Friday, December 9, 2016

10th Anniversaries, Pt. 1



 
300
2006
D: Zack Snyder
**********
Pros: Some Witty Moments of Dialogue, Some Good Fight Choreography
Cons: Poorly Thought Out Moral Themes, Protagonists, Action Style

       Today is the 10th anniversary of one of my least favorite films, so I might as well review it.  With Zack Snyder’s helming the consistently mediocre DC Cinematic Universe, everybody refers to this and his remake of Dawn of the Dead as a promising start to a disappointing career.  I, however, believe his movies have improved since these two, even if they’re still not particularly good.  In addition to being a very tacky movie, 300 was rather popular among many Republicans because of its supposed relevance to the war in Iraq. 
       The battle of Thermopylae is a difficult event to adapt into a modern story.  On one hand it was a valiant stand against a superior force that influenced the direction of Western Civilization.  On the other, Sparta was an inhuman totalitarian state.  Even World War II movies about Germans, who weren’t all corrupted by Nazi ideology, are easier to write sympathetically.  A more complex attempt to humanize this conflict could be seen in Steven Pressfield’s Gates of Fire, but that ends up being rather awkward (particularly the story arc of Rooster, a helot who has every reason not to fight alongside the Spartans but does anyway).  Unfortunately, many people don’t seem too concerned over this.  Frank Miller’s does not see conflicted in his celebration of their strength, probably due to his being influenced by Objectivism.
       And the first five minutes give us all the reason we need to root against the Spartans.  The introduction covers the childhood of a young Leonidas (Tyler Neitzel) as he faces his brutal childhood training.  In addition to the brutal combat conditioning of the Spartans throughout their whole lives, the movie makes no effort to hide one of the society’s most inhuman customs, the murder of “imperfect” infants.  This moment made the movie’s popularity among conservatives even more confusing, because I was always under the impression we were against this kind of thing.  This all occurs while the narrator, Dilios (David Wenham), romantically pontificates on how awesome the Spartans are for their dedication to martial skills.  The problem with this is that a society that values militarism above all else without much to fight for sets itself up for weakness.  It’s important to have a strong military as we do, but we don’t want to be North Korea, which actually is weaker than the more cosmopolitan South Korea.  Also, Athens had comparable might without having to depend on intimidation of a volatile slave class to provide basic needs.  A balanced, free society is a strong society.
 
