movie got some attention because of its relatively realistic depiction of hacking.  The gunfights and visual style were disappointing coming from Michael Mann, but it was certainly more watchable than Miami Vice (2006).  Though it was a huge flop, it was a decent movie that at least deserved to make its money back.

15. Crimson Peak

D: Guillermo del Toro

**********

A visually beautiful but predictable horror movie.  Between this and Pacific Rim, I’m getting the feeling that del Toro is using his visual style as a crutch.  Also, “I’M NOT AFRAID OF LUCILLE!  SHE LIES!”

14. Inside Out

D: Pete Docter

**********

Very creative movie that lives up to my expectations for Pixar.  Poor Bing-Bong.

13. Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation

D: Christopher McQuarrie

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A decent popcorn movie, but not the best in the series.  The leading lady was hyped, but she was mostly typical Bond girl material.  I liked the villain.

12. The Peanuts Movie

D: Steve Martino

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Aside from a couple bad pop songs, the movie is an earnest and passable adaptation.  The best part is the animation, which combines 2-D simplicity and 3-D detail in a way that’s beautiful and distinctive.

11. The Martian

D: Ridley Scott

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I good, funny movie with an optimistic portrayal of space exploration.  Matt Damon is lovably smarmy, and the comic relief really helps make the movie fun.  I’m not sure I can remove Scott from this list, though.  The film is visually generic and has little directorial vision.  It mostly seemed like a competent execution of a good script with a solid cast (think Brett Ratner and Red Dragon).

10. Bridge of Spies
D: Steven Spielberg
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A solid movie about America and what it stands for vs. the Soviet Union.


9. Maggie

D: Henry Hobson

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I’m not a big fan of earnest zombie movies, but this is a heartfelt drama that features a surprisingly vulnerable Arnold Schwarzenegger.  For those of you expecting action/survival, don’t get your hopes up.  Unless it’s emotional survivial or something.

8. The Revenant
D: Alejandro G. Inarritu
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Excellent cinematography, but otherwise not much to write home about.  Chances are you probably figured out the plot from watching the trailer.  The CGI bear is a little out-of-place.  I would have preferred some well-executed animatronics like those in The Grey.

7. The Good Dinosaur

D: Peter Sohn

**********

It takes the Bambi/Don Bluth formula and milks it for all it’s worth.  What it lacks in originality, it makes up for in execution.  The character designs are great and Arlo is one of the most adorable cartoon characters I’ve ever seen (and people think the Minions are cute).    I was nonplussed when Arlo seemingly killed the fleeing, wounded antagonist at the end (and people complained about Man of Steel).

6. Krampus
D: Michael Dougherty
**********
I did have some problems with the movie's sometimes clumsy attempts to reconcile humor with suspense.  Still, the movie had great design and effects which contributed to a B-Movie atmosphere with a Christmas twist.  That, combined with some effective comic relief, made this much like the movie Drag Me to Hell should have been.  I think it could have been more faithful to the legend, though. 


5. The Lobster
D: Yorgos Lanthimos
**********
A dark satire about relationships and how we go about them whose absurdist humor is a bit dry for some people.


4. The Hateful Eight

D: Quentin Tarantino

**********

Not as fun as Django, but well-executed.  I might have to watch it again to see if there’s any subtle foreshadowing.  I respect the movie for not doing a recap montage during the reveal.  The 70mm cinematography is excellent, and so is the sound editing.  It would be a shame if Ennio Morricone does not win a belated Oscar for the haunting score.  I noticed some parallels to The Thing (Kurt Russell, Ennio Morricone, bunch of people in blizzard environment being suspicious of each other, the movie’s ending with a black guy and a white guy getting over their differences and waiting to die together.) 

3. The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 2

D: Francis Lawrence

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A solid end to a well-executed series.  It does get brutal at times, and Philip Seymour Hoffman’s partial absence is felt.

2. Mad Max: Fury Road

D: George Miller

**********

Visually brilliant movie with great design.  Practical effects, coherent and effectively simple plot…these all seem like a lost art.  One of the few effective attempts by a great director to revisit his old classics.  It doesn’t just work, it’s actually an improvement.  This movie (or Crimson Peak) should sweep all the design-based awards.  Liked the energetic score, too.

1. The VVitch
D: Robert Eggers
**********
A unique masterpiece of horror.  Would easily be the best film of the year if not for...

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