If there's one thing this year demonstrated, it's that the Academy Awards isn't always above given a Best Picture nod to a sci-fi movie.
So long as that movie is really stupid and unoriginal.
13. Inglourious Basterds
D: Quentin Tarantino
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Filmbrain may have stirred up some controversy by doing a terrible review of one of my favorite movies, but I ended up agreeing with much of what he said in his review of this movie. However, its gleeful violence is equally dealt out to hapless Wehrmacht
soldiers as well as actual Nazis.
Conversely, Django Unchained’s
saving grace is that the karmic violence was limited to individuals who
actually deserved it. The mindset that
all Germans were equally responsible for the atrocities of the Third Reich
might have been a necessary evil in the day, but there’s no reason to think
like that 70 years later. If we want to
avoid becoming like them again, the last thing to do is to depict them as
cartoon villains. Still, the movie is stylish, witty and fun, and Hans Landa (Christoph Waltz) is a classic villain.
12. Star Trek
D: J. J. Abrams
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While watchable, visually pretty and well-cast, this
movie misses the point of the series and its characters. It’s formulaic and has an incredibly bland
villain. At least it was the first Trek movie with decent CGI. Unlike most people, I thought the sequel was a vast improvement.
11. District 9
D: Neill Blomkamp
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This movie uses the immigration of worker-class space aliens who can get high of a mundane food item as a metaphor for racism. The movie’s story style awkwardly switches
from faux documentary to full-blown action movie. I think the guy who turns into an alien after
being exposed to the fuel in one of their devices is like aliens’ blending in
with us by dousing themselves in gasoline.
Had some good action and violence going for it.
10. Crank: High Voltage
D: Mark Neveldine, Brian Taylor
**********
While I think the first movie was a good action-comedy ruined
by a rape scene, this movie repeats the scene (albeit a little more consensual)
while adding even more poorly-executed attempts at humor. Much of the humor is ruined by no one reacting
like a real person to events. There are
some funny moments, though.
9. Avatar
D: James Cameron
**********
While the special effects are very good, they are more evolutionary
than revolutionary. When you’ve grown up
with things like FernGully and Pocahontas, you’re confused by people’s
acting like this movie is something special. Only those movies weren't nearly as boring and had a couple good songs to show for it.
Sure, Cameron could have made the premise complex and intelligent but he
didn’t, and that was already done the same year he was hacking out Titanic.
D: Patrick Tatopoulos
**********
A dull and unnecessary prequel that raises more
questions than it answers.
7. Law Abiding Citizen
D: F. Gary Gray
**********
Another absurd and contrived movie written by Kurt Wimmer
6. Surrogates
D: Jonathan Mostow
**********
A forgettable movie with terrible worldbuilding and bland
visuals. The device this movie revolves
around should revolutionize the way the world looks (eg: cars would not have to
be designed with safety in mind), but it looks exactly the same as our world. They couldn’t even be bothered to put on some
half-assed add-ons onto cars to make them look slightly futuristic like most
sci-fi movies do. At least the trailer,
which gives away the twist, is set to a good Celldweller song, and the closing theme is good (though it only lasts a minute).
5. Extract
D: Mike Judge
**********
A disappointing follow-up to Office Space which is hardly ever funny. Also, if you hate Karma Houdinis you’ll be
frustrated by this film. Most of the
protagonists are scum, and the one person who dies ignominiously was actually a
pretty nice guy even though I think we were supposed to be annoyed by him, I’m
not sure. And those two racist (they
suspect the Hispanic guy of stealing one of their belongings even after their
boss returns it to her and tells her it
wasn’t him) old women who are responsible for the factory accident get no comeuppance. A big waste of Jason Bateman and Mike Judge’s
talents.
4. New Moon
D: Chris Weitz
**********
The most unwatchable of all the Twilight movies. Bella’s
self-destructive behavior is at its worst here.
3. Knowing
D: Alex Proyas
**********
This actually could have been an okay movie if not for
the ending. Seriously, these aliens
could have done anything to save humanity all these years, and what was their
plan? Scare children, give them cryptic
messages, gather a few of them up and dump them on some random planet. No adults.
No remnant of the millennia of culture and knowledge our race has
developed. Just a bunch of kids trying
to figure out all by themselves how to rebuild civilization. But that’s okay, children are angels,
right? We’ll be better without our
cultural baggage and it won’t be anything like Lord of the Flies or anything.
It’s at best poorly though-out and at worst its motivated by the idiotic
“children are wiser than we are” garbage that Hollywood loves to dole out.
2. “Transformers:” Revenge of the Fallen
D: Michael Bay
**********
While the more improved action sequences make this movie
marginally more fun than its predecessor, that doesn’t help much. It’s very much like the first “Transformers” on crack: the action is
given a boost, but unfortunately so is the racist and juvenile comic relief.
D: Sam Raimi
**********
Sam Raimi used to be a master of camp and dark humor, but
this is like watching a supernatural snuff film. Laughing at Devastator's balls would have
been lowbrow. Laughing at this movie
means either one is in denial about Raimi’s continued comic talent or needs to
have his/her basement checked by the FBI. Unfortunately, most people seemed to think this movie is just that, which makes me worry for humanity.
This probably has to do with my religious beliefs. As someone who believes in Heaven and Hell, I
also believe that the judgment of where people go has to have some logic and
fairness. The idea that there is no
mercy or logic in something that is far more serious than any earthly issue is
offensive and disgusting to me.
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