Scorpio Blatantly Rips Off the Nostalgia Critic (Part 2)

So before the new Bond movie comes out, I decided to do another Old vs. New with my two favorite Bond movies.  Now, I have to admit that my choice of the “Old” may be a bit surprising and shows just how young I am (Hell, I never watched James Bond, Jr. but I heard of it before I even knew who James Bond was.  Try to wrap your head around that).  The truth is this is a personal choice.  In addition to having most of the iconic Bond tropes, GoldenEye is actually first Bond movie I ever watched.  Despite the nostalgic value it has for me, I really think that this movie has stood up well to my adult tastes.  This sounds iconoclastic, but I’m not the biggest fan of the “classic” Bond movies (with the exception of Dr. No and Goldfinger).  I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that 60’s action scenes are pretty underwhelming.  In addition to having the best action of any Bond movie up to that point, GoldenEye also has stronger characterization.  Bond has always been an asshole, but in this movie he’s actually called out for it, and he even seems aware on some level of what he is.  The villain also has a more personal relationship with him.  Some people might do a comparison between both Casino Royale movies, but I haven’t seen the 1967 version and I doubt it would be much of a contest.  

So now that I’ve scared everyone away, I’ll do the comparison for those of you who are still with me.

As I said before, GoldenEye is the first Bond movie I watched, and, thanks to this movie, I actually prefer Brosnan over Connery. Brosnan is handsome and suave, while still coming off as cold and brutal.  He has a perfect look for Bond, even if GoldenEye was the only Bond movie that used him right (I’m not a big fan of his other Bond movies).

When I found out that Daniel Craig was going to play Bond, I was as skeptical.    I even joined a facebook group called “Bond Ain’t Blonde.”  It didn’t help that the only other blonde Bond, Roger Moore, was pretty awful.  It also didn’t help that he looked like one of my college friends.  And then I watched the movie.  Aside from the movie’s generally being awesome, I was impressed by Craig’s performance.  He deserves a lot of credit for succeeding despite such overwhelming negative expectations.  Pretty much everyone’s on board with him except for people who think that Transformers is a good movie.  He’s appropriately brutal, with a bit of a heart and a dry snarky wit, making him very fun to watch.  His voice sounds cooler than Brosnan’s, and, when this Bond makes a one-liner, it sounds funnier.  The only problem is that he doesn’t fit the suaveness or have any superficial charm.  Because he’s Bond, he obviously has magic poon powers, but can you seriously picture Craig being able to talk a girl into bed with two lines?  It doesn’t help that he always has that crew cut.  He looks great in the above promotional photo with his hair grown out, and you’d think that they’d do that in the later movies, but they don’t.   Still I find Crag’s Bond more human, showing some depth and heart despite his roughness.

Although I do find Craig’s Bond more complex and sympathetic, Brosnan plays the part a whole lot better.

Advantage:

GOLDENEYE

I know villains like Goldfinger and Blofeld are more famous, but I’m sorry.  Trevelyan is the best Bond villain by far.  The reason he’s so great is because of his past with Bond.  A former friend an ally who feels betrayed by the hero, he’s actually a rare example in which Bond’s moral ambiguity actually comes back to haunt him.  A former 00 agent he can match wits and punches with Bond.  He also can be suave and classy at times.  It also helps that he’s played by one of my all-time favorite actors.  His physical deformity (some decidedly non-disfiguring burn scars on part of his face) is a bit underwhelming, though.  Oddly enough, Javier Bardem’s character in Skyfall sounds suspiciously familiar…

I love the Craig Bonds, but they seem to have relatively weak villains.  Fortunately, Skyfall seems to be addressing this problem with Javier Bardem.  In Casino Royale you have the one-eyed pansy, and Quantum of Solace has a generic guy.  Le Chiffre is still a memorable character who has a decent deformity.  Some would argue that the fact that he’s a relatively vulnerable and human villain who’s acting in desperation is realistic and compelling.  I partially agree, but I often prefer a charismatic evil genius.

Advantage:

GOLDENEYE

This is actually a tough call.  At first I was going to give this to Vesper because of her role in the story.  She’s the Bond girl that Bond actually falls in love with, and her death motivates him after the movie.  Then I realized that this has more to do with the “Story” category.  Vesper may be a good character, but she’s mostly interesting as a foil for Bond.  Natalya is actually a far stronger character.  In contrast to her infamous 64-bit avatar, she’s actually smart and has an independent role in the movie.  She’s almost like a second protagonist.  I know there have been many “strong woman” types in the Bond series, but she seems more relatable and believable.  She’s average-looking (not a supermodel), she’s a competent computer programmer (rather than a scientific genius), and she can competently defend herself when needed.  She’s patriotic, and apparently not as easily extorted into helping the villains, like Vesper.  We also identify with her more than in previous Bond films, especially when she deals with the terror and grief during the Severanaya massacre.  She even calls Bond out on what kind of person he is.  Unfortunately, she has to have sex with Bond in the end, because…Bond has to have sex with the Bond girl in the end, apparently.  Still that’s more of a “Story” issue…

Advantage:

GOLDENEYE

Although Dame Judi Dench is going up against herself in this comparison, these two M’s are actually polar opposites.  GE M is a product of the peaceful modern era of the 90’s and must deal with Bond, who is a holdover from the Cold War.  CR M is the holdover from the Cold War who has to deal with Bond as well as facing the more chaotic violence caused by terrorism.  I prefer CR M because, whereas GE M seems to be a bureaucrat, she seems to be brutal.  I can see her doing some dirty spy work in her own day.  She has more of a temper which leads to some great lines. (“In the old days if an agent did something that embarrassing, he’d have the good sense to defect.  C-----, I miss the Cold War!”)

