Tuesday, September 4, 2012

1995 Movies Ranked





Actually, a really good year for films.



24. Clueless
D: Amy Heckerling
**********
An annoying, unwatchable and overpraised hour and a half of annoying characters constantly spewing irritating Valspeak.  I’ve never liked “satires” that simply forcefeed you the thing they’re supposedly satirizing.  On the plus side, Cher's lack of malice makes her status as "popular girl" more believable than in most high school dreck, in which the girls are popular even though they treat everyone like trash.


23. Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers: The Movie
D: Bryan Spicer
**********
An absurd movie based on a mediocre show.  Bad villain and really bad CGI.  The music is fun, though, and this song is a guilty pleasure.


22. Mortal Kombat
D: Paul W.S. Anderson
**********
Video game movies were always bad, but at least they had a campy sense of humor until this movie came out.  They also had cheap but charming practical effects which this movie replaced with bad CGI.  Not only did it have pretenses of earnestness, it was the mainstream debut of Paul W.S. Anderson.  At least the theme song is cool. 


21. Johnny Mnemonic
D: Robert Longo
**********
A classically bad 90’s cyberpunk movie, but the monomolecular whip is pretty cool.


D: Gary Fleeter
**********
A blatant Pulp Fiction wannabe I only watched a while back because I liked Andy Garcia.


19. Mallrats
D: Kevin Smith
**********
A disappointing sequel to Clerks with only a few small laughs.


18. One Tough Bastard
D: Kurt Wimmer
**********
This was the directorial debut of Kurt Wimmer, who directed one of my favorite movies and one of my favorite bad movies.  He was fired halfway through, but you can see some suggestions of his style.  Still, it’s a bland, formulaic revenge movie with an anticlimactic subplot concerning experimental assault rifles.  The only memorable part of it is a cheesy but amusing villain played by Bruce Payne.


17. Judge Dredd
D: Danny Cannon
**********
It has some decent scenery and may be amusingly cheesy at times, but it’s pretty stupid.


16. Pocahontas
D: Mike Gabriel, Eric Goldberg
**********
A shallow, patronizing and overly simplistic environmentalist/noble savage movie with one good song.


15. Batman Forever
D: Joel Schumacher
**********
It has some good story elements, and Val Kilmer is surprisingly good as this interpretation of Batman.  The visuals are need, but there’s a lot of dated CGI.  The villains are annoying.  This might have been a great interpretation of the campy Batman if it was as funny as the 60’s movie.  Elliot Goldenthal’s score may not be as iconic as others, but it has some good tracks in it.


14. The Usual Suspects
D: Bryan Singer
**********
A good neo-noir thriller.


13. Desperado
D: Robert Rodriguez
**********
Actually, pretty dull except for Antonio Banderas’ flamboyance, Steve Buscemi’s cameo, and the excellent gunfight in the bar.


12. A Goofy Movie
D: Kevin Lima
**********
Actually, a pretty decent movie with some funny moments.  The Powerline concert, however, is really corny and dated.

11. Balto
D: Simon Wells
**********
A very solid, thrilling animated movie.


10. Se7en
D: David Fincher
**********
This grungy thriller is pretty much the movie Saw wanted to be.  Very brutal and has a very depressing ending.


9. The City of Lost Children
D: Jean-Pierre Jeunet, Marc Caro
**********
An atmospheric and creative fantasy from Jean-Pierre Jeunet.


8. Braveheart
D: Mel Gibson
**********
Although the bias against the British is very blatant, this is still a very well-executed movie.  Mel Gibson may be crazy, but he is an undeniably talented director.  Though I general find James Horner’s scores frustratingly repetitive, this movie is his best work.

D: Sam Raimi
**********
I don’t know why this doesn’t have more of a following.  It’s not without its flaws (two bland protagonists and it would’ve worked better as a comedy), but it’s a WESTERN directed by SAM RAIMI.  I repeat: WESTERN.  SAM RAIMI.  His visual style and over-the-top camp violence works perfectly for the genre.  The movie also has a charismatic villain and a colorful side cast.   


6. 12 Monkeys
D: Terry Gilliam
**********
A great, dark sci-fi movie with Gilliams excellent style.


5. Die Hard with a Vengeance
D: John McTiernan
**********
This was not as well received as the mediocre Die Hard 2, and I cannot figure out why.  It’s a worthy follow-up to the first with a great villain.  Samuel L. Jackson has great chemistry with McClane. 


4. Tommy Boy
D: Peter Segal
**********
The quintessential 90's road comedy.


D: Martin Campbell
**********
This is the first Bond movie I’ve ever seen, but even without the nostalgic value, I’d still say it’s one of the best.  You may say classic Bonds are the old ones, but this one trounces all the previous Bond movies in character development and the quality of the action scenes.  Sean Bean’s Trevelyan is my favorite Bond villain by far, as he is the perfect nemesis for Bond.  This was the best in the series until Casino Royale came out.  It has my favorite Bond intro, too.  Oh yeah, and Goldeneye 64 is awesome, too.


2. Toy Story
D: John Lasseter
**********
Not only is a very good movie, but it literally revolutionized the film industry by adding a new medium to it.  A reflection of our disregard for animation is that most years don't feature a competitive movie for Best Picture, this is one of those that unfortunately shared a year with a truly exceptional live action film...


1. Heat
D: Michael Mann
**********
Like the tagline says, it’s an epic saga in a modern age.  Great characterizations and gunfights.






No comments:

Post a Comment