6. Bram Stoker’s Dracula
D: Francis Ford Coppola
**********
Visually arresting, well-acted (with the exception of
Keanu Reeves) and almost faithful to the novel, this movie would have been
excellent if they had not shipped Mina with Dracula. The yiff scene didn’t exactly help either.
D: Jon Acevski
**********
An all-out assault on logic. So bad it’s good.
4. Alien3
D: David Fincher
**********
Good visuals and atmosphere don’t make up for the slow
pacing and the depressing retcon of the previous movie’s ending.
3. FernGully: The Last Rainforest
D: Bill Kroyer
**********
Preachy and dull movie that has a great villain song.
2. Toys
D: Barry Levinson
**********
It has some good humor, but its obnoxious story and
message of “war toys are bad” ruin it.
1. Aces: Iron Eagle III
D: John Glen
**********
An absurd action movie in which drug trouble out at a
WWII air show. The day is decided by
people dogfighting in obsolete aircraft, and a Scaled Composites ARES is passed
off as a “Messerschmitt 263” (Get it? It’s like 262+1). It’s described as “the plane that would have
won the war for Germany” as if Germany’s problems could have been solved by a
new plane in 1945. Also, for some reason
the air show uses paintball rounds in
its performances.
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