18. Toys
D: Barry Levinson
**********
It has some good humor, but its obnoxious story and
message of “war toys are bad” ruin it.
17. FernGully: The Last Rainforest
D: Bill Kroyer
**********
16. Aces: Iron Eagle III
D: John Glen
**********
An absurd action movie in which drug trouble out at a
WWII air show. The day is decided by
people dogfighting in obsolete aircraft, and a Scaled Composites ARES is passed
off as a “Messerschmitt 263” (Get it? It’s like 262+1). It’s described as “the plane that would have
won the war for Germany” as if Germany’s problems could have been solved by a
new plane in 1945. Also, for some reason
the air show uses paintball rounds in
its performances.
D: Jon Acevski
**********
An all-out assault on logic. So bad it’s good.
14. Bram Stoker’s Dracula
D: Francis Ford Coppola
**********
Visually arresting, well-acted (with the exception of
Keanu Reeves) and almost faithful to the novel, this movie would have been
excellent if they had not shipped Mina with Dracula. The yiff scene didn’t exactly help either.
13. Alien3
D: David Fincher
**********
Good visuals and atmosphere don’t make up for the slow
pacing and the depressing retcon of the previous movie’s ending. However, unlike T3, it didn't pretend we could have fun after doing that; it respected our subjectivity.
12. Aladdin
D: Ron Clements, John Musker
**********
It’s not a bad cartoon and it has some very good songs,
but it doesn’t do that much for me. I
guess that I’m not too big a fan of Jafar, and the villain goes a long way in
these Disney movies. Also, Robin
Williams’ pop cultural references don’t help.
11. Under Siege
D: Andrew Davis
**********
Overall, the movie’s not that good, but Gary Busey and
Tommy Lee Jones make it enjoyable.
10. Unforgiven
D: Clint Eastwood
**********
Clint Eastwood apparently wanted this to be some type of
anti-gun screed, but it kind of backfired.
Seeing as how the villain is a corrupt, gun-grabbing tyrant, and the
problems of the movie come from his abuses, I don’t see it. Still, a well-made, gritty Western.
9. The Muppet Christmas Carol
D: Brian Henson
**********
A fun and humorous adaptation that stays faithful while adding the charm of the Muppets. Some good music, too.
8. A Few Good Men
D: Rob Reiner
**********
Memorable characters and some good lines. I like Tom Cruise’s cynical character because
I was in the Navy and I didn’t like it one little bit.
7. Patriot Games
D: Phillip Noyce
**********
The best of the Jack Ryan movies. Very thrilling and suspenseful actioner with
a unique atmosphere. Harrison Ford is
perfectly cast as Ryan, and Sean Bean is one of my favorite actors.
6. Dead Alive
D: Peter Jackson
**********
Army of Darkness is my favorite horror comedy, but this
could be the runner-up. The memorably
over-the-top violence and humor make this a zomedy classic.
5. The Last of the Mohicans
D: Michael Mann
**********
An excellent period piece that avoids the noble savage
fallacy.
4. Hard Boiled
D: John Woo
**********
Chow Yun-fat’s charisma helped, but it’s the phenomenal action
sequences that make this one of the best shoot’em ups ever. It’s too bad I haven’t seen a truly
worthwhile movie from Woo since he started filming for America. My advice is to ignore that junk (with the exception of Hard Target and maybe Face/Off) and just
watch his Hong Kong stuff.
3. Porco Rosso
D: Hayao Miyazaki
**********
A very imaginative and fun movie with a likable
protagonist. My favorite Miyazaki movie.
D: Tim Burton
**********
I can’t give it too much credit because of how poorly
executed the Penguin’s character is, but I still love it. The visual
style is Tim Burton at his best, the chemistry between Batman and Catwoman is
good and the movie has a lot of humor. Danny Elfman does a great job with the score, making a good leitmotif for Catwoman and a very poignant one for the Penguin. I'm more charitable about it now since I care less about faithfulness to the source material.
1. Evil Dead III: The Army of Darkness
D: Sam Raimi
**********
The best horror comedy ever.
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