Advantage:

CASINO ROYALE

Mollaka has some great parkour moves, and his scene is one of the best movie footchases I’ve seen, but he’s mostly a glorified mook, rather than a real character.  Xenia, however, is a genuine villain, and a rather twisted one at that.  Not only does she have a memorable way of killing some of her victims, she’s a literal sadist.  She doesn’t just enjoy murdering people, she actually gets sexually aroused when she does it.  Watch her slaughter the Severnaya staff; it’s even disturbing to one of the other villains.  Combine that with a sexy appearance and you’ve got a perfect femme fatale.

Advantage:

GOLDENEYE

Jeffrey Wright is calm and cool as Leiter and even manages to pretty much bail Bond out in the movie.  He's intelligent and calculating, rather than brutal like Bond is.  Still, I like Wade more because I think he's funny and he even has a cutie mark.

Advantage:
GOLDENEYE

Even though these are my two favorite Bond movies, they didn’t do justice to one of the foremost Bond tropes.  Although the classic Aston DB5 makes an appearance in both movies.  The original Bond cars in the movies are pretty underwhelming.  GoldenEye started the brief trend of Bond’s driving BMW’s but the beautiful Z3 is a big tease.  They dedicate a scene to describing all the cool features that would make it a great Bond car (Stinger missiles behind the headlights, for example), but we didn’t see it do anything.  They even have a car chase in the movie without it.  It’s the wrong color, too; Bond cars should be silver, or some other neutral color. 

The DBS lacks the Bond goodies, but at least that fits the gritty nature of its movie.  It does have a few things, like (for some reason) a defibrillator which Bond (coincidentally) ends up needing.  Maybe the glove compartment is like the Room of Requirement from Harry Potter.  Outside that, Bond doesn’t do much with the car besides total it.  Still, it’s better than hyping up a car and not doing jack with it.  Also, it’s prettier than the Z3 and it’s in the right color.   

Advantage:

CASINO ROYALE

This is a tough call.  Both movies were made by the same director and have effective cinematography that looks good for its time.  They both have some artful moments, like the first face-off between Trevelyan and Bond in GoldenEye and the effective use of black-and-white and Dutch angles in the first scene of Casino Royale.  Overall, CR looks better, but that’s mostly due to standardized improvements in cinematography over the years; this gives Goldeneye a more distinctive feel.  I’ll give it to GoldenEye because of its use of miniatures, which I find to be a refreshing departure from trying to pass off American planes as MiGs.  It also has some creative use of scenery it does not get credit for.

Advantage:

GOLDENEYE

 

Both songs are great; in fact they’re my two favorite Bond songs.  “You Know My Name” has better lyrics that have more of an impact and possess more relevance to its respective story, but I think “GoldenEye” sounds better.  Also, the visuals of the “GoldenEye” intro, which are symbolic of the fall of communism occurring at the point in the movie, are much better than that of “You Know My Name,” which looks like it was made in someone’s spare time in Adobe Flash.   

Advantage:

GOLDENEYE

Though most people probably do not like Eric Serra’s techno soundtrack to GoldenEye, I think it can it sounds bold, distinctive and atmospheric.  Still, it has its moments of stupidity.  David Arnold’s score is more generic in tone but even-handed, makes good use of the motifs from the intro song, and has a poignant leitmotif for Vesper.  For the most part it holds off the actual Bond theme until the last scene, but the effect is somewhat spoiled by the fact that part of that song was already played in the middle of the movie.

Advantage:

CASINO ROYALE

Both movies have great action (once again, same director).  GoldenEye has a very good stunt at the beginning.  I’m sure a lot of work went into making sure Brosnan’s stuntman didn’t become a stain on the side of that dam, but that crane fight in CR does a lot more to provoke my acrophobia.  The gunfights from GE are visceral (especially in the uncut version) they’re matched by the fistfights and footchase in CR.  It’s close…if only a moment tie breaker where a movie did something really awesome or incredibly stupi-OH.

Advantage:

CASINO ROYALE

Both movies have great stories that were more substantial than previous entries in the franchise.  For those of you thinking that nostalgia goggles are the main reason I think so highly of GoldenEye, when was a kid I thought this scene was boring.  Now I see it as a great dramatic moment that helps make the movie substantial.  It explored Bond more as a fleshed out character and gave him a mission that challenged him on an emotional level.  He still was a bastard (his method of killing Trevelyan is pretty disturbing in how it’s what passes for some sort of twisted closure on his part).  GoldenEye had some great characters that I already described, but I’m gonna give this one to Casino Royale. 

Although I said that Brosnan is a better Bond than Craig, The CR Bond is more human and fleshed out.  He’s tested even more emotionally in this movie than in GE.  Also, whereas GE makes a better conventional Bond movie, CR totally broke the mold.  It’s a compelling origin story for Bond, rather than another Bond movie.  It’s not afraid to tell a grittier story that breaks some of the shallow conventions of the franchise.  As I mentioned before, Natalya is one of the best Bond girls, but she must get screwed by Bond at the end because you apparently you can’t have the Bond girl NOT have sex with Bond (I admire Quantum of Solace for completely ignoring this “requirement”).  Craig’s Bond had sex with Vesper, but they were actually in love.

 

Advantage:

CASINO ROYALE

This was close, but I went with GoldenEye.  This wasn't the first of the series to treat Bond as a serious character, but it was the first one I know of that did it well.  It also combines this strength with a healthy does of Bond gimmicks and a stronger cast.

GoldenEye

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Casino Royale

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