Um-
      As king, Leonidas (Gerard Butler) is accosted by a Persian messenger (Peter Mensah), who requests that he give King Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro) tribute.  Leonidas turns him down and then panders to some in the audience by saying that the “boy-loving” Athenians did so too (institutionalized pederasty was a tool of unit cohesion in real life Sparta).  With the permission of his wife Gorgo (Lena Headey), he murders the messenger and his bodyguards by dumping them down a well.  The corrupt Ephor who manages the Oracle (Kelly Craig) advises against war because he’s under the Persians.  This is probably a reflection of Miller’s more secularist hang-ups.  The same applies to corrupt politician Theron (Dominic Green).  Without official support, Leonidas departs to the eponymous Hot Gates with a small force of 300 soldiers, plus a few Arcadians.  Before he leaves he makes love to Gorgo.  While it is one of the more justified sex scenes in a movie, there was a moment that got laughs.
      In an early skirmish Stelios (Michael Fassbender) dispatches a small group of Persians.  When Canadian politician Tyrone Benskin tells him “Our arrows will blot out the sun,” he replies with the iconic “Then we will fight in the shade.”  An expatriate Spartan hunchback Ephialtes (Andrew Tiernan) offers his help.  Leonidas, sympathetic to his request now that he’s too old to be fair game for eugenic slaughter, tells him that he would only be a burden on the battlefield.  He gives him a reasonable offer to be useful in other ways, which is counterintuitive considering Sparta’s culture.  The heartbroken Ephialtes offers his services to Xerxes in the middle of the latter’s lesbian/furry orgy.  This seems to be consistent with Miller’s Randian attitude that physical weakness is somehow a sign of corruption. 
        After some projected fighting, Leonidas goes alone to parlay with Xerxes.  In one of his smarter and funnier moments, he points out that if he gets assassinated the council will certainly approve the needed war.  He rejects Xerxes’ demands by invoking empty platitudes of freedom (yeah, tell that to the Helots, who are never mentioned in this movie).  Still, his suspicion of Xerxes’ megalomania is healthy.    
      Meanwhile, Theron tells Gorgo that he will convince the council to support Leonidas if she submits to sex with him.  When she submits, he brutally does so, telling her “This will not be over quickly. You will not enjoy this.”  When he ends up backstabbing her after she delivers the most phoned-in, generic freedom speech I’ve ever heard at the council hearing, she stabs him while saying that same line to him.  Luckily, his bribe money just spills out, and the council is convinced that the war is just.  So the lesson is that if some politician objects to war, he must be on the enemy’s payroll, and you can murder him on the floor.  That’s how republics work, after all.
     While the Spartans can be judged by their actions, the Persians are mostly otherized by their appearance.  Xerxes is flamboyantly effeminate, and soldiers are dressed in exaggerated Middle Eastern trappings (though they actually look pretty cool).  In classic form, the villains are much better dressed than the Spartans, who are simply dressed in diapers and capes.  The ninja-like Immortals are my favorite design.  It gets particularly amusing when the narration exposits that the Persians then “used their magic,” and it cuts to these guys' throwing bombs. 
It was the best coordination of narration for comic effect I've seen outside Arrested Development.
In addition to this, some of their soldiers are depicted as almost non-human.  There’s a large, mindless, ghoul called the Über Immortal (Robert Maillet), and a deformed fatman who executes failed Persian generals with his severed arm axes.  Despite this, the Persians seem more like America than Iraq in context: a large cosmopolitan nation invading a small, tyrannical one.  Seems some fans got this backwards.  At one point, the movie attempts to pass judgment on Persia for having a draft, because that’s so much worse than training boys to be killing machines from birth.
      In contrast, the Spartans are depicted as physically perfect male specimens in a state of near undress (period accurate armor would be more interesting).  Critics on the Left have accused the movie of a sort of homoeroticism that contrasts with its apparent homophobia.  Fans on the Right have defended this as idealization.  This is an interesting reversal of roles in regards to depictions of the human form in other comics.  Usually, the Left cries objectification of female characters, while dismissing male equivalents as idealization, whereas the Right disagrees.  Funny and convenient how the rules change with this movie/comic.  Doesn’t matter who’s right, the movie sucks anyway.
      “But, Scorpio,” you say, “maybe you’re taking this too seriously.  It’s just a movie.”  Ok, fine, I guess if you like this for subjective, fun-based reasons, that’s ok.  Can’t argue with that.  Still, this movie does not appeal  to my tastes enough to even grant it the status of a guilty pleasure.  The biggest stylistic problem this movie has is how the action is edited.  While some of the fights are well choreographed, they suffer mainly as a result of Snyder’s affinity for fight scenes that slow down and speed up for no good reason.  Usually you can slow down at dramatic points in the fight that make sense, but when this is done wrong, it ruins the immersive effect of the action.  In 300 this is done in a way that makes it look like every hack movie that came out a year after The Matrix.  Fortunately, only Snyder and Timur Bekmambetov insist on doing fight scenes that make you feel like you’re trying to get up to highway speeds with a bad transmission.  Oddly enough, the trailer used the slow motion more consistently for better effect (and was set to a good song).  I feel the same way about this trope that most people seem to feel about shaky-cam.  In fact, I was one of the few people who was relieved by the action scenes in Man of Steel.  The cartoonishly exaggerated CG blood didn’t help, either.  Also, the cheesy performances are a waste of a good cast.   
       Not to say that the movie doesn’t have it strengths.  The blue screen look, inspired by Sin City, is interesting and it foreshadowed one of Snyder’s visual strengths.  Despite how inept a director he is, his movies tend to be quite pretty to look at.  Tyler Bates’ energetic score may not fit the setting, but it’s definitely fun to listen to.  The movie is also not without its good lines; the Spartans are very witty, even their real-life counterparts inspired the word “laconic” for a reason.
          It was interesting how this movie marked a turning point in how bad movies could be; bad movies before 2007 just don’t seem to compare to the ones made afterward.  300 could be a watershed moment.  My main problem, however, is that it is one of the most morally inverted movies I have seen.  It invites one to ignore principle and root for its protagonists primarily based on their ability to fight, as opposed to what they fight for.  It’s might makes right.  One of the reasons I love Gladiator, in addition to being a much better movie than this, is its prevailing theme is one of might for right (not to say it’s without its own flaws).  This, along with the movie’s gauche nature and supposed conservative appeal made it like the Donald Trump of movies.  Having the integrity to stand up for your beliefs and fight for them is great, but the ability to fight means nothing if we forget what we’re fighting for.   
      

THERON: It is the law, my lord. The Spartan army must not go to war.
LEONIDAS:  Nor shall it. I've issued no such orders. I'm here, just taking a stroll, stretching my legs. These, uh, 300 men are my personal bodyguard.

PERSIAN: A thousand nations of the Persian empire will descend upon you. Our arrows will blot out the sun!
STELIOS: Then we will fight in the shade.

XERXES: You Greeks take pride in your logic. I suggest you employ it. Consider the beautiful land you so vigorously defend. Picture it reduced to ash at my whim! Consider the fate of your women!
LEONIDAS: Clearly you don't know our women! I might as well have marched them up here, judging by what I've seen.

LEONIDAS: Captain, I leave you in charge.
CAPTAIN: But, sire…
LEONIDAS: Relax, old friend. If they assassinate me, all of Sparta goes to war. Pray they're that stupid. Pray we're that lucky. [bites apple and talks with his mouth full] Besides, there's no reason we can't be civil, is there?

The Persians have demanded that Lenidas gives in now that the battle is lost.
DILIOS: His helmet is stifling. [Leonidas takes off helmet and drops it]  His shield is heavy. [He drops his shield]
PERSIAN GENERAL: Your spear.
LEONIDAS: [To Ephialtes] You are Ephialtes.  May you live forever.
PERSIAN GENERAL: Leonidas, your spear.
[Leonidas drops spear and bows, then signals to Stelios to make one final attack]
DILIOS: His helmet was stifling, it narrowed his vision. And he must see far. His shield was heavy. It threw him off balance. And his target is far away. [Leonidas throws spear at Xerxes, grazing his face]

DILIOS: [before leaving] Sire, any message?
LEONIDAS: For the queen?  [gives him his wolf fang pendant]  None that need to be spoken.

DILIOS: Just there the barbarians huddle, sheer terror gripping tight their hearts with icy fingers... knowing full well what merciless horrors they suffered at the swords and spears of three hundred. Yet they stare now across the plain at *ten thousand* Spartans commanding thirty thousand free Greeks!

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