One of the masters of horror. Carpenter is a masterful visual director
whose movies have a unique atmosphere and sense of suspense. He also provides a great synthesized score for
most of his films. Unfortunately, his
talent seemed to have waned greatly by the 90’s.
17. Escape from LA
1996
**********
A rehash of the first movie’s plot except with everything
you liked about it turned to s---. The
great effects of the original are replaced by fake bluescreen stunts and CGI so
bad it makes the plane crash from Air
Force One look like Avatar. Whatever tone the first one had is sacrificed
for overdone camp; everything in this movie is a forced joke. Even the more complex depiction of statism is
replaced by a straw version of the Religious Right.
16. Starman
1984
**********
I think this movie is what embarrassed Karen Allen into obscurity. Despite some nice scattered visuals, it’s essentially a pseudoromantic E.T. wannabe. And like in most cloying movies about obnoxiously idealized aliens, the military wants to blow him up for no reason. The only relatable character was the balding SETI guy.
15. Village of the Damned
1995
**********
A lackluster remake with more cheesy moments than actual scares. Oddly enough, my seeing commercials for this film as a kid was the first time I heard of Carpenter.
14. Vampires
1998
**********
It’s an earlier attempt at a modernized take on vampires and vampire hunting, but it’s a pretty lackluster work in general.
13. They Live
1988
**********
Basically an extreme-left propaganda piece with some
nostaligic 50’s scifi trappings. A
particularly ugly movie for its earnest theme of otherizing ideological
opponents in the same way we’re increasingly guilty of today. Any complex commentary is eschewed in favor
of extreme Manicheanism. It’s pretty
much everything wrong with The Matrix
without any of the style or fun. Still, there's something to the frustration of the working class man that it taps into.
12. Prince of Darkness
1987
**********
The religious edition of the Apocalypse Trilogy is atmospheric, but what ruins it is the one
scene in which it’s revealed that the Catholic Church pretty much lied about
the basic premise of Christianity.
Having a cameo by Alice Cooper was pretty cool, though, and the movie
includes one of his best songs.
11. Body Bags
w/Tobe Hooper
1993
**********
An anthology movie that starts out strong with the
straightforward, effective “Gas Station” segment, follows up with the decent
and humorous “Hair.” What brings it down
is “The Eye,” a dreadfully dull and silly segment starring Mark Hamill’s bad
Southern accent and Twiggy’s even worse Southern accent. The anthology features many cameos by people
like Sam Raimi and Wes Craven.
10. Big Trouble in Little China
1986
**********
It has some good visuals, but it really didn’t do that
much for me. I really don’t think
light-hearted camp is one of Carpenter’s strong suits.
9. Halloween
1978
**********
I’m not the biggest fan of slasher movies, but this one
is very well-directed. I don’t know
enough about horror to know what this movie borrowed from, though. It deserves more credit for highlighting its
promising young director than for inspiring the slasher craze.
8. Dark Star
1974
**********
A humorous space movie with some interesting ideas
and impressive design for its low budget.
The sapient bombs are a pretty fun idea.
7. Christine
1983
**********
Good directing makes an overstyled 50’s car look
scary. The best part of the movie is
Arnold Cunningham’s (Keith Gordon) descent into obsession, paranoia, and
insanity.
6. The Fog
1980
**********
A straightforward horror movie with great atmosphere. Carpenter at his best as a visual director.
5. Assault on Precinct 13
1976
**********
A grungy action movie with a low-budget charm that doesn’t
pull any punches.
4. Elvis
1979
**********
If you’re not a fan of horror movies, I suggest this
well-made TV biopic about The King. Kurt
Russell is well cast in the role, which focuses on Elvis’ struggle to establish
himself as a classic while dealing with his personal issues. I just wish there were more Roman candle
fights in it.
1994
**********
Carpenter’s take on Lovecraft is probably his most
underrated film. A brief flash of
brilliance during his 90’s slump.
2. Escape from New York
1981
**********
A unique and fun vision of the future of 20 years ago. An action classic.
1. The Thing
1982
**********
My favorite horror movie.
A great combination of character-driven paranoia and gore. Works very well because everyone, including
the monster, act rationally.
BONUS ROUND!
Best John Carpenter Scores
13. Escape from LA
11. Vampires
10. Ghosts of Mars
4. Halloween
3. The Thing (by Ennio Morricone, but pretty much in John
Carpenter style. One of the most
undeserved Razzies)
1. The Fog
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